A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 27: 6 "False Yes-ers & True Friends"

Proverbs 27: 6     Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Proverbs 27: 6.  Frequently repeated advice for leaders is to build a team of people who buy into and support your vision.  That’s decent advice, but the danger is that in doing so you end recruiting yes-men and yes-women. 

And that makes you vulnerable to false yes-ers.  False yesers act as though they believe in the vision, when they really just want to be on the team.  So, false yesers don’t focus their gifts and energy on accomplishing the objectives of the organization.  Instead they  focus all their powers on maintaining and advancing their personal positions and prosperity within the team, even if their actions destroy the vision..  False yesers will undermine the strength of the team by sacrificing/ sabotaging good, sincere colleagues in order to make a profit for themselves. 

False yessers are the enemies who smile in your face and betray you with a kiss---- like Judas.

(There are some sincere yes-folks. There are some people who so sincerely believe in your vision/ believe in you that if you asked them to jump off a bridge, they’d be halfway to the ground yelling back, “How’s my form?  Should I point my toes more?”)

The greatest team assets for a leader are not folks who always say “yes” whether or not they accept the vision.  Leaders most of all need people who believe in the vision, but always tell the truth.   And sometimes the truth is, “No, Mr. Leader, that’s a bad idea.”

King David had a man on his team named Joab.   Joab always had David’s back.  When David went into battle, Joab fought at his side.  When David went into exile, Joab went with him.  When David became king, Joab became David’s general. 

Joab always believed in David’s anointing, but Joab didn’t always agree with David--- especially when it came to David’s son Absalom. 

When King David wasn’t giving enough attention to his son Absalom’s issues, Joab reprimanded him for it and engineered a meeting of reconciliation (2 Kings 14).  But Joab’s plan wasn’t a yes-man’s plan, so David didn’t follow through with it, and that set in motion Absalom’s drift into full-fledged military rebellion against his father. 

David, the leader, had consistently ignored Absalom’s issues.  Joab, a loyal member of David’s team, consistently advised David to directly deal with   Absalom.  David didn’t want Joab’s opposing advice.  Through it all, Joab stayed on David’s team.  He continued to fight at David’s side,  watch David’s back, and take David’s orders; but he never gave David a false “yes.”

 Because David didn’t heed the sincere, opposing advice of this man who’s gifts, wisdom, and loyalty had been proven again and again, David’s family & kingdom experienced tragedy.

Absalom took his father’s David’s throne in a coup (2 Samuel 15), publicly slept with/ raped his father’s wives, and launched a bloody civil war aimed at killing David.  After all this, David wanted to spare Absalom, but Joab disagreed and killed him---- against David’s orders (2 Samuel 18) but restoring David’s leadership/ vision over the nation.

Again withdrawing --- this time in grief--- on the Absalom issue, David put his newly regained kingship at risk.  Joab’s honest, loyal, but hard advice again saved David’s kingship/ saved the vision God had given for David as king (2 Samuel 18: 33- 2 Samuel 19: 18). 

Joab’s words and actions wounded his friend David, but those wounds were for David’s own good.

You, brother leader/ sister leader, may be most comfortable surrounded by yes-folks.  But, you will be most productive and most secure surrounded by honest folks. 

Don’t require blind, stupid loyalty or you end up with a team of blind, stupid people. 

Observant, wise, & honest loyalty is much better for your inner circle.

Yes, dear leader, you will have to make the final decision because the final responsibility for success or failure rests with you.

But, think of it like this:  If your people are observant, wise, and honest enough to be on your team, shouldn’t you at least consider their ideas?  Cause if their honest ideas aren’t ever observant or wise enough for your consideration--- why in crap are they even on the team?

----- Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

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