OUTFIT OR EXPECTATION?

I'm not in the military.  But, if  I dressed like a soldier, and if I dressed my son like a soldier every day, what would you think I wanted my son to be when he grew up?    More importantly, what would my son assume I expected of him when he grew up?

…… A soldier, right?    

O.K.

Now they say, "A picture is worth a thousand words," so do this for me.   If you are the parent of a jr. high or high school age daughter, do an internet image search for the phrase "hooker costume" or "prostitute costume." 

Then look through your and your daughter's closets.  (I'm not even kidding.)  Are there any wear-outside-the-house outfits in your home that look like what the rest of the world would call the costume of a prostitute?

Now, what do you expect your daughter to be when she grows up?

What are you dressing her like you expect her to be when she grows up?

What role are you modeling (literally) for her?

Yes, I’m just a man.  Who am I to tell you or your child how to dress? 

I’m not telling you or your child how to dress.   I’m simply asking you to consider what loud, unspoken, and universally understood message you are sending about your baby girl when you dress her in a thong, butt-length skirt, push-up bra, and stiletto heels ------ for a school field trip.

I don’t know you or what’s in your closet.  I don’t buy your clothes and I’m not telling you how to spend your hard earned money.

I’m simply asking you to see what your money is actually buying. What unspoken, but loud and repeated message are you giving your daughter about the role you expect her to play in her relationships?

I’m not telling you who she is.  I’m not predicting the kind of person she’ll be. 

I am saying that it’s hard enough for any young lady to get the respect she deserves from the males who approach with their testosterone fueled agendas.  Why then would loving and thinking parents compound the difficulty by paying for a visual invitation to approach their daughter like she’s “not a good girl”?

My son may become a soldier no matter how I dress him.  My son may reject military service no matter what clothes I buy for him. 

But, if you instinctively understand that the way I dress my boy constitutes a push toward a certain lifestyle, then doesn’t the way you dress your girl also and equally matter?

I’m just asking.

(P.S.  I have a teenage daughter, and I do not dress my son like a soldier.)

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Call me at 334-288-0577
Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com
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To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.