You
can either dip your nose into other people’s business
Or
you can stick your neck out and help.
Dipping you
nose
in somebody’s business is easy. You control
how much information you get. If things
get too deep for your comfort and people start expecting you to invest in an
actual solution, you can always pull back, brush your face off and walk
away. You don’t risk much. You don’t have much “skin in the game.” You’re
just being nosey.
The words of a gossip
are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts. (Proverbs 26: 22)
Nosey
folks don’t want to help. They “just
wanna know.” To them, your problems are entertainment
to them. Your life is just a live version of social
media. They’ll look, like, unlike, comment,
and share it with other friends. But
they aren’t going to actually DO anything to make it better.
They
won’t get that involved. They just want
to stay cool, and take a dip in your business.
Let’s
say you heard that a couple in your church was having marital problems. You could just “dip” a little to find out
what she said he did. It would surely be
a juicy conversation, and might even make you and your friends feel better
about your relationships. You’d feel
better and safe, having heard much and risked nothing.
Sticking
your neck out is risky. In Romans 16: 3,
4, the Apostle Paul commended a couple named “Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow
workers in Christ Jesus, who risked their own necks for my life, to
whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles.”
Priscilla
and Aquila had gotten all up in Paul’s business. At some point Paul’s personal problems with persecution
or sickness or poverty, got so bad that he was about to die. Priscila and Aquila, wife and husband, took
some of that weight onto their own shoulders. And when you put a weight on your
shoulders, you have to stick your neck out.
If
you’re a follower of Christ, the only reason for you to get in someone else’s
business is to help them carry the weight of the problem.
Bear one another’s
burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
(Galatians 6: 2)
And
make no mistake, the weight of their burdens will cause you pain. It won’t be entertaining. You may end up carrying more than you’d
intended for longer than you’d planned.
If
you helped bear the burden with that couple with marriage problems you’d have
to pray with them. You’d have to talk to
them both. You might have to convince your
spouse to invite them over. You could
end up talking to them long after it stopped being entertaining. You might learn more about them and yourself
than feels comfortable.
The
information could begin to feel like, well, like a burden.
Getting
involved by the neck is stressful, inconvenient, painful, and dangerous.
When
Paul said that Priscilla and Aquilla “risked their necks,” it probably wasn’t a
metaphor. They might have been beheaded
for associating themselves with a man whose issues included:
in labors more
abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths
often. From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three
times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked;
a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in
perils of the Gentiles, in
perils in the city, in perils
in the wilderness, in perils in
the sea, in perils among false
brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and
thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness (2 Corinthians 11:
23-27)
As
Christians we are commanded to stick our necks out for other Christians with histories
and issues like THAT. And sometimes, the
very people you are risking your neck for are the ones who put the blade to it.
At
any point, after all you’ve done to help that estranged couple, one or both of
them could turn on you. They might blame
your advice for their problem. They might say some mean things to you about
your relationship. Hurt people tend to
hurt people.
That
is the risk of sticking your neck out.
But
if you aren’t willing to risk your neck to help them, then don’t dip your nose
in their business.
Writing
to the Thessalonian church, Paul (who had experienced the difference between
people who dipped their noses and people who risked their necks) wrote, “: If
anyone will not work, neither shall he eat” (2 Thessalonians 3: 10).
We
repeat that quote as a statement on personal economic responsibility, which it
is. But, the immediate reason why Paul
said that is in verse 11.
For
we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not
working at all, but are busybodies.
A
busybody (Greek periergos)
was somebody who as in/about other people’s labors/ work/ business.
Allow
me to contemporize all of that.
Paul basically said, “In the church, if all you’re gonna do is go around dipping your nose in other people’s business, then you should just go off somewhere and starve.”
Paul basically said, “In the church, if all you’re gonna do is go around dipping your nose in other people’s business, then you should just go off somewhere and starve.”
I’ll
just leave that right there, cause I could keep going
---Anderson
T. Graves II is a writer, community organizer and
consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
Rev.
Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield,
Alabama; executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking
Organization (SAYNO); and director
of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human
Development (NIHD).
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
You
can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button
on the right-hand sidebar.
Support
by check or money order may be mailed to
Miles
Chapel CME Church
P
O Box 132
Fairfield,
Al 35064
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