My son was with me when I walked into the Montgomery County
Jail yesterday. I had to get him to a
doctor’s appointment, but I also needed
to check on one of the cyclically homeless guys I work with in town. I timed checking Anderson out of school so I
could do both before I went in to the SAYNO office for my other, other jobSome
dads make you wait in the car while they grab donuts for the office. A pastor’s teen son waits in the lobby of the
Sheriff’s department while he goes back to chat with an inmate. . Anderson wasn’t fazed.
I had the conversation, checked on my client’s status.
No, not my client. What’s the word for people you pastor who
aren’t members of your church and live 4 counties away from your
congregation? Well I checked on one of
those guys and was back in the detention center lobby on schedule to drive my
son across town to the doctor. And that’s
when the whole day went nuts.
Anderson handed me my phone (he held onto it while I was in
the visiting area), and nonchalantly remarked, “Mom texted you.”
The text from my wife, his mother, which he had read, and
replied to, the text which he pointed out with zero sense of urgency said: KAITLIN’S CAR BROKE DOWN SOMEWHERE ON THE
SIDE OF THE ROAD IM ON MY WAY TO GET HER.
Whuuuut!?
Our daughter Kaitlin is in college in another state. She was driving home from Mississippi for the
weekend.
Now I’m thinking: When
was this? Side of what road? “Broke down”
how? Is the car on fire? Is Kaiitlin on fire? How far down the road is Sheila? Why da’ crap didn’t this boy tell the
officers to come get me?
My baby girl was stranded, alone in another state, visible
and vulnerable to all of the things fathers don’t want to think about. Long story, short, I drove 3 hours to Mississippi
yesterday and 3 hours back.
I’m from Mississippi so I called my family, explained
Kaitlin’s situation and set them to it.
By the time the tow truck unhitched Kaitlin’s car, my brother-in-law had
someone waiting in Meridian to pick her up and make sure she got something to
eat. Shortly after that my mom and my
older sister arrived to drive Kaitlin around, lift her spirits, and watch her
back. In the meantime, Sheila had gotten Anderson to the doctor and checked
back in to school. Hours later, when my
tires squealed to a stop in Meridian, the not-quite panic-but-definitely-tears I’d
heard over the sound of 18 wheelers passing too close to Kaitlin’s stalled
vehicle had been transformed into a relaxed smile and the sweet, smart sarcasm
that my daughter gets from me.
I love my children. I’d
charge Hell with a pocketknife and a water gun if that’s
what it took to
protect them. But, yesterday I faced how
incapable I am of protecting them . . . alone.
Jesus was Mary’s firstborn son. By tradition, Jesus should have provided for
her and protected Mary, who was a widow by then. Jesus certainly had the power to protect Mary,
but He couldn’t be right there for her (not in the traditional, directly physical
way). At least, not alone.
While He was on the cross, Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing
by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” Then He said to the
disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to
his own home (John 19: 25, 26).
Jesus knew he’d be physically far away from His mom the next
time her donkey stalled on the road between Jerusalem and Nazareth so He called
his friend John to meet her where she was and make sure she made it somewhere
safe.
If you have or will have children, you’ll face the moment
when you cannot be right there to fix what just went wrong in their world. You’ll face the morning when even if you left
immediately and none of the 16 million sheriffs and state troopers on Highway
80 forced you to slow down, you’d still arrive too late to protect them from
whomever that was in the RV that pulled over behind her. You
need friends and family who will be there for yours like they are for their
own.
Jesus is the Incarnate Word who created the universe (John
1), and Mary had other sons and daughters besides Jesus (Mark 6:3). So when we see that Jesus still developed a
wide network of extended friends and family to watch over the woman He loved
most in the world, it’s an example for what we should do.
And trust me on this, you need that network.
Yesterday, I realized how blessed I am to have friends and
family who will take
my calls and disrupt their own busy lives to make take
make sure my child is safe, fed, comforted, and protected in places and times
when I can’t. Today I am grateful to God
for the ties of love that bind me and my house to so many others.
---Anderson T. Graves II is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama; executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO); and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
You can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.
Support by check or money order may be mailed to
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132
Fairfield, Al 35064
No comments:
Post a Comment