WHEN STRONG FRIENDS HURT

In 2 Kings chapter 2, the prophet Elijah was about to leave this world, and he knew it.  However, being a strong, go-it-alone type-A kind of guy (1 Kings 18:22), Elijah didn’t want to worry anyone---- especially his closest friend Elisha.

And it came to pass, when the Lord was about to take up Elijah into heaven by a whirlwind, that Elijah went with Elisha from Gilgal. Then Elijah said to Elisha, “Stay here, please, for the Lord has sent me on to Bethel.” (2 Kings 2: 1, 2)

Elisha though sensed that something was wrong, and he replied, “As the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, I will not leave you!” So they went down to Bethel [together]. (2 Kings 2: 2)

Elijah went from Bethel to Jericho and from Jericho all the way across the Jordan.  At each point in the journey to his end, Elijah told his friend, “Don’t worry about me.  Stay here.  I’ll go on alone.”

Each time Elisha replied, “As the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, I will not leave you!”

When the end came, Elisha was there with Elijah. 

Then it happened, as they continued on and talked, that suddenly a chariot of fire appeared with horses of fire, and separated the two of them; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven. …Now when the sons of the prophets who were from Jericho saw him, they said, “The spirit of Elijah rests on Elisha.” (2 Kings 2: 11, 15)

The strong man did not have to face the fiery chariot alone, and Elisha gained a doubled connection to the spirit of his friend and mentor.

Strong, go-it-alone, I-got-this, type-A kind of people don’t share their pain.  It’s out of character for them to admit that they are hurting.  So when they do, it means that they hurt BAD.

By the time you get to them to comfort them they may say, “Oh, I’m fine now.  Don’t worry about me.  I’ll go on alone.”

They’re not fine.  They’re just back in character. 

If they were in enough pain to actually admit to hurting in the first place, that pain was at a level that doesn’t just go away. 

But they will jump back into their routine.  They’ll work from here to Bethel, to Jericho, and all the way across the Jordan.  And, while they’re working they’ll say, “I’m fine.”

They’re not. 

They’re still hurting.  They’re just back in character.

Your job in those times is to be their Elisha. 

You can’t fix it for type-A, go-it-alone kind of people.  The problem, the pain, the flaming chariot that’s coming is theirs alone to ride.  And they don’t expect you to fix it,  but they need you to be there.  They really need you to just be there while they hurt for a while.

If you can understand that and just be there, your presence will give them the strength to face what’s coming, and the experience will leave you with a greater portion in the spiritual connection between you.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 31: 25. "The Warrior Wife"

Proverbs 31: 25     Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.

Proverbs 31: 25.  I feel really bad for a man who, day after day, has to wake up to weak coffee and/or a weak woman.  Neither one is going to help the brother get through the day.

And, sisters, I know that there are a historical and cultural forces that encourage you to dull your intellect, atrophy your strength, and let your boobs speak for you.  Fight against those forces.

It may be easier to project a perpetually wretched attitude.  It may be easier to pretend to be stupid until it’s no longer pretending.  It may be easier to let men pass you around like an unmarked cup at a frat party.  But in the end you will have only misery.

It’s more difficult for a woman to walk in her strengths, to lead with her brains and not her body, to be honorable in relationships rather than being gossipy, messy, and cliquish.  Yeah, that is much harder. But God promises and experience proves that you will be happier in the end.

God made you to be both strong and honorable. 

Not miserable and wretched.  Not weak and silent.   Not dumb and promiscuous.  Strong and honorable.

Strength refers to the ability to perform her tasks.  Honor refers to trustworthiness and loyalty.

Strength and honor sounds like a warrior traits, don’t they? 

Of course they do.

After all , a man needs a wife who will watch his back, much like a king needs bodyguards to watch his.

A king doesn’t ask the cook to watch his back if the cook is just a cook.  A king doesn’t leave guard duty to the butler if the butler is just the butler.  A king doesn’t dispatch the janitor to cover the flank while he charges toward the enemy, not if the janitor is just a janitor. No.   Unless------ the cook, the butler, and the janitor are really warriors undercover.   

Under the cover of marital submission, a man’s wife is really his most trusted and loyal warrior.

Now, I don’t need my wife’s physical protection.  Physical protection is my job. (Yes.  It is.) 

But I do need somebody to spot (and sometimes quietly eliminate) the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual threats that I miss.   That’s the job of my warrior-queen.

When I look at the woman God gave me to watch my back I know that she will and I know that she can.   I hear it in her conversation.  I see it in the clothes she chooses (and chooses not) to wear.  I feel it in the way her body tenses and her eyes narrow when untrustworthy people step into my personal space.   It’s all over her.

She wears strength and honor like clothing.

And that looks good on a woman.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

Proverbs 31: 25. "The Warrior Wife"

Proverbs 31: 25     Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.

Proverbs 31: 25.  I feel really bad for a man who, day after day, has to wake up to weak coffee and/or a weak woman.  Neither one is going to help the brother get through the day.

And, sisters, I know that there are a historical and cultural forces that encourage you to dull your intellect, atrophy your strength, and let your boobs speak for you.  Fight against those forces.

It may be easier to project a perpetually wretched attitude.  It may be easier to pretend to be stupid until it’s no longer pretending.  It may be easier to let men pass you around like an unmarked cup at a frat party.  But in the end you will have only misery.

It’s more difficult for a woman to walk in her strengths, to lead with her brains and not her body, to be honorable in relationships rather than being gossipy, messy, and cliquish.  Yeah, that is much harder. But God promises and experience proves that you will be happier in the end.

God made you to be both strong and honorable. 

Not miserable and wretched.  Not weak and silent.   Not dumb and promiscuous.  Strong and honorable.

Strength refers to the ability to perform her tasks.  Honor refers to trustworthiness and loyalty.

Strength and honor sounds like a warrior traits, don’t they? 

Of course they do.

After all , a man needs a wife who will watch his back, much like a king needs bodyguards to watch his.

A king doesn’t ask the cook to watch his back if the cook is just a cook.  A king doesn’t leave guard duty to the butler if the butler is just the butler.  A king doesn’t dispatch the janitor to cover the flank while he charges toward the enemy, not if the janitor is just a janitor. No.   Unless------ the cook, the butler, and the janitor are really warriors undercover.   

Under the cover of marital submission, a man’s wife is really his most trusted and loyal warrior.

Now, I don’t need my wife’s physical protection.  Physical protection is my job. (Yes.  It is.) 

But I do need somebody to spot (and sometimes quietly eliminate) the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual threats that I miss.   That’s the job of my warrior-queen.

When I look at the woman God gave me to watch my back I know that she will and I know that she can.   I hear it in her conversation.  I see it in the clothes she chooses (and chooses not) to wear.  I feel it in the way her body tenses and her eyes narrow when untrustworthy people step into my personal space.   It’s all over her.

She wears strength and honor like clothing.

And that looks good on a woman.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116