Proverb 30: 23a ""She's Just Hateful"

Proverbs 30: 21     For three things the earth is perturbed.  Yes, for four it cannot bear up:
22     For a servant when he reigns,
A fool when he is filled with food,
23     A hateful woman when she is married,
And a maidservant who succeeds her mistress.

Proverbs 30: 21, 23.  The sage lists 4 things that create turmoil in the world.  The last two involve women.  (This is where I could quite easily make a sarcastic, semi-sexist comment, but I will resist.)

#3 on the list of earth shaking ironies is a hateful woman when she is married.  Some translations say an unloved woman, but that’s not accurate.  The adjective used is sane| saw-nay’|, which means hate, to hate, an enemy, to be hateful, or, in its participle form, simply “hater.”

So here’s the point:  Finding a man won’t fix you if you’re broken.  If you are, as I heard husbands in Bassfield lament, “just plain hateful” then marriage is not the solution.

A bitter woman (or man) wrapped in the sacred bonds of marriage is a spiritual danger to herself and to others.  Marriage is designed to be an example to the world of the mystery of the intimate relationship between Jesus and His Bride, the Church (Ephesians 5: 31-33).

When our individual hatefulness & brokenness overwhelms the marriage bond, what we deliver in marriage is a corrupted and distorted image of salvation.  The power of our individual prayers is diminished (1 Peter 3: 7).  And our spiritual legacy is corrupted as we produce damaged children instead of godly offspring (Malachi 2: 13-15).

Look around.  Look well, and you’ll see that one of the major reasons our world is so disturbed is that our marriages are so disturbing. 

People postpone marriage until they reach a certain status, income, or educational level.  They'll even push back the wedding date so they can get their preferred venue for the reception.  Yet, seldom do couples wait until they’ve dealt with their respective foolishness, hatefulness, and insanity.

So Mr.  Crazy marries Ms. Hateful and the whole world suffers.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

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