If a woman vows a
vow to the Lord and binds herself by a pledge, while within her
father's house in her youth, and her father hears it and says nothing to her,
then all her vows and pledges shall stand. But if her father opposes her on the
day that he hears of it, none of the promises she made will stand against her.
And the Lord will forgive her,
because her father said, “No.” (Numbers 30: 3-5, my paraphrase)
I had the meeting
I’ve expected and dreaded for the last 16 years. (I’m including the months of
pregnancy after we found out it was a girl)
I met the boy who wants to take my daughter out on a date.
It was a very
old-school meeting. He came to my home,
we took a walk, and I interrogated him.
I met his mother, who happens to be a friend of my wife’s, and before
the evening was over, I’d also met his father.
They’re a nice family. He seems
like a quality young man.
I hate him.
But I’m going to let
him take my daughter away from my house, alone with him in a car, at night.
If he weren’t dating
my daughter, I’d like this young man.
But he is, so I proceed with him in a relationship based on my overt
suspicion of his every move and motive.
As our Father, God
recognizes that we will spend time with the world. He understands that it is natural for us to
have relationships with “them.” And
though God so loves the whole world that He gave His only begotten Son, make no
mistake, God does not trust them---- not with us.
Therefore “Come out from among them and be separate,”
says the Lord. “Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters,” says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6: 17, 18)
Ultimately, our
Heavenly Father wants for us what I want for my daughter. God wants us to choose the right groom, the One
who will love us like our Father does.
Jesus said to them,
“If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came
from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me. (John 8:42)
In the meantime, God
knows that all of us have to fumble our way through the awkwardness of
spiritual courtship in this world. And
I, the earthly father, have to give my daughter the freedom and tools to navigate
the dating process without losing herself until she finds and chooses “the one”
who will love her as much as I do.
Now that I’m in this
stage of fatherhood, I understand God better.
I feel something of His pain when He sent Adam and Eve out of the
protection of the Garden and let them go from Him, alone, in a car with the
world. As I consider my own internal
turmoil, I can only imagine the----- the ----- the what-even-is the-word? The anxiety
(?) God must endure every second of every day over each of the billions of His
children who are courted by the world.
But God gives us the
freedom and , by His Word, the tools to negotiate the seductions of this life without
losing ourselves. And if out of the
security of a loving relationship with God, we will apply our Father’s wise
instructions, then one day He will have the joy of giving us away to live the
rest of our eternal lives with the right Groom.
Let us be glad and
rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife
has made herself ready.” (Revelations 19: 7)
In the meantime
though, make no mistake. God does not
and is not going to like any of the boys His daughters date.
And I don’t think
God has a problem with me feeling that way, too. As Jesus said, “I pray for them. I do not
pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me, for they are Yours.”
(John 17: 9)
Which was Jesus’ way
of saying what I told this boy and won’t hesitate to tell the next one.
“You seem nice; but
when it come to my daughter, son, I really don’t like you.”
---Anderson T. Graves II is a writer, community organizer and
consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
Rev. Anderson T.
Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of
the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership
development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves
To listen to sermons
and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church,
visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .
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Hall Memorial CME
Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116
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