Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Thursday, February 10, 2022
Monday, October 31, 2016
PUSH
Imagine
you know you have less than 24 hours to live.
You gather your best friends around you and tell them, but they don’t
believe you. They say you’re too calm, too peaceful, to healthy to die. How can
you explain? How can you make them understand and at the same time, give them
the words to guide them through grief and loss and into peace and strength?
In
the text for Sunday’s sermon, Jesus was in exactly that situation. The Lord answered
His friends with a metaphor about . . . childbirth. Yes, childbirth.
Turn
to the closing half of John 16. The
title of sermon is PUSH.
Listen
well.
If
you can’t get the audio on your device, visit the main podcast page at http://revandersongraves.podomatic.com/
---Anderson
T. Graves II is a writer, community organizer
and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
Rev.
Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in
Fairfield, Alabama; executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth
Networking Organization (SAYNO);
and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for
Human Development (NIHD).
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
You
can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and
clicking the DONATE button
on the right-hand sidebar.
Support
by check or money order may be mailed to
Miles
Chapel CME Church
P
O Box 132
Fairfield,
Al 35064
mourning, joy, peace
Saturday, May 9, 2015
DEAR GRIEVING MOTHERS
 |
| Adam & Eve Mourning Abel painted by Louis-Ernest Barrias |
Thus says the Lord:
“A voice was heard in Ramah,
Lamentation and bitter weeping,
Rachel weeping for her
children,
Refusing to be comforted for
her children,
Because they are no more.”
Thus says the Lord:
“Refrain your voice from
weeping,
And your eyes from tears;
For your work shall be
rewarded, says the Lord,
And they shall come back
from the land of the enemy.
There is hope in your
future, says the Lord,
That your children shall come back to their own border. (Jeremiah 31: 15-17)
Dear
Grieving Mother,
Let
me tell you a true story. It happened a
long time ago, but it may sound familiar.
In
a close knit community, a young man was killed.
It came to pass, when they were in the field, that
Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. (Genesis 4: 8)
A
brother from the community was stopped and questioned.
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” (verse 9)
He
denied responsibility, but the evidence against him was overwhelming.
Cain said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
And the Lord replied, “What have you done? The voice
of your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground.” (verses 9b, 10)
The
brother was convicted of murdering one of his own. His future was ruined. All of his great potential for success taken
away.
So now you are
cursed from the earth, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s
blood from your hand. When you till the
ground, it shall no longer yield its strength to you. (v. 11, 12)
The
sentence for his crime was life. He would
never see his home or family again.
A fugitive and a vagabond you shall be on the earth.
(v. 12)
He
appealed.
And Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is greater than I can bear! …it
will happen that anyone who
finds me will kill me.” (v. 13, 14)
And
the judge commuted his sentence, but the leniency of the new punishment didn’t diminish
the pain orbiting around his crime.
And the Lord set a mark on Cain, lest anyone finding
him should kill him. (v. 15)
The
murderer’s descendants perpetuated and
exasperated the cycle of violence and self-destruction against their young men.
Then Lamech said to his wives: “Adah and Zillah,
hear my voice. Wives of Lamech, listen to
my speech, for I have killed a man for wounding me, even a young man for
hurting me. If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, then Lamech seventy-sevenfold.”
(v. 23, 24)
This
is the life and legacy of Cain, the original murderer. To us Cain was just plain bad.
But
not to his mama.
He
was the first child. More importantly,
he was HER first child. Eve rejoiced when
Cain was born. She gave him a name that means
“possession” or “to acquire.” He was
hers. He was Mama’s precious baby. Mama’s little man.
Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and
bore Cain, and said, “I have acquired a man from the Lord.” (Genesis 4: 1)
Cain
was his mother’s pride and her joy.
Imagine
her love for him and the son who followed. Now, imagine her pain when she had to bury one
son and lose another to the justice system.
Cain’s
judge was God Himself. There was no
corruption in the ruling. Cain’s
punishment was both just and merciful. But
do you think that made Eve feel any better?
Do you think Adam grieved any less because the results were “just”?
Was Cain’s mother able to move on? Yes.
Was
she able to get over it?
Never.
Adam
and Eve eventually had another son. Eve
named this one Seth, which means
“compensation.” The new baby was
supposed to make up for her loss. Indeed,
God made Seth a special blessing to Father Adam and Mama Eve. He was a good kid and a great father. Their grandbabies through Seth “began to call
on the name of the Lord.” (verse 26)
But
Eve never got over the babies she’d lost.
Even in the sweet moments after her “compensation” came into the world,
the first mother remembered Abel. She
remembered Cain. (verse 25)
The
writer(s) of Genesis weren’t there when all of this happened. Adam and Eve probably didn’t leave journals
behind. Perhaps their stories were
passed down through oral history.
Perhaps the Holy Spirit revealed it all through visions of the
past. (If God can accurately reveal the
future through prophecy it’s can’t be MORE difficult for Him to accurately
reveal the past.)
Whatever
the mechanism, God wanted this tragic narrative preserved and passed to
us. Seth himself is long gone. Cain’s line was destroyed in the Flood. So
what is God’s point for going through the trouble of telling their story?
In
part, so grieving mothers and fathers today know that their stories are not
theirs alone. Your pain is personal, but
it isn’t original.
Whether
you lost your child to miscarriage, sickness, accident, violence, criminal
justice, or however --- you are not the first parent whom God has comforted
through such a time.
The
fallen-ness of this sinful world makes such tragedy possible. On the grandest scale it is inevitable. But God is still present, and active, and able
to bring good even after the worst possible bad has happened.
The
mother and father in this and many other tragic tales in Scripture were part of
the Messianic line. Thus the Bible
proves that God won’t let your great pain be the end of your place in His great
plan. He will give you “compensation.”
Such
blessing isn’t always in the body of another child. But your “compensation” is
available in your gifts, your example, your enhanced compassion and
sensitivity, your deepened surrender to God.
Remember
that the “gift” of another son to Adam and Eve was also the calling to serve as
parents. Don’t miss your “compensation” because
it’s packaged as your SERVICE.
Like
Eve, you will never forget. Like Eve, you
can forge ahead. Like the first mother,
you may never completely “move on,” but you can still move forward. God has a plan and you’re part of it.
Dear
weeping mother,
God
wants to bring forth joy and greatness from you. He wants to give you a future and a hope.
He
can. He’s done it before.
---Anderson T. Graves
II is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry,
and rural leadership development.
Rev.
Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield,
Alabama; executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking
Organization (SAYNO); and director of
rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).
Subscribe
to my personal blog www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
#Awordtothewise
You
can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button
on the right-hand sidebar.
Support
by check or money order may be mailed to
Miles
Chapel CME Church
P O
Box 132
Fairfield,
Al 35064
Saturday, December 22, 2012
A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 29: 11, "Venting"
Proverbs 29: 11 A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise manholds them back.
Proverbs 29: 11. Sometimes you just need to vent.
Sometimes you don’t need advice or a solution. Sometimes there’s no solution to advise. You’re just hurting and you need to vent some of the pain and pressure before you implode.
That’s O.K.
When Jesus faced the grave of His friend Lazarus, He wept and groaned (John 11). Eventually, Jesus prayed and changed the situation, but initially Jesus just needed to vent.
It’s O.K. to vent sometimes.
Sometimes, but not all the time. And not to everybody.
Job vented his anguish to 4 friends and they spent the next 30 something chapters making him feel worse.
Eleven disciples went with Jesus to the Garden of Gethsemane, but when the time came for Jesus to pour out His heart about His passion, Jesus only took 3 disciples with Him, and He kept those 3 a stone’s throw away while He vented to His father (Matt. 26:36-39; Mark 14:32-36; Luke 22: 41).
Mary carefully observed young Jesus, how people responded to Him and how He answered people; but Mary didn’t tell everybody everything she saw or was told. A lot of things she kept to herself and pondered them in her heart. (Luke 2:19; Luke 2: 51)
Practice thinking before you vent. Consider whom you’re about to tell and what you’re about to tell them. Are they likely to help or to make matters worse? Can you trust everybody in the room with your pain or do you need to pull a few people aside and vent alone?
Think before you vent the most intimate details of the ongoing argument between you and your husband/ wife/ boss/ parent/ child/ whomever. Will telling the entire planet by posting your business online help or harm the ultimate goal of solving the problem and healing the relationship?
Emotion can compel you to react immediately, but remember that the root of the word emotion is motion, which refers to movement. In other words, feeling come and feeling go. Emotion is temporary, but venting emotion has permanent consequences.
Once you’ve spoken, you can apologize; you can explain. But, you cannot un-speak what you’ve said. And your audience cannot un-hear what you’ve told them.
Once that rant or that pic is posted, one share, one copy/paste later and it’s out there---- forever, for the entire planet to relive and repost at will.
It’s O.K., to vent sometimes; but sometimes, probably most of the time, you need to hold back and be thoughtful about how you share your emotions.
Now, don’t share false emotions. Don’t say you’re happy when you’re really broken-hearted. Don’t say that you don’t care if they leave when you really want them to stay. Speak truth or be silent.
Wisdom means knowing when to do which.
---Anderson T. Graves II is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
Call me at 334-288-0577
Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves
Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves
To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.
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