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Showing posts with label bad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad. Show all posts

Sunday, April 29, 2018

NOT WHAT YOU EXPECT (audio of the sermon)

A beloved public figure who was a hero to his people, a role model to a generation,  a man whose name was synonymous with goodness, is convicted of terrible crimes centering around his untamed sexual desires.

Today’s sermon is about David.

The title of the message is: NOT WHAT YOU EXPECT.

(Yeah, I mention Bill Cosby, too.)


Listen well and leave a comment.


If you can’t get the audio on your device, visit the main podcast page at http://revandersongraves.podomatic.com/

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves 

Click here to support this ministry with a donation.  Or go to andersontgraves.blogspot.com and click on the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132
Fairfield, AL 35064

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

HE'S A "BAD" MAN!

Blogging Genesis 38


Judah was bad man.  Not bad meaning “cool and charismatic,”  though Judah was cool and charismatic.  I mean Judah, son of Israel, father of kings, ancestor of Jesus, was a terrible human being.

Judah, with his other siblings seriously conspired to murder his younger brother Jospeh.  But then Judah thought, “What’s in it for me?”

So Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is there if we kill our brother and conceal his blood?   Come and let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother and our flesh.” And his brothers listened (Genesis 37: 26-27)

Judah lied to his father and youngest brother, pushing his dad into a state of deep depression from which he never fully recovered.  Then he moved out, married a pagan woman, and raised two sons ---- badly.  So badly that Judah’s eldest sons grew up so evil that God personally killed them. 

But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord killed him. . . And the thing which [Onan, Judah’s second son] did displeased the Lord; therefore He killed him also (Genesis 38: 7,10)

Of course Judah didn’t acknowledge his son’s sins because then he would’ve had to acknowledge his own.  Judah did what bad men do:  he blamed the woman. 

Then Judah said to Tamar his daughter-in-law, “Remain a widow in your father’s house till my son Shelah is grown.” For he said, “Lest he also die like his brothers.” (Genesis 38:11)


Hold up, now.  Think that through. 

Tamar had already surrendered the security of her father’s house.  Through no sin on her part, she was now a non-virgin, husband-less, childless, and twice-widowed woman in a society where any one of those descriptors left her vulnerable to the point of desperation.   Judah promised to save her from social disgrace and economic doom if she’d just “remain a widow,” just waive the possibility of any other match.  Judah basically convinced Tamar to trust him with her life savings which he promised to give back to her with dividends as soon as that Shelah investment matured in a few years.

The years passed.  Judah became widower/ single-father.  His son became a young man of marriageable age.  Tamar was still a grown woman living with her parents waiting on a wedding date from a fiancĂ© she hadn’t heard from.  And then “she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given to him as a wife” (Genesis 38:14).

Judah had taken Tamar’s life savings, literally the self/life she had saved on his word, and disappeared.

How was Judah processing the internal turmoil of making such a hard choice?   By hanging out with his pagan friends and picking up prostitutes. 

When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot, because she had covered her face.  Then he turned to her by the way, and said, “Please let me come in to you. . .
She said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?”
And he said, “I will send a young goat from the flock.”
So she said, “Will you give me a pledge till you send it?
Then he said, “What pledge shall I give you?”
So she said, “Your signet and cord, and your staff that is in your hand” (Genesis 38:15-18).

Judah, son of Israel, father of kings, ancestor of Jesus, paid for a hooker on credit.  On credit!

And don’t dismiss this as the impetuous actions of a passionate young man entrapped by a temptress.   
 First of all, he thought this woman was prostitute because her face WAS covered?  That’s like saying “She must be a sl*t because she never flirts with anybody.”   That’s just having a filthy mind. 
 Second of all, he propositioned her.             
And third, remember that Judah had raised 3 sons to adulthood.  He was old enough to be a grandfather.  Judah wasn’t a naiive youth. He was a dirty old man.

But this dirty old man, tippin’ round with that young girl didn’t know that his lady of the evening wasn’t a call girl.  She was Tamar.   Yep.  Judah slept with his daughter-in-law, his sons’ widow, and his youngest son’s betrayed fiancĂ©.   On credit.

Judah had falsely blamed Tamar for his son’s self-destructive lifestyles.  He’d tricked her into closing off all possibility of personal happiness with false promises.  He’d ignored her for years. And he’d conducted his own life with not “questionable” ethics but with a un-questionable absence of ethics.  But when Judah heard that Tamar was pregnant, he was shocked.  Shocked, I say! 

In his “righteous?” indignation, Judah ordered the men of the community, “Bring her out and let her be burned!” (Genesis 38:24)



However, before they could punish this nasty woman, Tamar “sent to her father-in-law, saying, ‘By the man to whom these belong, I am with child.’ And she said, ‘Please determine whose these are—the signet and cord, and staff.’ “

Judah had been a BAD man.

At this point, you’re probably re-evaluating Judah’s honored status in the pantheon of holy patriarchs.   If you’re a Bible reader, you might be thinking that the nation of Judah’s sinfulness could be linked to the evil of the nation’s namesake.   If you’re a Bible scholar, you might be contemplating the implications of Jesus as the genetic bearer of Judah’s sins as it applies to the salvific function of the god-man.

Now verse 26.  This is where Judah’s story shifts.  Here’s where he turns his life around and becomes the father of kings and noble ancestor we think of when someone sings of the “Lion of the Tribe of Judah.” 

For the rest of Genesis Judah is honorable, brave, wise, and correct in almost every decision he makes.  He is charismatic in leadership and cool under pressure.  He is the only one of Jacob’s son not born to Rachel to have his father’s genuine respect.  Judah earned that and transmitted those leadership qualities through a thousand years of descendants.  Judah was a bad man. 

Now, notice how you’re already forgetting how bad Judah was.  Feel that anger slip away as you read on for me to give you a moral about the power of repentance in even the most depraved lives.  You’re waiting on a word about how God can take a thug and make him father of kings, how the Lord can take a mess and make a message, how Jesus can transform a hustler-man into a holy man! 

Yeah, O.K.  That’s good, but that’s not what I was about to say.

So, it’s easy to think of Judah as either a good man or a bad one.  As either noble or terrible.  As the man way he used to be OR as the man he became.  But what about both simultaneously? 

Try to make your mind imagine a terrible person who is a good person.  Wait.  Don’t imagine a misunderstood person.  Don’t imagine someone who only seems terrible or only seems good.  Imagine a genuine villain who is a genuine hero.  See how hard that is?

It’s the intellectual equivalent of trying to flip a coin fast enough to see both sides at once. 



Flip.  Bill Cosby the model of positive Black fatherhood that inspired a generation.  Flip.  Bill Cosby the sexual predator.  Flip.  Michael Jackson the artist.  Flip.  Michael Jackson the pedophile.  Flip.  Your hero.  Flip. The next article revealing the evil your hero has done all the year they’ve been doing the things that made them your hero. Flip. Flip.  Flip-flip-flip-flip-flipflipflipfliiiipppp. Spin.

Our minds are conditioned to see into the spin.  We only process one flip at a time, and that’s why we sit next to each other looking at the same stories and seeing opposite truths. 

Judah was a bad, bad man.

Most people are.   

So while you try to see both sides of the next story, take these 3 lessons:

1.   Repent or you’ll never realize your potential. 
The Messiah could’ve been born to ANY son of Jacob-Israel.  The honor passed to Judah after Judah confessed his sins, repaired Tamar’s reputation, and turned from his evil ways.  
If you’re living in your sin you are not living into the legacy God could give you. 

2.  Salvation eternally removes God’s judgment from your future.  Salvation does NOT retroactively remove earthly consequences from your past.      
Judah got right but his two sons stayed dead.
God promises to heal the wounds you sustained, not the wounds you caused.

3.  Time’s up for pew pimpin’.
Judah’s hypocrisy enslaved a young man and nearly ended an innocent woman’s life but Judah was always safe. 
We’ve historically acted like saving the church requires us to protect bad bad men.  Maybe the salvation of a dying church depends on protecting them young girls.

Judah begot Perez and Zerah by Tamar, Perez begot Hezron, and Hezron begot Ram. Ram begot Amminadab, Amminadab begot Nahshon, and Nahshon begot Salmon. Salmon begot Boaz by Rahab, Boaz begot Obed by Ruth, Obed begot Jesse, and Jesse begot David the king.

God chose Tamar to be the mother of kings and the ancestor of Jesus. 

Church, let’s try harder to see into the spin.  Let’s be less inclined to protect our heroes by burning their victims and/or side-chicks before we consider the evidence.   Let’s try harder to consider the possibility that just maybe our hero and her villain could be the same. 

--Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama. He writes a blog called A Word to the Wise at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves 

Click here to support this ministry with a donation.  Or go to andersontgraves.blogspot.com and click on the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132
Fairfield, Al 35064







Sunday, November 30, 2014

GOOD GUYS GONE BAD


The hero in the zombie series “The Walking Dead” is Rick Grimes, a former sheriff.    When the series began Rick had a strong moral center, a need to protect, and a desire to build something good in a world gone very, very wrong.  Often, Rick was placed in scenes opposite ruthless villains so that the audience could hear Rick’s hopeful lines in contrast to the slick, manipulative, self-justifying monologues of the villains.

But our hero Rick has changed.

The bad guy this past season was a cannibal named Garrett, whose response to one his victim’s plea for mercy was, “There is no going back, Bob."

In the mid-season finale a handcuffed, unarmed police officer begged Sheriff Grimes to take him back to the group’s camp.  Rick replied, “There is no going back, Bob.”   Then he shot him in the face.

It didn’t have to be that way.  Rick didn’t have to take it that far. 

Like the real-life Biblical figure Jephthah.

Jephthah is one of the most inspiring characters in the Bible.   He was the progeny of his father’s adulterous liaison with a prostitute.  As soon as his father died, his brothers kicked him out, and he became the leader of a street gang.  (Judges 11: 1-3)

God raised Jephthah up out of the gutter and made him the leader of the Jewish people, one of the great Judges of Israel.  Under Jephthah’s leadership, a minor clan on the neglected side of the Israelite nation freed the children of Israel from 18 years of oppression under the pagan Ammonite nation. (Judges 11: 4-33)

But along the way, Jephthah did something terrible.  He made a hasty and unnecessary promise to God, though surely it seemed like a good idea at the time.  It certainly sounded holy and pious when he said it.

And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord, and said, “If You will indeed deliver the people of Ammon into my hands, then it will be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the people of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering.”  (Judges 11: 30, 31)

God didn’t ask Jephthah for that promise.  God didn’t offer victory in exchange for a burnt offering.  Right before Jephthah made the vow (verse 29) God had given Spiritual assurance to Jephthah that the battle was God’s will.  He didn’t have to take it that far.

Under Jephthah's leadership, the Gileadite clan of Israel won the battle, but when Jephthah came to his house at Mizpah, there was his daughter, coming out to meet him with timbrels and dancing; and she was his only child. Besides her he had neither son nor daughter. (Judges 11:34)

In Leviticus 18:21, and Leviticus 20 God explicitly and repeatedly prohibited human sacrifice, even making such practice a capital offense; but Jephthah the man who came of age on the streets where nothing is free and you live or die by your word; Jephthah could not back down.

He killed his own daughter.  And something in this great man changed.   Jephthah had long been a warrior, but something changed.  He became a harder, morally compromised, ruthless, and broken version of the hero he had been.

In chapter 12, a group from the powerful Ephraimite tribe of Israel crossed the Jordan and confronted Jephthah.  They insulted him and his clan.  They laid claim to the treasure the Jephthah had taken in battle, and they attacked.  Jephthah’s Gileadites won the battle, but for Jephthah victory was not enough.

He set up checkpoints along the Jordan River, and had his soldiers question every man trying to cross over to the Ephraimite side. 

And when any Ephraimite who escaped said, “Let me cross over,” the men of Gilead would say to him, “Are you an Ephraimite?” If he said, “No,” then they would say to him, “Then say, ‘Shibboleth’!”
And he would say, “Sibboleth,” for he could not pronounce it right. Then they would take him and kill him at the fords of the Jordan. (Judges 12: 5, 6)

Jephthah ordered the slaughter of anyone----armed, unarmed, fighting, or surrendered------anyone who even sounded like one of the people who had dared to insult him.

They killed 42,000 fellow Jews that day.  He killed more of his people than the people he had been protecting his people from.

Did it have to be that way?  Did Jephtah have to go so far?

No.  

But each of us, like Jephthah and Rick Grimes, are just a few moral compromises from going too far.  Each of us may be just one or just one more terrible, pointless human sacrifice away from becoming the villain we thought only other people were.

“We push ourselves and let things go. Then we let some more go and then some more. And pretty soon, there's things we can't get back. Things we couldn't hold on to even if we tried.”   
--- Bob Stookey, “The Walking Dead”

Stop and remember why you started fighting in the first place.  Remember what you were supposed to be building.  Remember how you were supposed to make it better. 

Don’t let that go.

Don’t let the means dictate the end.

Don’t let yourself become the villain.

And if you already have, contrary to what some characters say, you can go back.

That’s the chapter left for every lost hero or villain to write themselves:  Redemption.  And you don't play that scene alone.

“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.  (Isaiah 1: 18)

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com

You can help support this ministry with a donation to Miles Chapel CME Church.

You can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132
Fairfield, Al 35064


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

HELPING PEOPLE IS SO UNFAIR


As of yesterday, the Ebola virus outbreak in northern Africa had claimed over a thousand lives.  Two of the thousands infected were American health workers who were in Africa to help.  When they got sick they were flown back to the United States and treated at Emory Univesity Hospital in coordination with the Center for Disease Control (CDC) laboratories in Atlanta.  The experimental drugs used on those 2 Americans worked!  They got better.

That’s great news, except----the international community led the World Health Organization (WHO) has been telling Africans that going to a health care center in their home country will help them fight Ebola. Now the Africans see that the Americans didn’t stay at the health care center in Africa.  They left and got better.   

Africans are being told that they are receiving the best possible care for an incurable virus.  But, it sure sounds like the Americans got better care and a cure.  It’s not fair.

I don’t believe that there is a conspiracy.  I don’t think this is racism or elitism.  I think that it’s the constant dilemma for every full-time do-gooder like the World Health Organization (WHO), hospital, non-profits, ministries, and me.

Depending on how you look at it, doing good can look really bad.

The WHO doesn’t have enough of those experimental drugs to give to all the affected people in north Africa.  So, now they have to choose who gets the most promising treatment.  They could protect the health care workers who are there to help and deserve to be protected.  But what’ll it look like when the foreigners stay healthy while Africans get sicker and die?

Oh, and the drugs haven’t been fully tested.  Nobody knows it the treatments will work without side effect or if the drugs will kill every third person. 

What if it causes sterility or horrible birth defects?  What if it doesn’t work in the north African climate?  Will the people of Africa believe that it was an honest mistake, or will they decide that it’s another in the long line of real Western conspiracies to destroy and destabilize African nations?

The WHO and every other person and organization that’s out there doing good in the world must decide whether the help they can give right now will do more good or more harm.    But even when you use your very best judgment---- how do you predict how people will perceive your decision?

As for the last question, the answer is:  You can’t.

Depending on how you look at it, doing good can look really bad.

In John 11, Jesus raised his friend Lazarus from the dead.  Jesus performed that miracle in a graveyard full of other people’s dead friends, brothers, and loved ones.  Yet, Jesus only resurrected Lazarus.

Don’t you think some other grieving person thought that was unfair?

In Mark 5: 24-34, a huge crowd surrounded Jesus including all kinds of sick people .  One lady was instantly cured by touching the hem of Jesus’ garment. 

And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My clothes?”
But His disciples said to Him, “You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’ ” (Mark 5: 30-31

The disciples knew that a bunch of people were touching Jesus and His clothes.  But, only one of them got healed.

How unfair does that look?

Why her?  Why not me or my sick friend?

Our human resources are limited.  No matter how altruistic our hearts, we have to make difficult but firm decision about whom and how to help, which means deciding whom and how NOT to help. 

And no matter what you decide, no matter how wisely you judge, no matter how lovingly and unprejudicially you select--- you’re going to hurt somebody, and you’re going to piss somebody off.
Jesus spoke to that when He referenced the Old Testament outreach of the prophets Elijah an Elisha.

But I tell you truly, many widows were in Israel in the days of Elijah, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, and there was a great famine throughout all the land; but to none of them was Elijah sent except to Zarephath, in the region of Sidon, to a woman who was a widow.
And many lepers were in Israel in the time of Elisha the prophet, and none of them was cleansed except Naaman the Syrian.” (Luke 4: 25-27)

And Jesus audience (in church) responded like people respond today.
So all those in the synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath and rose up and thrust Him out of the city; and they led Him to the brow of the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw Him down over the cliff.  (Luke 4: 27, 28)

(Oh, and isn’t it interesting that one of the statements that made the worshippers mad enough to throw Jesus off a cliff was the story of a prophet going way over yonder to help a foreigner and single mother “while there are all these needs right here at home.”)

You won’t help everybody.  You CAN’T help everybody. 

That’s a fact, but not an excuse.

Jesus never said, “It isn’t time to heal every sickness so I’m not going heal any.”

If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?  Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. (James 2: 15-17)

Help everybody you can.

But, you can’t help everybody.  And, you won’t please everybody.

Don’t kill yourself inside over the limitations of your resources.  Increase your capacity as you can, but accept that no matter how much good you intend, no matter how much good you actually do---- it’ll look bad to somebody.

Do good anyway.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church (5220 Myron Massey Boulevard) in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com

You can help support this ministry with a donation to Miles Chapel CME Church.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to  
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132

Fairfield, Al 35064

Sunday, November 10, 2013

BAD JUDGMENT, GOOD JUDGMENT, & TRUE FRIENDS

The effectiveness of the church out there in the world is constantly hampered by our issues here inside the church, so the Bible says that the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God.  But Jesus also said, Judge not, that you be not judged.

How do we reconcile reconciling the apparent contradiction between the call to judgment and the call to grace?   The solution lies in a fresh understanding of  Biblical idea of friendship.

The message is called  BAD JUDGMENT, GOOD JUDGMENT, & TRUE FRIENDS.

Listen well.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer, and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church and the executive director of SAYNO (Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization) in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email
atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at
www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

Monday, June 17, 2013

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 31: 1. "Mama Said."

Proverbs 31: 1     The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:
2     What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows?
3     Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.

Proverbs 31: 1-3.  The last chapter of Proverbs recounts the words of a king named Lemuel and the words of Lemuel’s mother.  It’s unclear though who Lemeul and his mom were.

The name Lemuel means “for God” or “belonging to God.”  That might have been one of Solomon’s nicknames, which would make Bathsheba the mother King Lemuel quotes in this passage.    Or, perhaps Lemuel was another name for Rehoboam, Solomon’s son and successor. King Rehoboam’s mother was an Ammonite named Naamah.

Though their advice makes it into the annals of Biblcal wisdom, neither of these ladies was the stereotypically perfect mother.

Mother Bathsheba had gotten her 1st husband killed because she was messing around with  David, the rich guy in the big house across the street, while her husband was deployed to a combat zone (2 Samuel 11). 

Mama Naamah was one of a thousand women Solomon had had (literally 1,000, 1 Kings 11: 3).  Somehow she’d worked her way into the number 1 spot and corrupted her “good man” with her pagan ways.

For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David.   For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. (1 Kings 11: 4, 5)

Whether Bathsheba or Namaah, the mother of Proverbs 31 has a pretty scandalous backstory.   So, the advice in Proverbs 31, especially the opening warning is more than a little ironic.

Mama said, “Don’t waste your energy chasing women.  Women will mess up a successful man.”

Sisters, as a man and a son let me explain something to you.  When you tell your baby boy, “You can’t trust no woman,”  the first woman that your son looks at suspiciously-------- is you.

You can’t tell a male human being that it’s O.K. for him to live with you forever and never fully commit to another woman AND simultaneously complain about his daddy being immature and not fulfilling responsibilities to you.   The two can’t both be correct.  It makes YOU sound suspect.

Despite her past, Lemuel’s mother understood this.  So though Proverbs 31 begins with a warning about women, the rest of the chapter elaborates on that advice and makes it clear that not all women are bad.  It’s just bad women who are bad.

Mama not only teaches her little prince to be careful about women, she also teaches him how to recognize a good woman.  This means that even though she was not herself a perfect woman, even though she knew that at any point she might be  the baddest of 1,000 bad girls, though she and her husband had done major wrong in the course of their relationship----- King Lemuel’s mother still taught her son that, “Yes, baby, there are good women out there.”

Any mother who teaches her little prince about the bad of other women without also teaching him the good has herself become one of those women who helps destroy a potential king.

A son is supposed to leave his mother one day.  A son is SUPPOSED TO find a woman, a good woman, whose love becomes MORE important than his mother’s.  

Therefore a man SHALL leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2: 24)

SHALL LEAVE.  “Should leave.”   IS SUPPOSED TO GROW THE CRAP UP AND LEAVE!

He can either be God’s man or mama’s little boy.  He cannot be both.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email
atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at
www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

Proverbs 31: 1. "Mama Said."

Proverbs 31: 1     The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:
2     What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows?
3     Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.

Proverbs 31: 1-3.  The last chapter of Proverbs recounts the words of a king named Lemuel and the words of Lemuel’s mother.  It’s unclear though who Lemeul and his mom were.

The name Lemuel means “for God” or “belonging to God.”  That might have been one of Solomon’s nicknames, which would make Bathsheba the mother King Lemuel quotes in this passage.    Or, perhaps Lemuel was another name for Rehoboam, Solomon’s son and successor. King Rehoboam’s mother was an Ammonite named Naamah.

Though their advice makes it into the annals of Biblcal wisdom, neither of these ladies was the stereotypically perfect mother.

Mother Bathsheba had gotten her 1st husband killed because she was messing around with  David, the rich guy in the big house across the street, while her husband was deployed to a combat zone (2 Samuel 11). 

Mama Naamah was one of a thousand women Solomon had had (literally 1,000, 1 Kings 11: 3).  Somehow she’d worked her way into the number 1 spot and corrupted her “good man” with her pagan ways.

For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David.   For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. (1 Kings 11: 4, 5)

Whether Bathsheba or Namaah, the mother of Proverbs 31 has a pretty scandalous backstory.   So, the advice in Proverbs 31, especially the opening warning is more than a little ironic.

Mama said, “Don’t waste your energy chasing women.  Women will mess up a successful man.”

Sisters, as a man and a son let me explain something to you.  When you tell your baby boy, “You can’t trust no woman,”  the first woman that your son looks at suspiciously-------- is you.

You can’t tell a male human being that it’s O.K. for him to live with you forever and never fully commit to another woman AND simultaneously complain about his daddy being immature and not fulfilling responsibilities to you.   The two can’t both be correct.  It makes YOU sound suspect.

Despite her past, Lemuel’s mother understood this.  So though Proverbs 31 begins with a warning about women, the rest of the chapter elaborates on that advice and makes it clear that not all women are bad.  It’s just bad women who are bad.

Mama not only teaches her little prince to be careful about women, she also teaches him how to recognize a good woman.  This means that even though she was not herself a perfect woman, even though she knew that at any point she might be  the baddest of 1,000 bad girls, though she and her husband had done major wrong in the course of their relationship----- King Lemuel’s mother still taught her son that, “Yes, baby, there are good women out there.”

Any mother who teaches her little prince about the bad of other women without also teaching him the good has herself become one of those women who helps destroy a potential king.

A son is supposed to leave his mother one day.  A son is SUPPOSED TO find a woman, a good woman, whose love becomes MORE important than his mother’s.  

Therefore a man SHALL leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2: 24)

SHALL LEAVE.  “Should leave.”   IS SUPPOSED TO GROW THE CRAP UP AND LEAVE!

He can either be God’s man or mama’s little boy.  He cannot be both.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

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