MY TWO SALVATIONS

When they crucified Jesus, the  Romans placed Him between two thieves.  Each of those thieves asked Jesus to save him.  The Lord only saved one. 

I’ve been both of those thieves.

When I was 21, I was sitting on the top back step of an upstairs-downstairs duplex trying to figure out how to get the huge metal desk my father had given me out the back door and down the steps without dropping it, falling, or being crushed to death by it.  My roommate and I couldn’t take the desk down the much wider front steps  because we were breaking our lease and sneaking out of the apartment.

My life was a mess. 

I’d dropped out of school, lost both of my full scholarships, completely screwed up all of the important relationships in my life, and now I was a fugitive from a ghetto landlord, and there was a giant grey desk jammed into the kitchen doorway behind me.

I plopped down on the steps and prayed.  I asked God to forgive me for my sins.  I asked Jesus to be my Savior.

Nothing happened.

I don’t just mean that there was no spectacularly miraculous or emotional display.  I mean nothing happened inside me.

I was not convicted of sin.  I did not feel the assurance of salvation.  It was not the beginning of a new life.  My heart was not strangely warmed.  No new birth.  No regeneration.  I…I know I was not changed.

I had prayed the sinner’s prayer, but I wasn’t  saved.

For a few minutes I sat, waiting.  Then I abandoned the desk and stuffed the rest of our stuff into my car.  The landlord caught us pulling out of the driveway. (Our downstairs neighbor had snitched.)    I lied.  We left, and I kept right on sinning the sinful sins I had sinned before.

I was still the first thief.

The first thief on the cross next to Jesus cried out, “If You are the Christ, save Yourself and us.”  (Luke 23: 39)  

He didn’t regret his actions; he regretted the consequences. He didn't believe Jesus was the Messiah, but he thought it was worth a shot.

But, the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

God knew that what I wanted on those steps was a rescue not a relationship. God knew I wasn’t humbled.  I was hustling like a thief trying to escape execution.

About a year later I was engaged and a few months out from the wedding. I had tried “getting myself together” but I felt myself falling apart.  Around 2 A.M., alone on the 3^rd shift at a convenience store off I-85, I locked the doors, fell on my knees between the snack food aisles in front of the beer cooler and gave my life to Christ. I confessed everything.  I surrendered everything.  I submitted to whatever God wanted me to do, go through, or become. 

I’ve never cried so hard in my life. 

I was absolutely broken.  I was whole for the first time. And I have never been the same.   That night Jesus saved my soul like He’d saved the other thief crucified next to Him.

The thief on the other cross rebuked his friend and said, “Do you not even fear God, seeing you are under the same condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said to Jesus, “Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.” (Luke 23:40-42)

His prayer wasn’t very well constructed.  It missed several  crucial theological benchmarks. Dude didn’t even say, “Amen.” 

But the Lord looked at his heart, and Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:43)

On the floor of that gas station, God looked at my heart and assured me that I would be with Him in Paradise.

A personal relationship with Jesus is a relationship between your spirit and the Holy Spirit, a heart-to-heart connection between you and God.  If you give the sound of your words to Jesus but not your heart, you’re stuck on the steps, hanging on the first thief’s cross, still doomed. 

You can fool me, your mama, and the entire church, but you can’t hide your heart from God.

The flip-side is that you don’t have to get yourself together.  You don’t have to memorize an eloquent liturgy of repentance.  You don’t have to speak in tongues or first give a sacrificial seed-offering.  You don’t have to be in the right place nor do you have to wait for the right time.

All you have to be is sincere. You just have to be honest with God and yourself.  You just have to let go, and let Him.

Jesus knows your heart, and He still wants you for Himself.

He received a condemned thief.  He received me.  He’ll receive you. 

Give your heart to Him.

For real.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com

Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves 

You can help support this ministry with a donation to Miles Chapel CME Church.

You can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 

Miles Chapel CME Church

P O Box 132

Fairfield, Al 35064

TAKING IT TOO FAR

The prophetic book of Zechariah opens with God telling His people in Judah that, The Lord has been very angry with your fathers. (Zechariah 1: 2)

Judah had violated His covenant and God had used the armies of surrounding pagan nations to punish them for their sins, but when God talked about the pagan instruments of His judgment, the Lord said: I am exceedingly angry with the nations at ease; For I was a little angry, And they helped—but with evil intent.” (Zechariah 1: 15)     

The NLV paraphrase puts it more plainly.

I am very angry with the other nations that are now enjoying peace and security. I was only a little angry with my people, but the nations inflicted harm on them far beyond my intentions

  

It was God's will for the nations to to check Judah for their sins, but then they took it too far.

In the book of Isaiah, God used Assyria to punish Israel-Samaria, but then Assyria began to say“By the strength of my hand I have done it, And by my wisdom, for I am prudent; Also I have removed the boundaries of the people, And have robbed their treasuries; So I have put down the inhabitants like a valiant man.

My hand has found like a nest the riches of the people, And as one gathers eggs that are left, I have gathered all the earth; And there was no one who moved his wing, Nor opened his mouth with even a peep.”

Sometimes it is our legitimate, God-given role to deliver a chin-checking message.  But that role is only for God's time, for God's purpose, and within the limits that God has set.  When we start punishing, avenging, and making people pay or our own reasons, or because we think we’re so much better than they are, then we, like Assyria and the other nations, have taken our role too far.

Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Lord has performed all His work on Mount Zion and on Jerusalem, that He will say, “I will punish the fruit of the arrogant heart of the king of Assyria, and the glory of his haughty looks.” (Isaiah 10: 12)

We’re supposed to Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. (2 Timothy 4:2)

We are supposed to encourage Biblical standards of behavior.  There are even specific conditions in which after repeated attempts to reconcile relationships and deliver a brother/ sister from sin, the church can and should remove someone from fellowship.

But,  we can take it too far.

When we use our authority to punish for the sake of punishment rather than as part of a plan for reconciliation, we take it too far.

This punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, so that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow.  Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him (2 Corinthians 2:6-8)

When we speak or act as if we have the authority to assign someone’s eternal status, we reach into God’s personal jurisdiction.  We’ve taken it too far.

Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand. (Romans 14:4)

When we require certain styles and preferences (or changes in style and preference) as conditions of fellowship, we take it too far.

Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. …One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. (Romans 14: 3,5)

We should be wise and well-versed in the times, but when we change the Truth of God’s Word to impress people and increase popularity, we take it too far.

For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness, the ones who have actually escaped from those who live in error. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage. (2 Peter 2: 18, 19)

When we go beyond calling out sin and decide it’s our job to hurt sinners, to make them pay, to force Christ or the appearance of Christianity on others, we have gone beyond evangelizing.  We’ve taken it too far.

And as Jesus and the disciples went, they entered a village of the Samaritans, to prepare for Jesus. But they did not receive Him…and when His disciples James and John saw this, they said, “Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them, just as Elijah did?”

But Jesus turned and rebuked them, and said, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” And they went to another village. (Luke 9: 52-56)

My job and yours as disciples of Jesus is to deliver the Word, not to deliver final judgment. 

Our job is to speak the truth into many ears, not to cut off the ears of those who won’t listen (John 18: 10-11).

We cannot speak the truth without offending some people, hurting somebody’s feelings, and flat out pissing off a bunch of folks---- outside of Christianity and in the church.  

Offenses must come.  They were offended at Jesus.   We have to speak the Truth, but we must never set out to hurt people. At the same time, we have to accept that people will set out to hurt us because we speak, live, and represent the Truth.  We must not do the same back to them.

The Bible clearly states that it is better for us to accept suffering than to cause it.

But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” Sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed.  

For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. (1 Peter 3:14-17)

People will stumble at the name of Jesus, but we have not been commanded to beat them down in His name.

When you take punishment, judgment, and vengeance into your own hands, many Christians will applaud you, you will feel powerful and justified, you will experience a kind of primal satisfaction at fighting back.  And when that happens, you have just taken it too far.

When we take it too far, we stop being God’s servants and we present ourselves as rivals for His status as Judge of all men.  That's over-reaching with the whole child of God, live and reign with Jesus thing.   I'm telling you, you don’t want to relate to God on that level.  God has thrown down archangels and Babylonian emperors for doing that.  

When God's servants take it too far, God then has to check His servants.

Shall the ax boast itself against him who chops with it?

Or shall the saw exalt itself against him who saws with it?

As if a rod could wield itself against those who lift it up,

Or as if a staff could lift up, as if it were not wood!  (Isaiah 10: 15)

By the grace of God, I will never back off from defending God's Word.  I pray  that I will have the strength to answer plainly in those times when the answer is plain and say, "Yes.  That's wrong." When my choices are (a) give in to the cultural and legal pressure to endorse what God has condemned or (b) suffer for standing on the Word to which I was called,   I pray that God will have His way so mightily that I can rejoice in my suffering.

And, I pray that when I am angry (and I get like that sometimes), when I know that I'm saying is accurately what God said, and I have the sword in my hand, that instead of cutting of the sinner's ear, I will sheath it and stand with Jesus, and trust that if it needs to go any farther, Jesus will take it there.

I will stay in my lane. 

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com

Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

You can help support this ministry with a donation to Miles Chapel CME Church.

You can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 

Miles Chapel CME Church

P O Box 132

Fairfield, Al 35064

HONEST LOVE

The calling of the disciple Levi brought together the most hated, most respected, most sinful, and most religious people in the nation all under one roof for one meal and a lesson for us.

As we continue through the formative moments of the original church, we look at the calling of a tax collector and in a message that touches on this moment in our nation, in the church, and in our personal spiritual lives.

The message is called: HONEST LOVE.

(Quick confession:  Near the end of the sermon I reference the work of Harriet Tubman  but I call her Sojourner Truth.  I do know better.)

Listen well.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer, and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church and the executive director of SAYNO (Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization) in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to:
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 29: 16 "Bring Bad Back"

Proverbs 29: 16     When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increases; but the righteous will see their fall.

The more bad people there are, the more bad things will happen.  It’s not a complicated equation, but it’s a formula that we regularly deny. 

People open their mouths and list the many wrong, just plain inexcusably wrong things they’ve done and are still involved in doing.  Then those people say with the same mouths, “But I’m a good person.”  And we all nod our agreement.

We all see that there is increasing evil performed.  How then can it be that nobody (at least nobody who looks like us or is liked by us) is a bad person? 

The sums don’t match.

O.K., look at it like this.  What’s sin?

Sin means doing bad things on purpose

What do you call somebody who sins?

A sinner?  That’s right.

So, what is a “sinner”?

A sinner is somebody who does bad things on purpose.

So if they, or you, or I purposely do things which God says are bad to do, then the things we do are......?  Sins.

And doing them means that we’re........?    That’s right.  SIN-NERS.

But in a world where everybody’s “a good person,” nobody can be a sinner.  If I’m not a sinner but I still do these things that I do, then the things that I do cannot really be sins, because if the things I do were really sins then I’d be a sinner.  But I’m not a sinner.  How can I be a sinner when “I’m a good person”?

Now, here’s why messing up the formula is a problem:  

The Bible compels sinners to repent and stop sinning.  If I’m not a sinner, if I’m already a good person, then I don’t need to repent.  I can read the Bible, sing about the Bible, preach from the Bible, and call on the God of the Bible to fulfill the promises of the Bible, but as far as my actual personal behavior------------- I don’t need to change a thing.  

And that’s how we end up with a world where more bad is being done, but nobody’s a bad person.

We have created a world of bad things done by bad people who call ourselves good persons.

And the whole situation is just so, so, very, very TIRED.

Malachi 2: ¹⁷     You have wearied the Lord with your words. “Yet you say, “In what way have we wearied Him?”

In that you say, “Everyone who does evil isgood in the sight of the Lord, and He delights in them,” or, “Where is the God of justice?”

It is an unsustainable situation, and the saddest part is that every time we reject the reality of our sin we also reject the reality of God’s redemption.

In John chapter 8, when Jesus delivered an adulterous woman from a hypocritical crowd, He sent her away with the words, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” (John 8: 11).

Today, that woman might have turned to Jesus and replied, “Sin?  You calling me a sinner?  I ain’t no sinner!  Yeah, I slept with a married man, but that married man also slept with me.  I don’t see nobody dragging him into the temple early in the morning and talkin’ about stoning him.  I may not be all righteous like you, Mr. Jesus Christ from Nazareth, but I know this much:  I’M A GOOD PERSON.” 

The reason why there is so much bad in the world is because there are so many of us being bad people.  The beauty of the formula is that the moment we accept and confess our badness to God is the exact moment that the redemptive work of Jesus can transform from a bad person into an actual good person.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 

That’s how we win-----not through some imaginary rule or tool that will make all the bad stop, but by bringing people to Christ to be transformed from bad to good.  But to start that process we have to bring bad back.  We have to reintroduce the terms sin and sinner as realities and as negatives. 

Some feelings will be hurt.  Some egos will be scuffed. 

But if we don’t honestly see that we honestly are not good people, then we never will be.

---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order.

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116