For the sister whose husband works too
much: Listen to a man praise his wife as the most
important thing in the world.
And Adam said: “This is now bone of my
bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman because she
was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2: 24)
See how Adam praised his wife. He affirmed their
relationship as unique. He declared that from now on her name would
include his name because no one and no thing in their whole perfect world means
as much to him as she does.
Neither Adam nor Eve had biological parents, so verse 24
isn't commentary. It's prophesy. Therefore a man shall
leave his father and mother and be joined his wife, and they shall
become one flesh. (Genesis 2: 24)
God intended for husbands to give uniquely focused attention
to their wives, attention that deliberately excludes everybody else, even your
daddy and your mama.
So what's up with your godly man? How do
you get him to fulfill his prophetic role of paying attention to
you? You want some of that Genesis 2 love, don't you?
Let me help you, girl.
For women, attention is a sign of affection, and indication
of genuine
love. For men, attention is a result of shared
purpose and camaraderie.
Your man, his clients, and colleagues work on the same projects,
fighting the same obstacles, and
impacting each others' ambitions. That why he gives them his attention.
Good men are conditioned to respond negatively to people who
try to distract them from their purpose. That's why he sometimes gets angry
when you ask for more of his time. His inner Adam tells him that
he's supposed to tend the garden and name the animals, or whatever God has
called him to do; and he interprets your need for attention as an attempt to
move him off-task.
You and he share a unique relationship, a special love. Like
no one and no thing else in the whole world, you have his heart. But to get his attention, you have to share
his purpose.
Which is how God intended it. He designed the husband-wife relationship not
primarily around romance but around shared purpose.
…In the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and
multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion… (Genesis 1: 27, 28)
Our human purpose is to be productive and to multiply until
the image of God has dominion over all the earth.
For a while in Genesis 2, Adam pursued that purpose all by
himself. Adam had a set of Divine rules
and two jobs well before he knew what a wife was. He was a good man,
a man who embraced his purpose and its work.
Still, the Lord said, “It is not good that man should be
alone” (Genesis 2: 18). Not good because God didn't just want a man
who pursues his purpose. God wanted a family that pursues their
purpose, and so God declared, "I will make him a helper comparable to
him.”
God didn't create Eve to ease Adam's loneliness. God
created Eve to share Adam's purpose. No. God created Eve to share in purpose with
Adam. The man of the family should lead the in fulfilling the family's purpose, but that purpose doesn't originate from the man. Purpose comes from God.
Sisters, if you want your man's attention, be the one he can
share his passion with. Be the sounding board for his ideas. Working
together, articulate your mission as a family.
Be his partner in that
As his partner you can remind him that regular rest is also
part of God's ordained purpose. As his co-laborer in Divine purpose
you can say, "WE need some time away from the work. Let's (Let
us) get away for a few hours or a few days." As his partner in
purpose, you can even help him schedule a romance Sabbath, when you decompress
together. You know: date night.
Adam recognized that he and Eve had had both been blessed
with the same purpose. She "got him." This is now
bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
Therefore: because she is one with me in
my work, I prophetically declare that I will give her my full and
unique attention.
Therefore, because she is my partner in purpose I know that
she knows what I'm going through. I can
share anything with her. "And they were both naked, the man and his wife,
and were not ashamed." (Genesis 2: 25)
As it was in the beginning, so it is now.
Share his purpose, and you'll have his attention.
---Anderson T. Graves II is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
---Anderson T. Graves II is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in
Fairfield, Alabama; executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth
Networking Organization (SAYNO);
and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for
Human Development (NIHD).
Subscribe to my personal blog www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
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