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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Proverbs 30: 17. "Your Parents Through Your Eyes"

Proverbs 30: 17     The eye that mocks his father, and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.

Proverbs 30: 17.  Jesus said, “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness..” (Matthew 6: 22, 23a)

In other words, “It all depends on how you look at it.”

Your perspective-----the way you look at what you’re doing and what has been done to you-----helps decide whether you begin your journey full of light or full of darkness. 

When I was an English teacher at Capitol Height Jr. High School, I started the year with my students seated in alphabetical order.  One kid, a skinny, self-avowed thug regularly skipped school.  He never did homework. He never brought a book or paper to class. He was disruptive and disrespectful.  I called his parents every day that he was in class, but they were more frustrated and desperate for a solution than I was.

The young man in front of him was exactly the opposite.  He was a chubby, geeky, honor student.  He was quiet, polite, and focused.  He and his best friend, a little Asian kid, drew manga comics and designed video games as a hobby and sometimes for extra credit.

We were halfway through the first semester when I realized that the thug and the honor student were brothers.  Not stepbrothers.  Not half-brothers.  Brother brothers.  They both lived in the same 2-parent, working class home.  They shared a room.

Most of the kids in the class didn’t know they were brothers even though some of them had been classmates since 3rd grade.  The boys didn’t mention it because each of them was ashamed of the other.

One brother saw their parents and their home as a place of light.  The restrictions and imperfections encouraged him to learn and to succeed in every positive way available.

The other brother saw their family through eyes full of darkness.  His parents were “lame.”  Their marriage was “lame.”  Good grades were “lame.” School was “lame.”  Only the guys in the streets were real.

The thug brother was actually older, but he’d failed so many times that he ended up in the same class as his “good” little brother.  He didn’t pass that year either.

Your perspective on your parents is crucial.

Even if your parents failed you, your perspective on them matters.  You cannot go back and change their dysfunction, addiction, abuse, neglect, absence, immaturity, incarceration, or incompetence.  But you can decide whether or not it poisons your mindset.  

You can determine that daddy’s and mama’s sins will be a lesson in how not to live and a motivation for you to break the cycle.  You can look at your parents and fill your eyes with light.

Or, you can choose to see their failures as a precursor to your own.  You can repeat the lie that, “I’ll never be anything, either.” You can look at your parents and fill your eyes with darkness.  But you don’t have to.

They’re YOUR eyes.  It’s your mind and your mindset.  You choose, but be careful.

Jesus went on to say, “If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6: 23b)

The last half of Proverbs 30: 17, warns that a dark-filled eye will become prey for ravens and young eagles.  The word here for eagles can also refer to vultures.  The point is that filling your eyes with darkness will turn you into food for scavengers. 

Living your life filled with hate for your parents and empty of hope because of them------ will kill you.

Don’t let the darkness destroy you.

Where there was right, remember it.  Where there was wrong, forgive. 

Where they were wise, respect them.  Where they were foolish, forgive.

Where they spoke life, receive it.  Where they spoke death, decline it.

Choose your perspective.

Be filled with light.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

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