A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 26: 20 (The 3rd Kid)

Proverbs 26: 20     Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.

Proverbs 26:20. Every time.  Ev-er-y time as a school administrator I deal with a fight or major argument between 2 kids I end up dealing with a 3^rd kid. 

The 3^rd kid didn’t throw a punch/ didn’t participate in the argument.  He/she might not have even been present for the conflict.  “All” the 3^rd kid did was tell Kid A what he/she heard that Kid B said he/she thought about Kid A--- and vice versa.
The 3^rd kid rarely comes out and tells anybody to go confront anybody else.  The 3^rd kid just passes along hearsay, opinions, and a bit of editorial.

Removing the 3^rd kid from the equation doesn’t change the fact that Kid A thinks Kid B is stank, nor does it alter Kid B’s opinion that Kid A’s boy/girlfriend could do better.

But, remove the 3^rd kid and the other 2 manage to breathe the same air without trying to murder one another.  In other words---- There is peace.

(Peace does not require friendship.)

This phenomenon is just as true for adults. 

Check your sources.

Are you continually getting into conflicts because people keep talking behind your back?   Think:  How do you know what they supposedly said if they’ve only said it behind your back?   Who’s behind your back, running up in your face with information?

Remove the 3^rd kid from your space for a few months and see if there isn’t a decrease in the  level of drama in your life.

Check your calendar.

Do your spouse & you always get into an argument the day after you and a certain friend hang out?

Is there somebody who “helps you out” by showing you how you aren’t really happy and your husband/wife isn’t really as good to you as you thought they were?

Remove the 3^rd kid from your space for a few months.  Then compare the level of peace and harmony in your home without them to what is was with them around.

Check yourself.

Are all your friends from 2 years ago now enemies with one another? Can you write down a long list of formerly married friends whom you advised on their relationships?   When Person A shares their personal opinion about Person B do you immediately want to tell/text Person B what you heard?

Remove yourself from other folks’ business and relationships.  Take a few months to mind your own business, and then take a few more to leave other folks business alone.

See if they don’t find greater peace.  Maybe you will, too.

----- Anderson T. Graves II

 

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577

Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com

Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order made out to: Hall Memorial CME Church

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church

541 Seibles Rd.,

Montgomery, AL 36116

WHY YA'LL SO SCARED ALL THE TIME? (Inspired by my spiritual sister)

Sir Isaac Newton said, “If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”

If have been more blessed than the man who explained gravity for   I have walked in the company of giants.  I have studied with great men and great women.  I have sat in classrooms where genius was writing in a seat next to mine.  I went to Alabama State University.

Last night I heard a member of my own ASU freshmen class of 1989 preach.  Rev. Dr. Wendy Coleman delivered a Word with song so spiritually deep that it brought silence to a BLACK CHURCH!  All we could do for a moment was just weep wave our hands.  Wendy taught us and challenged us.  She walked us through (literally WALKED down the aisle with a bowl of fruit) God’s message of Peace & Fruitfulness.  And like all master teachers, she provoked deeper thought and study, extending the lesson beyond her words. 

Which is how I found myself waking to re-examine Mark 4: 40.

[After calming a storm on the sea, Jesus] said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?”   

Why are you so fearful?

In the Book of Matthew, the word “fearful” is not the same as the word “afraid.”  Afraid is translated from the word phobeo, which refers to an act, moment, or emotion.  Fearfulis the translation of the word deilos, which refers more to a personality trait or a persistent state of being.

In Mark 4: 40, Jesus’ 1^st question to His disciples could well be translated,  “Why ya’ll so scared all the doggone time?”

The greatest obstacle to walking in powerful, mountain-moving faith is not the onset of crises.  The chief enemy of greatness is not the momentary rise of difficult obstacles, the sudden appearance of ruthless opposition, nor the unforeseen occurrence of heart-breaking disappointment.  No, the chief enemy of greatness is BEING SCARED ALL THE DOGGONE TIME.

We’re afraid that the words aren’t quite right.  We’re afraid that we’re not quite pretty enough yet.  We’re afraid they won’t like us.  We’re afraid she’ll/ he’ll say something mean about it.  And when there’s nothing else to be afraid of, we’re afraid that it’s too easy.

Why you so scared all the doggone time?

Fear has 2 antidotes.  One is FAITH (Mark 4:40; Hebrews 11: 27; Revelations 2: 10).  

Hebrews 11:27 By faith [Noah] forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured as seeing Him who is invisible. 

Revelations 2:10 Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life. 

The other antidote to fear is LOVE. (2 Timothy 1: 7)

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 

Why do you fail to live in the greatness you know is in you? 

You scared.

Why don’t you walk in the promises God has made to you? 

You scared.

You’re always afraid.

But, it’s O.K., now.

Now you have the cure for your fear.

LOVE.  Love God.  Love people.  Love even yourself.  Love as you once feared, not just as a moment of emotion, but as a way of life.

HAVE FAITH--- not just as an emotional I-believe-I-can-fly moment in church, but have faith and live faith/ faithfully to God’s Word.  Daily and continuously hold to God’s Commands and Promises as TRUTH and as FACT.

See the greatness around you.  Draw inspiration and strength from the struggles and the achievements of the geniuses and giants who walk the Earth today.

Love.  Believe.  

Don’t be scurred.

----- Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577

Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order made out to: Hall Memorial CME Church

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Rd.,
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 26: 18 (Terrorism)

Proverbs 26: 18     Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death, 19     is the man who deceives his neighbor, and says, “I was only joking!”

Proverbs 26:18. The Bible doesn’t really take a firm stand on practical jokes.  That’s something you and your friends have to figure out between you.   However, the Word does make clear that certain stuff isn’t funny.

If you spread gossip/ lies, it’s not a joke; it’s a sin.  If you make Dude A think that Dude B is going to attack him, steal his lady, or sabotage his career just cause you think it’ll be funny when Dude A & Dude B get into it; that junk ain’t funny.  That’s sin.  

In fact, God says that’s CRAZY SIN. 

God’s Word describes you as a crazy person firing weapons of mass destruction into the crowd just to see how much damage you can do.    

Basically, if you start mess just for the entertainment value, you are a TERRORIST in God’s eyes.  

How far do you think a King will go to defend His nation against terrorism?   What about a King with unlimited power and absolute knowledge?

Examine your life for gossip and deception because you don’t wanna be on GOD’S terrorism watchlist.

----- Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order made out to: Hall Memorial CME Church

Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Rd.,
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 26: 17

Proverbs 26: 17     He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears.

Proverbs 26:17.  My boss was out a couple of days because he got bitten by a dog--- his own dog.

He blames himself.

The dog had been rescued from a shelter.  She  came into his home with a fear of machines that make loud noises---- machines like the leaf-blower he turned on in the yard without having first put the dog in her pen.

He cranked up the leaf-blower and the dog attacked it.  When he snatched the leaf blower away and raised it up out of her reach the agitated pit bull perceived his posture as a threat and bit him.

Blame the dog or blame the owner --- he still got bitten.

When two parties in conflict invite or accept your help in resolving their disagreement you can perform an important Christian service.  “Blessed are the peacemakers….” (Matthew 5:9)

But---

If you insert yourself into an argument that doesn’t involve you, and you don’t get permission from BOTH parties to stand between them, then you are waving a leaf-blower between 2 angry pit bulls.  It’s quite likely that someone’s going to hurt you ---- hurt your feelings, attack your character, and /or cause you literal, physical harm.

Blame yourself or blame them for not recognizing that you were only trying to help.  You still get bitten.

There may be times when the urgency of the situation or the imminent possibility of harm compels you to get involved. 

You gotta do what you gotta do.

Just understand up front that the principle of Proverbs 26:17 still applies.  Even when you really just wanna help, you’re still grabbing the dog by the ears.

Know the risk.  Pray.  Choose wisely.

----- Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order made out to: Hall Memorial CME Church

Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Rd.,
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 26: 16

Proverbs 26: 16     The lazy man is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can answer sensibly.

Proverbs 26: 16.  As an educator and a pastor I’ve sat down with family’s dealing with suicide, divorce, foreclosure, and homelessness.  I’ve had parent conference in which I had to keep the kid from jumping on his mama or pull the dad off his kid.  I’ve been in the middle of ever kind of dysfunction & family tragedy you can imagine.

Of all those, the saddest sit-down I ever had was with a mother and her daughter whom I was “sending off” to a disciplinary program.   The mother didn’t contest anything in her daughter’s thick, thiiiick discipline folder, which surprised me because this lady’d cussed me out on several previous occasions.  The child didn’t complain that she was innocent or being singled out, which also surprised me because she usually lied to me at least twice a day.  Frankly, the whole conference was proceeding with remarkable cordiality.  

As we were closing, I asked the mother to verify her contact information.

 "Home address?"

Same.

"Cell number?"

She gave it to me.

"Work number?"

Pause.
Mother looked at daughter.  Daughter looked at mother.  Both burst out laughing.

Mom:  Work?  Man, I don’t work.   You work so I don’t have to.

Not, “My husband works so I don’t have to.”

Not, “My parents worked so I didn’t have to.”
Not, “I have a disability so I shouldn’t have to work.”
 But, “You work so I don’t have to.”

 She thought it was clever.  I thought it was the saddest thing I’d ever heard, because I recognized the look on her daughter’s face.  It was the look of a student who’d just heard something from her teacher---- something she would remember and apply for the rest of her life.

 This mom turned her child into a human being who sees all other human beings not as people but as targets for exploitation. 

 In comic books villains are created when someone makes a deliberate decision to do evil things because it is evil.  In real life the formula for creating bad people is simpler---- and scarier.  

People become monsters when they simply decide, “I am going to have everything I want, and I’m not going to work for any of it.”

----- Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577

Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com

Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order made out to: Hall Memorial CME Church

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church

541 Seibles Rd.,

Montgomery, AL 36116

UPDATE YOUR STATUS (WITH JESUS)

The message is called UPDATE YOUR STATUS.

Listen well.

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Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com   
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves  

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order made  out to: Hall Memorial CME Church

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Rd.,
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 26: 15

Proverbs 26: 15     The lazy man buries his hand in the bowl; it wearies him to bring it back to his mouth.

Proverbs 26: 15.  When my children were infants, I spoon-fed them.  I’d stir the baby food to make sure the temperature was uniform throughout and pull the little baby spoon through the top layer of mush.  I’d wipe the bottom of the spoon on the lip of the jar and make faces at my baby so she’d/ he’d open wide.  Spoon in. Lift. Slide out. Catch drool. Repeat.

I did this because they were helpless infants.  When my grandfather, the original Anderson Graves, was sick from a series of strokes and unable to take care of himself,  I spoon-fed him, too.

Grandpa’s moved on, and my youngest is 9.   I don’t spoon-feed anymore. 

We’ve gotten home late from a game and my daughter’s been so tired & sleepy that when we sit down to eat, she’s too exhausted to lift her own fork.

I’ll say, “You must wanna sleep more than you wanna eat,” and I’ll let her leave the table and go to bed.

I love my kids, and I set food before them, but if they won’t lift the food to their faces, they don’t’ eat.

I love them, but I don’t spoon-feed them anymore.

The moment you’re in may be new and scary for you, but you’re not a baby anymore. Ask what you need to know.  Listen and learn what you need to do.  Seek the resource, acquire the skills, connect with the people who understand your situation.  But don’t sit around waiting for Jesus to personally ride in on a white horse and rescue you.  (When that happens it’ll be too late to deal with your stuff anyway.)

Your Heavenly Father places opportunities and resources before you, but the season of spoon-feeding is over.

You may be weary, worn, and sad.  You may be genuinely wounded by life.  You may just wanna sit down and do nothing.  I understand, but that means that you wanna sleep more than you wanna succeed.

Your hurt doesn’t make you helpless.  Get support.  Accept help.  Share your burden.  But, you have to do what you need to get done. 

Your Father in Heaven loves you.  He is with you, always there with you.  He  protects you.  He empowers you.  He guides you.  He provides for you. 

But you’re grown now.  Nobody, not even Jesus is gonna spoon-feed you anymore.

----- Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order made out to: Hall Memorial CME Church

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Rd.,
Montgomery, AL 36116