A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 29: 21. "Servants & Sons"

Proverbs 29: 21     He who pampers his servant from childhood will have him as a son in the end.

Proverbs 29:21.  Solomon was fair and just.  He was that rare leader who could negotiate with monarchs or arbitrate between two hookers with the equal attentiveness and respect.  But, Solomon was also the elite of the elite.  He was the top of the top 1%.  

Solomon had been born in the palace, the son of the king. But Solomon’s father, David, had been a a working class shepherd and soldier who’d risen from carrying other soldiers’ armor to leading the entire army.  Solomon appreciated the importance of upward mobility.

Solomon enjoyed the lifestyle of the rich and famous.  Yet, he also understood that he had not earned his position as king.  It had been given to him by God, and if not for the grace of God, he would not have been able to hold onto it, let alone prosper in it. 

Solomon understood money, and he valued labor.  He was an elite class leader with working class sensibilities.

So, when Solomon talks about a servant rising to the status of a son, you have to wonder:  Was this a warning, or was it encouragement?

As a warning, the message to bosses and leaders is to not “baby” their workers/followers.  If you excuse them when they’re irresponsible, if you reward them without merit, if you fail to enforce accountability then they will come to depend on you----- for everything.   They become your dependents--- your sons.

You end up with a committee/ board on which no one works but the chairperson.  You end up with an office where everyone gets paid while the supervisor handles all the  actual business.  You end up with a church where if the pastor goes away, so does all the ministry.

The proverb could be a warning.

But……

In Solomon’s day, a son was also a guarantee of security and continuity of the family’s legacy.  In that context, the proverb encourages leaders and bosses to treat their workers like family.   A leader should be so good to her team that as they grow personally and professionally they come to love their leader.  A good leader should treat his people so well that they remain loyal to him and his vision even after he has handed over the reins of power and title.  Thus, the “father’s” mission passes to the “sons,” and the VISION becomes a LEGACY.

The Apostle Paul did this with young pastors Timothy and Apollos (1 Corinthians 4: 6, 14-17).  The Prophet Moses did this with a lay warrior named Joshua (Deuteronomy 34: 9; Joshua 1: 1,2).  Jesus did this with a group of little children whom we call “the disciples” (John 13:33).

So.  Is Proverbs 29:21 a warning against pampering your servant or a word of encouragement to do just that?

Without contradiction, the answer is: BOTH.

Hold your people accountable.  Don’t treat them like babies.  At the same time, treat them well, like a loving, fair, and strong father should.  If you practice the right balance then your organization, your people, and you will profit from your relationship in the short term and far into the future.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 29: 21. "Servants & Sons"

Proverbs 29: 21     He who pampers his servant from childhood will have him as a son in the end.

Proverbs 29:21.  Solomon was fair and just.  He was that rare leader who could negotiate with monarchs or arbitrate between two hookers with the equal attentiveness and respect.  But, Solomon was also the elite of the elite.  He was the top of the top 1%.  

Solomon had been born in the palace, the son of the king. But Solomon’s father, David, had been a a working class shepherd and soldier who’d risen from carrying other soldiers’ armor to leading the entire army.  Solomon appreciated the importance of upward mobility.

Solomon enjoyed the lifestyle of the rich and famous.  Yet, he also understood that he had not earned his position as king.  It had been given to him by God, and if not for the grace of God, he would not have been able to hold onto it, let alone prosper in it. 

Solomon understood money, and he valued labor.  He was an elite class leader with working class sensibilities.

So, when Solomon talks about a servant rising to the status of a son, you have to wonder:  Was this a warning, or was it encouragement?

As a warning, the message to bosses and leaders is to not “baby” their workers/followers.  If you excuse them when they’re irresponsible, if you reward them without merit, if you fail to enforce accountability then they will come to depend on you----- for everything.   They become your dependents--- your sons.

You end up with a committee/ board on which no one works but the chairperson.  You end up with an office where everyone gets paid while the supervisor handles all the  actual business.  You end up with a church where if the pastor goes away, so does all the ministry.

The proverb could be a warning.

But……

In Solomon’s day, a son was also a guarantee of security and continuity of the family’s legacy.  In that context, the proverb encourages leaders and bosses to treat their workers like family.   A leader should be so good to her team that as they grow personally and professionally they come to love their leader.  A good leader should treat his people so well that they remain loyal to him and his vision even after he has handed over the reins of power and title.  Thus, the “father’s” mission passes to the “sons,” and the VISION becomes a LEGACY.

The Apostle Paul did this with young pastors Timothy and Apollos (1 Corinthians 4: 6, 14-17).  The Prophet Moses did this with a lay warrior named Joshua (Deuteronomy 34: 9; Joshua 1: 1,2).  Jesus did this with a group of little children whom we call “the disciples” (John 13:33).

So.  Is Proverbs 29:21 a warning against pampering your servant or a word of encouragement to do just that?

Without contradiction, the answer is: BOTH.

Hold your people accountable.  Don’t treat them like babies.  At the same time, treat them well, like a loving, fair, and strong father should.  If you practice the right balance then your organization, your people, and you will profit from your relationship in the short term and far into the future.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

WHAT (ELSE) MAMA SAID

In the movies, when a parent leaves an important detail out of their instructions, the results are hilarious.  But, in real-life, when parents give incomplete advice, especially incomplete advice about relationships-----the results are tragic.

How do we know what to tell our children about romance and relationships and what to leave out? 

What do we do if our parents somehow missed giving us the whole story?  
Is there any hope for raising up godly families in a culture where damaged relationships are more common than healthy ones?

The challenging and encouraging answer to these questions are given in a message called  WHAT (ELSE) MAMA SAID.

Listen well.

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---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com  
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves
If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order.

Mail all contributions to:

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116
 

SEED, SOIL, & SOWING

In church you don’t always get the return that you expected.  You invest time, energy, and yes---- money in church stuff, and you expect to see blessing come back to you.  But, it doesn’t always work that way.  Why?

The answer to that question, and the solution to that concern are all wrapped up in the foundational parable of  Jesus’, the Parable of the 4 Soils.

The message is called SEED, SOIL, and SOWING.

Listen Well.

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---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com  
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves
If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order.

Mail all contributions to:

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 29: 20

Proverbs 29: 20     Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Proverbs 29: 20.  At some point, someone is going to confront you and ask for your reaction to something that you know little or nothing about.  The demand may be from a reporter shoving a microphone in your face, or a pushy bystander holding a camera-phone, or a peer with hand on hip saying, “Well, So-and-so said that they heard that you said......”

However the query comes, your interrogator will demand that you give an immediate answer.

The Bible calls it a hasty answer, and reflects upon the mentality of those people develop the  habit of giving hasty answers.  Proverbs 29:20 calls such people worse-than-stupid.

The endless cycle of news and the endless supply of supposedly-expert testimony-givers creates pressure to post/text/tweet/blog/give an answer as hastily as possible.  Everyone else has something to say, so you also feel compelled to say------ something. 

The problem is that you cannot speak intelligently when you don’t have the intelligence (in the military sense of “information”) to speak from.  Therefore, to answer hastily is always to answer un-intelligently.  Unintelligent=foolish=stupid.  Once you’ve said/tweeted/posted/ blogged something stupid------ it follows you forever.

The same people who pressured you to give a hasty answer will crucify you for giving a stupid answer.

If you don’t believe me, ask the University of North Alabama football player who got kicked off the team for a hasty (and racist) tweet posted when the President’s speech pre-empted a football game.

Ask Ambassador Susan Rice, who missed out on the nomination for Secretary of State because of a hastily prepared interview about an attack at an embassy.

Ask the kid who will get suspended today for a fight that started when he told her that he would kick his butt after she told him that she heard that he was scared of him and she just wanted to know if he was really scared and all she did was tell him what he said.

If you don’t know the necessary facts, the only intelligent answer is, “I don’t know------ yet.”

“Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” --- Abraham Lincoln

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves
To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

If you enjoy this blog, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

OUTFIT OR EXPECTATION?

I'm not in the military.  But, if  I dressed like a soldier, and if I dressed my son like a soldier every day, what would you think I wanted my son to be when he grew up?    More importantly, what would my son assume I expected of him when he grew up?

…… A soldier, right?    

O.K.

Now they say, "A picture is worth a thousand words," so do this for me.   If you are the parent of a jr. high or high school age daughter, do an internet image search for the phrase "hooker costume" or "prostitute costume." 

Then look through your and your daughter's closets.  (I'm not even kidding.)  Are there any wear-outside-the-house outfits in your home that look like what the rest of the world would call the costume of a prostitute?

Now, what do you expect your daughter to be when she grows up?

What are you dressing her like you expect her to be when she grows up?

What role are you modeling (literally) for her?

Yes, I’m just a man.  Who am I to tell you or your child how to dress? 

I’m not telling you or your child how to dress.   I’m simply asking you to consider what loud, unspoken, and universally understood message you are sending about your baby girl when you dress her in a thong, butt-length skirt, push-up bra, and stiletto heels ------ for a school field trip.

I don’t know you or what’s in your closet.  I don’t buy your clothes and I’m not telling you how to spend your hard earned money.

I’m simply asking you to see what your money is actually buying. What unspoken, but loud and repeated message are you giving your daughter about the role you expect her to play in her relationships?

I’m not telling you who she is.  I’m not predicting the kind of person she’ll be. 

I am saying that it’s hard enough for any young lady to get the respect she deserves from the males who approach with their testosterone fueled agendas.  Why then would loving and thinking parents compound the difficulty by paying for a visual invitation to approach their daughter like she’s “not a good girl”?

My son may become a soldier no matter how I dress him.  My son may reject military service no matter what clothes I buy for him. 

But, if you instinctively understand that the way I dress my boy constitutes a push toward a certain lifestyle, then doesn’t the way you dress your girl also and equally matter?

I’m just asking.

(P.S.  I have a teenage daughter, and I do not dress my son like a soldier.)

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Call me at 334-288-0577
Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 29: 19. "MORE THAN WORDS"

Proverbs 29: 19     A servant will not be corrected by mere words; for though he understands, he will not respond.

Proverbs 29: 19.  Accountability is an often used but too-seldom applied term in organizational leadership.  What we call accountability is often just reporting. 

At best, reporting shows that your people know what they were supposed to do, but it doesn’t ensure that they did/ will do it.

Reports are the summary and spin that one party gives to his leaders and supervisors.  Reports can clarify questions with numbers and narratives, or reports can cloud results with excuses and empty oration.  Either way, reports are mere words.  REPORTING IS NOT ACCOUNTABILITY.

Accountability begins when the leaders peer into and through the reports and see the actual results.  ACCOUNTABILITY OCCURS WITH LEADERS RESPOND TO RESULTS WITH CONSEQUENCES. 

If a leader never drills down through the ritual of reporting to the spirit and truth of the actual results, then the leader doesn’t have an accurate basis for holding people accountable.    Once they get down to the actual results, leaders have to take the next difficult, painful, courageous, unpopular, and messy step.  They have to apply real results-based consequences.

A cashier who gives back too much change won’t stop giving back too much change because the manager asks him to.  But f the manager retrains the cashier AND docks his pay, the over-changing will stop, or the cashier will quit---- which will stop the over-changing.

A child who screams in the grocery store will not stop screaming because a parent tells her to stop one time. She’ll stop screaming when she has been taught proper behavior and shown that painful consequences follow her parent telling her to stop more than one time.

Many of our families, our schools, our communities, and our churches are corrupt, powerless, and declining because we don’t hold people accountable.  We take reports at face value and never look for the real results.  They say, “Everything fine,” so we ignore the smoke pouring out of the building.  No accountability.

We see the destruction and the decline, but we don’t want to hurt feelings, challenge political strongholds, or risk retaliation; so we leave people the way we found them in the positions where they can do the most harm and accept the empty report that, “God is good.”  No accountability.

From Congress to the county to the local church, we call for committees to write and deliver reports.  But reports are mere words, and mere words are not enough to alter the inertia of failure.  Accountability is the most difficult way, but it’s the only way.

Jesus modeled the practice of accountability.

Luke chapters 9 & 10 begin with Jesus ordaining and appointing 82 leaders.  The 12 apostles and the 70 others were given specific evangelistic appointments and assignments. 

They reported back to Jesus on their work (Luke 9: 10; 10: 17), and Jesus drilled down for spiritual, ministerial, and personal results. 

• How well did they handle the resources/ lack of resources?  (Luke 9: 3-5)
• When put on the spot could they organize and execute a feeding ministry in the field?  (Luke 9: 12-13)
• Had they grown in their understanding of Jesus despite the views of the prevailing culture? (Luke 9: 18-20)
• Could they show actual spiritual results? (Luke 10: 9, 17

When an appointed or potential leader some showed less understanding or less commitment than Jesus required, He applied the consequence of direct Divine rebuke. (Luke 9: 54-55; 9: 62; 10: 17-20)

Reports + Results + Consequences =  ACCOUNTABILITY.

It’s difficult way, but it’s Jesus’ way---- the necessary path of accountability.

---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order.

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

 

A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 29: 19. "MORE THAN WORDS"

Proverbs 29: 19     A servant will not be corrected by mere words; for though he understands, he will not respond.

Proverbs 29: 19.  Accountability is an often used but too-seldom applied term in organizational leadership.  What we call accountability is often just reporting. 

At best, reporting shows that your people know what they were supposed to do, but it doesn’t ensure that they did/ will do it.

Reports are the summary and spin that one party gives to his leaders and supervisors.  Reports can clarify questions with numbers and narratives, or reports can cloud results with excuses and empty oration.  Either way, reports are mere words.  REPORTING IS NOT ACCOUNTABILITY.

Accountability begins when the leaders peer into and through the reports and see the actual results.  ACCOUNTABILITY OCCURS WITH LEADERS RESPOND TO RESULTS WITH CONSEQUENCES. 

If a leader never drills down through the ritual of reporting to the spirit and truth of the actual results, then the leader doesn’t have an accurate basis for holding people accountable.    Once they get down to the actual results, leaders have to take the next difficult, painful, courageous, unpopular, and messy step.  They have to apply real results-based consequences.

A cashier who gives back too much change won’t stop giving back too much change because the manager asks him to.  But f the manager retrains the cashier AND docks his pay, the over-changing will stop, or the cashier will quit---- which will stop the over-changing.

A child who screams in the grocery store will not stop screaming because a parent tells her to stop one time. She’ll stop screaming when she has been taught proper behavior and shown that painful consequences follow her parent telling her to stop more than one time.

Many of our families, our schools, our communities, and our churches are corrupt, powerless, and declining because we don’t hold people accountable.  We take reports at face value and never look for the real results.  They say, “Everything fine,” so we ignore the smoke pouring out of the building.  No accountability.

We see the destruction and the decline, but we don’t want to hurt feelings, challenge political strongholds, or risk retaliation; so we leave people the way we found them in the positions where they can do the most harm and accept the empty report that, “God is good.”  No accountability.

From Congress to the county to the local church, we call for committees to write and deliver reports.  But reports are mere words, and mere words are not enough to alter the inertia of failure.  Accountability is the most difficult way, but it’s the only way.

Jesus modeled the practice of accountability.

Luke chapters 9 & 10 begin with Jesus ordaining and appointing 82 leaders.  The 12 apostles and the 70 others were given specific evangelistic appointments and assignments. 

They reported back to Jesus on their work (Luke 9: 10; 10: 17), and Jesus drilled down for spiritual, ministerial, and personal results. 

• How well did they handle the resources/ lack of resources?  (Luke 9: 3-5) 
• When put on the spot could they organize and execute a feeding ministry in the field?  (Luke 9: 12-13)
• Had they grown in their understanding of Jesus despite the views of the prevailing culture? (Luke 9: 18-20)
• Could they show actual spiritual results? (Luke 10: 9, 17

When an appointed or potential leader some showed less understanding or less commitment than Jesus required, He applied the consequence of direct Divine rebuke. (Luke 9: 54-55; 9: 62; 10: 17-20)

Reports + Results + Consequences =  ACCOUNTABILITY.

It’s difficult way, but it’s Jesus’ way---- the necessary path of accountability.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Call me at 334-288-0577

Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com

Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.