Bible Study: RELATIONSHIPS
Lesson 2: Failure & Redemption in the First Marriage
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road, Montgomery, AL
Rev. Anderson T. Graves II, pastor-teacher
Genesis chapters 1 & 2 present the ideal marriage. Genesis chapter 3 gives a step-by-step narrative of how a good marriage can fall apart. The purpose of this lesson is to understand what went wrong and how to deal with it. After all, at the end of all their problems, remember that Adam and Eve stayed married & gave birth to everybody.
Study Part 1
1. Look at Genesis 3: 1, 4. Note the qualifying words (indeed, surely) in the serpent’s questions and statements to Woman. How do these qualifiers more effectively create doubt than a straightforward invitation to disobey God?
Genesis 3: 1 Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ”
4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
- Satan didn’t technically call God a liar. Had Satan said, “God’s lying” or “God is wrong” the woman likely would have gone off and the conversation would have been over. Instead, he simply implied that there might be another, easier interpretation of God’s Words.
- “That’s not really what God was trying to say, was it?”
- “I know He said you’d ‘die,’ but do you really think He meant you’d ‘die-die,’ like literally ‘dead-die’?”
- He planted seeds of doubt about something that had been absolutely certain the moment before.
- He made Eve think, “I know that what the Word of God said, but is that really what God meant?”
- The doubt about the Word provided an opening for the suggestion/ temptation. The doubt opened a window for Eve to rationalize her sin & justify it as a more liberal/enlightened interpretation of the Word of God.
- Any interpretation of the Word that justifies sin is a mis-interpretation.
- Application: Doubt can be the death of a healthy marriage. (Remember that at this point in history, Adam & Eve do in fact have a healthy marriage.)
- Eve falls for a trick satan continues to use today, especially (though not exclusively) on women: Over-interpretation.
- Generally, men communicate literally. “I’m tired” means “I am tired.” It doesn’t mean “I’m bored with you and want to find someone younger and more exciting.”
- Over-interpretation can take a clear, simple, loving message and twist it 180 degrees. God’s “Don’t eat from the tree of knowledge or you’ll die” was over-interpreted into “It would be a godly thing to eat from the tree of knowledge.”
- In a marriage, over-interpretation can create resentment over statements that were never intended to offend. It can cause a spouse to see signs of infidelity where there is nothing but faithfulness and genuine commitment.
- CAUTION: Over-interpretation can work both ways.
- Statements and actions that are clearly wrong can be twisted to make them seem right.
- For example: If a man hits a woman it does not mean “He loves me so much he couldn’t control himself.” It means “This is a man who hits you.”
- We prevent over-interpretation by
o 1) developing godly discernment daily through Bible study & prayer
o 2) seeing the context of the relationship instead of obsessing over a single act, word, or emotion
o 3) understanding our issues (more on this with question #3) and our spouses
2. Look at Genesis 3: 5,6. What did Satan present as enticing about the tree of knowledge? Looking at Genesis 3: 6, what did Woman find appealing about the tree of knowledge?
Genesis 3: 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate.- For satan, who is a power obsessed ego maniac, the most enticing thing was power.
o Isaiah 14: 12 “How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, You who weakened the nations! 13 For you have said in your heart: ‘I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation On the farthest sides of the north; 14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.’
- *Because power was satan’s issue, he approached Eve assuming she would be enticed by the same thing.
- In fact, what tempted Eve wasn’t power. Verse 6 shows that Eve was tempted byt beauty, taste/ pleasure, and wisdom---none of which are necessarily sinful.
- This is the work of temptation at its most dangerous. Take something/ someone with traits which are in themselves positive, but put thing/ person in conflict with God’s commands.
- Example: Nothing’s wrong with good conversation between friends. It’s not a sin to enjoy the company of someone of the opposite sex other than your spouse. He’s/She’s a good person (maybe even a Christian). All of these are positive traits. But, when time with that person begins to be an escape from your marriage/spouse or when thoughts arise to do the opposite of what God & your vows say you should do---that person, that time w/ them is no longer innocent. It’s forbidden fruit.
- *Quick note. When someone first tempts you, they reveal their own issues. The 1st appeal will be based on what tempts them. They’ll give you a reason for doing what they want. When that doesn’t work, they won’t change what they want you to do, but they’ll come at you with a different reason why you should do it.
- Once they understand better what makes you tick, they’ll tailor their temptations to your issues.
3. Did the woman give in to the serpent’s temptation solely based on his words or was some of the temptation from within herself? In other words, did the devil make her do it? (Consider James 1: 13-15.)
James 1: 14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
- The Woman was tempted by satan, but she was not possessed by him. The devil enticed her to do wrong & encouraged her to do wrong; but the devil didn’t make her do wrong. Sin was Eve’s free choice.
- Marriages never fail for just one reason. In all the divorce situations I’ve dealt with as a pastor, friend, educator, & family member, I have never seen a situation in which it really was totally one person’s fault. The other person was a participant or an enabler.
- Point? Neither spouse can put the responsibility for the marriage’s success or failure on the other person.
- Factors exist against marriage. The attack Satan began in Eden continue today. Statistics may be against you, but marriages don’t fail because of statistics or because of satan. Marriages fail because husbands and wives fail their marriages.
- Each individual in a marriage brings his/ her own desires, goals, ambitions into the family. You don’t cease to be an individual when you get married.
- These ambitions may not be sinful in themselves, but when the desire to see them achieved blinds you to your responsibilities to God and to your spouse, then the desires have become issues.
- Eve was led away by her own desire for the physical beauty, physical pleasure, and promise of wisdom that she saw in the Tree of Knowledge.
- Pretty things (shopping), physical pleasure (pampering), and knowledge/ information (gossip)became Eve’s issues.
- To protect your marriage, husband and wife must each consider themselves, their ambitions, issues, and emotional baggage. When you understand yourself, you can anticipate the types of temptations to which you’re susceptible. (Galatians 6:1-4)
- You can anticipate the devil’s approach, recognize it when it comes (2 Corinthians 2: 11), and avoid “the fall.”
4. Where was Adam when his wife ate from the tree of knowledge (Genesis 3: 6)?
5. Woman ate the forbidden fruit first, then Adam after her. Whose eyes “were opened” first?
6. Compare Genesis 3: 7 to Genesis 2: 25. What’s changed?
7. Considering the discussion in lesson 1 (question #19) about what it means for a husband and wife to be naked and unashamed, what are the implications of Genesis 3:7 for modern marriages?
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