A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 27: 11

Proverbs 27: 11     My son, be wise, and make my heart glad, that I may answer him who reproaches me.

Wisdom begins with the fear of God (Ps 111:10; Pr 1:7; Pr 9:10; Pr 15:33).  That is, if you want your child to be good/ you want them to “mind,” then you have to raise the child to be wise.  Train a child to have a good & wise mind and you train a child to mind/ to be good.

But don’t confuse raising a child to be wise/ good and raising a child to just be popular/“good at.”

Sometimes parents obsess over their child being good at some particular thing because it fulfills the parents’ childhood dreams.

It’s psychologically and spiritually unhealthy for a parent to try to relive childhood through their children.  Dad and Mom could wind up fighting their children and God as they push the kids onto a path that fits the parents’ aspirations but ignores the children’s individuality and God’s will for the individual young person.

I expect my children to make A’s in school.  (They’ve been tested; they’re more than capable of it.)   I do and I will continue to push them to their highest academic potential; but I have to be careful that I don’t obsess over them being valedictorians to the point that I excuse cheating, sabotaging classmates, or manipulating school officials.  I’d be making them “good at” school without making them “good” people.    I could prove them smart in the eyes of people without making them wise in the eyes of God.

And that’s not what I want for my kids.  Any parent who is a Christian should be most concerned with raising our children in such a way that we fulfill our obligation to send godly adults into the world. 

Malachi 2:15 But did He not make them [husband and wife] one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring… 

You should holler like a maniac when your talented child shows himself/herself good at sports, but you should be even more excited when your good child shows himself/herself to be godly in the way he/she deals with conflicts on and off the field.

You’re supposed to feel pride that your son is handsome and your daughter is beautiful, but outward glory should never excuse moral foolishness or inward ugliness.

Don’t buy into the foolishness of helicopter parents who’s ruthless drama creates adults with old rooms full of childhood trophies and grown lives full of sin and broken relationships.

Dad and Mom, choose to love wisdom in your children.  Teach it.  Train it.  Correct them when they stray from it (and they will). 

Let your children’s good-ness be your glory. 

----- Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

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