A WORD TO THE WISE. "The Man with the Iron Friend"

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

I know that this proverb is out of order in the A WORD TO THE WISE series, but I was meditating on this verse and the Lord opened a realization to me.

You know that iron isn’t the only thing that sharpens iron, right?

Most of the knife blades I’ve sharpened (and I’ve sharpened a lot of knife blades) were sharpened on a stone.  This proverb is about the difference between the encouragement of friends and the encouragement of strangers.

See, encouragement and support are not generic concepts. 

To be a truly supportive friend, your method of encouraging must match the person you’re trying to help. 

If your friend is iron, be an iron friend. 

For example, if your friend is building a restauraunt, and you want to be supportive, then don’t do things that would be helpful to someone starting a band.  Do the specific kinds of things that encourage and assist a restaurant owner.     

Your method of help should match the person you’re trying to help.

Once you’ve gotten past the initial idea, your friend needs more than a generic, “Good job!  You can do it!” Heck, you can say that to anybody about anything.  Ask your restaurateur friend what kind of stove he/she is going to buy.  Find out the best places to buy tablecloths in town.  If there’s a conference for small business owners or a restaurant equipment showcase nearby, suggest going there before you suggest going to Six Flags.  Help clean-up after opening night.  Run to the store when they run out of tomatoes.  Wash some dishes.  Encourage your friend in specific ways that contribute to the important goal(s) he’s set for himself/ she’s set for herself.

And when they get overly-stressed and they need to get away and blow off steam in a non-job related manner, roll with that; but respect the grind when they start working on vacation.

That’s what it means to be iron friend adding to the edge of an iron friend.

But, iron isn’t the only thing that sharpens iron.  Your sister, co-worker, pastor, spouse, or buddy will also get help and sometimes encouragement from people who don’t care about  her/him.  That’s O.K.  Those people are sharpening stones, and there’ll be more stones than iron.  To succeed your friend needs those non-loving but beneficial relationships, too.  But those are stones.

You are iron, like your friend is iron.  You have his back because you love him, not just because he’s a good investment. 

You are working at her side because you love her, not just because your job description requires you to offer assistance to a client.

You are listening and helping in the way that he is saying he needs you to help, not just doing what serves your interests or allows you convenience. 

That’s being  a sharpening iron to an iron friend who needs help to be at his/her sharpest.

---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

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Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Rd.,
Montgomery, AL 36116