A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 28: 23.

Proverbs 28: 23     He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue.

Proverbs 28: 23.  First of all, it’s amazing and amazingly sad how popular Christianity has dumbed down the people of God.   The term “rebuke” gets so over-used in the context of spiritual warfare, and people read their Bibles so little,  that many Christians think “rebuking” another person means binding that person’s spirit or making that person go away. 

To rebuke someone means simply to tell them that they’re wrong, to set them straight (Genesis 21: 25; Leviticus 19: 17;  Matthew 16: 22; Luke 9: 55).

 

In Proverbs 28: 23, Solomon is teaching his son and us not to be a brown-nosers. 

There will be times when you’re dealing with somebody who’s wrong, or at least you think they’re wrong.  You may love them, respect them, even work for them.  Don’t if you say, “Oh, that’s a great idea!” when you sincerely believe that the whole things gonna fall apart----- don’t expect your false compliment to profit you in the long run.    If the boss’s idea does in fact fall apart, make no mistake, he/she is gonna look at you and ask, “Why in crap didn’t you say something before now?”

 Tell the truth.  Speak that truth in love not in a loud,  mean, or condescending manner.  And don’t just say, “That won’t work” or “We can’t do it.”  Identify the specific pieces of the plan that need revision.  Be prepared to help fix the weak links. 

As my mother Shirley Graves would say, “I know you can see the dirt, but can you sweep?”

The object of rebuke between people is correction and improvement. 

Now, if you’ve lived in the real world for any amount of time then you know that some folks don’t take rebuke very well. 

You sincerely just want to help.  They attack you for being negative or not-a-team-player. 

You try to be discreet and quiet.  They write you into their next sermon.

You believe in the vision and really just want to see the program succeed.  They label you as a threat and set out to destroy you.

Scriptures like Leviticus 19: 17 remind you that if you see your brother/ sister messing up and you withhold rebuke then you’re not expressing godly love.   Passages like Matthew 7: 6  and Luke 9: 5 warn you not to beat your head against a brick wall but to move on once you’ve said what you have to say.

So your rebuke won’t always be a conversation, especially when the conversation’s only going to lead to drama.

In Genesis chapter 20, Abraham and Sarai lied to Abimelech king of Gerar.  When the king found out, he responded by paying them the full amount of what was basically a civil settlement.   Abimelech was saying, “O.K.  I have totally and generously fulfilled my obligations in  this situation.  Now I’m out of it.”  Genesis 20: 16 says, Thus Sarai was rebuked.

Paul put it this way: “Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”  (Romans 12:20, which is quoted from Proverbs 25: 22)

If words have only made the situation worse, then don’t say anything else.  Don’t sabotage the idiotic plan, and don’t’ praise it when you know it’s idiotic.  Simply perform your duties with excellence and with integrity.  When it falls apart and you cannot be blamed---- therein is the rebuke.

Now, you can’t hide behind the non-verbal option.  You have to “gird your loins,” man-up/ woman-up and speak up.  But when you have tried the loving, discreet, well-intentioned, direct verbal rebuke (and tried it more than once) ---- if the results are counter-productive, then you close your mouth and let your actions speak, praying all the while that they get the message.

Remember that you don’t want to bind them up in failure.  You’re not trying to cast them away from your presence.  You want them to see and correct their error.  You want them to get it right. 

If that’s what you want, then you’ll find favor with God and, in the long run favor with that boss/ person who eventually realizes that you’re the one they could trust.

However, you don’t want the other person to do right and to succeed, then you just be quiet from the start because the only one you should be rebuking is yourself.

---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

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