MENTEE vs. PROTEGE. What's in a name?

I mentor a number of people, male and female, young and old.  But, on Facebook I was talking specifically about 2 junior high school boys whom I officially mentor.  I said that I prefer to call them my PROTEGES rather than my “mentees.”

The question that followed was, “What’s the difference between a protégé and a mentee?”

The answer:  None and much.

Linguistically, the terms are synonymous.  It’s really just a matter of personal preference in which you use.

But I call my guys PROTEGES is because I look at it a bit deeper.

The word mentee is a derivation of MENTOR.  The mentee is the object of the mentor.  It implies that the human mentee is simply an extension of his/her mentor.  And even when we talk about mentees, we usually think of them as people who are desperate or in need of help, someone who is “at risk.”

On the other hand, the word protégé is not derived from mentor.  Protégé is independent.  Their relationship is mutual.  When I think of a protégé, I think of someone who is destined to follow in the footsteps of greatness, and then to excel beyond the works of his/her mentor.

The connotation of a mentee is someone characterized by his/her past deprivation.   The connotation of a protégé is someone characterized by his/her future greatness.

I could be overthinking the concept.  (I’ve been known to do that.)  It doesn’t REALLY matter with term you use.  But, if you’re a mentor it does matter that you remember your role.

As a mentor, your job is not to create more little YOUs.   Your job is bring out great THEMs.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 30: 17. "Your Parents Through Your Eyes"

Proverbs 30: 17     The eye that mocks his father, and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.

Proverbs 30: 17.  Jesus said, “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness..” (Matthew 6: 22, 23a)

In other words, “It all depends on how you look at it.”

Your perspective-----the way you look at what you’re doing and what has been done to you-----helps decide whether you begin your journey full of light or full of darkness. 

When I was an English teacher at Capitol Height Jr. High School, I started the year with my students seated in alphabetical order.  One kid, a skinny, self-avowed thug regularly skipped school.  He never did homework. He never brought a book or paper to class. He was disruptive and disrespectful.  I called his parents every day that he was in class, but they were more frustrated and desperate for a solution than I was.

The young man in front of him was exactly the opposite.  He was a chubby, geeky, honor student.  He was quiet, polite, and focused.  He and his best friend, a little Asian kid, drew manga comics and designed video games as a hobby and sometimes for extra credit.

We were halfway through the first semester when I realized that the thug and the honor student were brothers.  Not stepbrothers.  Not half-brothers.  Brother brothers.  They both lived in the same 2-parent, working class home.  They shared a room.

Most of the kids in the class didn’t know they were brothers even though some of them had been classmates since 3^rdgrade.  The boys didn’t mention it because each of them was ashamed of the other.

One brother saw their parents and their home as a place of light.  The restrictions and imperfections encouraged him to learn and to succeed in every positive way available.

The other brother saw their family through eyes full of darkness.  His parents were “lame.”  Their marriage was “lame.”  Good grades were “lame.” School was “lame.”  Only the guys in the streets were real.

The thug brother was actually older, but he’d failed so many times that he ended up in the same class as his “good” little brother.  He didn’t pass that year either.

Your perspective on your parents is crucial.

Even if your parents failed you, your perspective on them matters.  You cannot go back and change their dysfunction, addiction, abuse, neglect, absence, immaturity, incarceration, or incompetence.  But you can decide whether or not it poisons your mindset.  

You can determine that daddy’s and mama’s sins will be a lesson in how not to live and a motivation for you to break the cycle.  You can look at your parents and fill your eyes with light.

Or, you can choose to see their failures as a precursor to your own.  You can repeat the lie that, “I’ll never be anything, either.” You can look at your parents and fill your eyes with darkness.  But you don’t have to.

They’re YOUR eyes.  It’s your mind and your mindset.  You choose, but be careful.

Jesus went on to say, “If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6: 23b)

The last half of Proverbs 30: 17, warns that a dark-filled eye will become prey for ravens and young eagles.  The word here for eagles can also refer to vultures.  The point is that filling your eyes with darkness will turn you into food for scavengers. 

Living your life filled with hate for your parents and empty of hope because of them------ will kill you.

Don’t let the darkness destroy you.

Where there was right, remember it.  Where there was wrong, forgive. 

Where they were wise, respect them.  Where they were foolish, forgive.

Where they spoke life, receive it.  Where they spoke death, decline it.

Choose your perspective.

Be filled with light.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

Proverbs 30: 17. "Your Parents Through Your Eyes"

Proverbs 30: 17     The eye that mocks his father, and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.

Proverbs 30: 17.  Jesus said, “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness..” (Matthew 6: 22, 23a)

In other words, “It all depends on how you look at it.”

Your perspective-----the way you look at what you’re doing and what has been done to you-----helps decide whether you begin your journey full of light or full of darkness. 

When I was an English teacher at Capitol Height Jr. High School, I started the year with my students seated in alphabetical order.  One kid, a skinny, self-avowed thug regularly skipped school.  He never did homework. He never brought a book or paper to class. He was disruptive and disrespectful.  I called his parents every day that he was in class, but they were more frustrated and desperate for a solution than I was.

The young man in front of him was exactly the opposite.  He was a chubby, geeky, honor student.  He was quiet, polite, and focused.  He and his best friend, a little Asian kid, drew manga comics and designed video games as a hobby and sometimes for extra credit.

We were halfway through the first semester when I realized that the thug and the honor student were brothers.  Not stepbrothers.  Not half-brothers.  Brother brothers.  They both lived in the same 2-parent, working class home.  They shared a room.

Most of the kids in the class didn’t know they were brothers even though some of them had been classmates since 3^rd grade.  The boys didn’t mention it because each of them was ashamed of the other.

One brother saw their parents and their home as a place of light.  The restrictions and imperfections encouraged him to learn and to succeed in every positive way available.

The other brother saw their family through eyes full of darkness.  His parents were “lame.”  Their marriage was “lame.”  Good grades were “lame.” School was “lame.”  Only the guys in the streets were real.

The thug brother was actually older, but he’d failed so many times that he ended up in the same class as his “good” little brother.  He didn’t pass that year either.

Your perspective on your parents is crucial.

Even if your parents failed you, your perspective on them matters.  You cannot go back and change their dysfunction, addiction, abuse, neglect, absence, immaturity, incarceration, or incompetence.  But you can decide whether or not it poisons your mindset.  

You can determine that daddy’s and mama’s sins will be a lesson in how not to live and a motivation for you to break the cycle.  You can look at your parents and fill your eyes with light.

Or, you can choose to see their failures as a precursor to your own.  You can repeat the lie that, “I’ll never be anything, either.” You can look at your parents and fill your eyes with darkness.  But you don’t have to.

They’re YOUR eyes.  It’s your mind and your mindset.  You choose, but be careful.

Jesus went on to say, “If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6: 23b)

The last half of Proverbs 30: 17, warns that a dark-filled eye will become prey for ravens and young eagles.  The word here for eagles can also refer to vultures.  The point is that filling your eyes with darkness will turn you into food for scavengers. 

Living your life filled with hate for your parents and empty of hope because of them------ will kill you.

Don’t let the darkness destroy you.

Where there was right, remember it.  Where there was wrong, forgive. 

Where they were wise, respect them.  Where they were foolish, forgive.

Where they spoke life, receive it.  Where they spoke death, decline it.

Choose your perspective.

Be filled with light.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

KNEE JERKING & COMMON CORE

Knee-jerking can be dangerous, especially for educators. 

Knee-jerking.  You know, a reflexive/ “knee jerk” response.  Like when President Obama pats his dog on the head and Republicans issue a statement denouncing the socialist movement to give animals the same rights as humans.

Knee-jerking.

We're all guilty of it, especially in our politics.  Most of the time it's slightly stupid.  Sometimes it's seriously funny.  But, it can be profoundly dangerous, especially when you don't realize that someone is manipulating your knee-jerks to make you march zombie-like in a direction you wouldn't choose if you were thinking instead of just reacting.

I'm thinking about the debate in Alabama over repealing Common Core Standards.

A couple years ago, when we started the process (the quite poorly executed process) of explaining Common Core Standards in Alabama, most classroom educators knee-jerked against it.

It was just more crap to memorize. We’d have to dump all those AHSGE desktop files and classroom posters and create a whole new set of documents to mindlessly copy and paste into lesson plans and student notebooks. 

We knee-jerked against Common Core without really examining it.

Then it became the rule, so we accepted it, but few classroom teachers (none I know personally) were actually excited about it.

Now, the Republican-dominated Alabama legislature is trying to repeal Common Core in Alabama, and educators are up in arms.

Why?

Now, I’m not a Republican.  I think that the current crop of Republican state legislatures is deliberately trying to destroy public education in America.

But, why are so many of educators suddenly passionate about protecting a set of rules for which they felt zero passion a few weeks ago?

Knee-jerking.
And I felt it, too.  That involuntary flinch forward into spontaneous activism  because THEY are against something related to education.  THEY being Alabama Republicans, the ancient enemies of all institutions with the word “public” in their designation----- public schools, public lands, public parks, public restrooms, ...

I am not opposed to the Common Core Standards. 

Or, as the debate is current framed, I am not in favor of the Republican plan to repeal Common Core Standards. 

(Notice the subtle difference there.  Are we considering the merit of the standards or are we reacting to a move by our political opponents?)

But what has effectively happened is that the Republican opposition to Common Core has achieved in 2 weeks, what 2 years of powerpoint presentations from the Alabama Board of Education had failed to accomplish:   Educators across the state now overwhelmingly support/buy-in to the new Common Cores Standards.

I’m not telling you to stop calling your legislator.  I’m not telling you what to say when you call him/her. 

All I’m asking you to do is ask yourself 2 questions:

(1) Did you arrive at your current position on this issue  by way of reason or by way of a series of knee-jerks?

(2) And if you knee-jerked to this point, who is it who’s been tapping your knee?

Educators are the smartest group of professionals in this country.  We’re so smart that people pay us to make other people smart.  So, if we let ourselves get knee-jerked around the socio-political landscape, then what hope is there for rest of America.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

Proverbs 30:15. "Unleeched"

Proverbs 30: 15     The leech has two daughters— Give and Give!
There are three things that are never satisfied; four never say, “Enough!”:
16     The grave, The barren womb, The earth that is not satisfied with water— And the fire never says, “Enough!”

Proverbs 30: 15, 16.  “Give me.”    “Help me.”

People use these statements interchangeably, but they are very, very different.  Different in DEFINITION.  And different in DEFINING.

“Help me” can mean “HELP me.”  Work with me.  Teach me what I didn’t know before I put myself in this situation.  Show me what I had not seen so that I don’t end up like this again.  Contribute whatever or however you choose to, but hold me ultimately responsible.  Please, HELP me be more responsible. 

But, the phrase “Help me” can also be defined as “gimme.”  Gimme what I want.  Handle it so I don’t have to.  Release me from responsibility for my actions and circumstances.  Gimme, and then be ready to gimme some more.

What matters isn’t the words, but the DEFINITION/ the meaning behind the words.  Titles and terminology can be a disguise but the real DEFINITION behind what comes out of our mouths will soon show.

Differences in DEFINITION are important, but what’s more important are the differences in DEFINING.

In Matthew 7: 15-20, Jesus said that a tree, a prophet, or a person is DEFINED by the fruit he/she bears.  It is our fruit/actions/output that DEFINES us.

So, if what comes out of you is always “Gimme.  Gimme,” then according to the definition in Proverbs 30: 15, you are A LEECH.

You’re not a victim.  You’re not a little down on your luck.  You may say “all I need is a little help,” but if your idea of help is somebody else handing you money while you do nothing more or different------ God says that you’re A LEECH.

Rev., that’s harsh.

Bro., that’s Bible.

Leeches suck the life out of their host, pausing their consumption only long enough to reproduce.  Other than that a leech will drink until it dies, or the host does.

The grave never says, “Enough death.”

The barren womb is never filled.

The parched earth does not believe that it will ever get enough rain.

The fire never reaches more fuel and stops because it has consumed enough.

So it is with the leech, whether animal or human.   He doesn’t know when to quit taking.  She doesn’t know how to stop begging. 

Consider yourself:

1.      When they tell you that you’re asking for their last, do you ask anyway?

2.      Will you really change the way you live to get the help you need, or do you keep saying “I’m doing good, I just can’t pay my bills  (again)”?

3.      Do you believe that sacrifice now will reward you later, or do you feel like you have to ball while you can because “I ain’t never gone have nothing anyway”?

If the description fits, there is a reason why your life sucks.

You’re a leech.

But wait. 

You don’t have to stay that way.  You can be unleeched.

God can remove the consuming character from fire, like He did for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abengo (Daniel 3).

God can send rain on land that has known only drought for years, like He did through Elijah(1 Kings 18: 41-45).

God can speak life into the barren womb, just like He did for Sarah (Genesis 21: 1-7).

God can command the grave to give up its prey, as He did when He called Lazarus forth (John 11).

The Lord can make that which is never satisfied declare “Enough.”  God can unleech you.

Stop making excuses.  Stop waiting for someone else to give you something else.  Stop living a life that sucks.

Submit to God.  Give yourself to Jesus.  Walk according to the Living Word.  Be transformed.  

Be UNLEECHED.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 30:15. "Unleeched

Proverbs 30: 15     The leech has two daughters— Give and Give!
There are three things that are never satisfied; four never say, “Enough!”:
16     The grave, The barren womb, The earth that is not satisfied with water— And the fire never says, “Enough!”

Proverbs 30: 15, 16.  “Give me.”    “Help me.”

People use these statements interchangeably, but they are very, very different.  Different in DEFINITION.  And different in DEFINING.

“Help me” can men mean “HELP me.”  Work with me.  Teach me what I didn’t know before I put myself in this situation.  Show me what I had not seen so that I don’t end up like this again.  Contribute whatever or however you choose to, but hold me ultimately responsible.  Please, HELP me be more responsible. 

But, the phrase “Help me” can also be defined as “gimme.”  Gimme what I want.  Handle it so I don’t have to.  Release me from responsibility for my actions and circumstances.  Gimme, and then be ready to gimme some more.

What matters isn’t the words, but the DEFINITION/ the meaning behind the words.  Titles aand terminology can be a disguise but the real DEFINITION behind what comes out of our mouths will soon show.

DEFINITION is important, but what’s more important though is the difference in DEFINING.

In Matthew 7: 15-20, Jesus said that a tree, a prophet, or a person is DEFINED by the fruit he/she bears.  It is our fruit/actions/output that DEFINES us.

So, if what comes out of you is always “Gimme.  Gimme. Gimme,” then according to the definition in Proverbs 30: 15, you are A LEECH.

You’re not a victim.  You’re not a little down on your luck.  You may say “all I need is a little help,” but if your idea of help is somebody else handing you money while you do nothing more or different------ God says that you’re A LEECH.

Rev., that’s harsh.

Bro., that’s Bible.

Leeches suck the life out of their host, pausing their consumption only long enough to reproduce.  Other than that a leech will drink until it dies, or the host does.

The grave never says, “Enough death.”

The barren womb is never filled.

The parched earth does not believe that it will ever get enough rain.

The fire never reaches more fuel and stops because it has consumed enough.

So it is with the leech, whether animal or human.   He doesn’t know when to quit.  She doesn’t know how. 

Consider yourself:

1.      When they tell you that you’re asking for their last, do you ask anyway?

2.      Will you change the way you live to get the help you need, or do you think “I’m doing good, I just can’t pay my bills”?

3.      Do you believe that sacrifice now will reward you later, or do you feel like you have to ball while you can because “I ain’t never gone have nothing anyway”?

If the description fits, there is a reason why your life sucks.

You’re a leech.

But wait. 

You don’t have to stay that way.  You can be unleeched.

God can remove the consuming character from fire, like He did for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abengo (Daniel 3).

God can send rain on land that has known only drought for years, like He did through Elijah(1 Kings 18: 41-45).

God can speak life into the barren womb, just like He did for Sarah (Genesis 21: 1-7).

God can command the grave to give up its prey, as He did when He called Lazarus forth (John 11).

The Lord can make that which is never satisfied declare “Enough.”  God can unleech you.

Stop making excuses.  Stop waiting for someone else to give you something else.  Stop living a life that sucks.

Submit to God.  Give yourself to Jesus.  Walk according to the Living Word.  Be transformed.  

Be UNLEECHED.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116