Act 3. RELEASE
Joseph, son of Israel, had been
into a pit in the Middle Eastern sun, sold into slavery, taken to a foreign
land, exploited, sexually assaulted, falsely imprisoned as a sex-offender, further
exploited, and forgotten. All of this because the men who should have
mentored and protected, his own older brothers, had betrayed him.
Now, in the closing chapters of
the book of Genesis, Joseph was the 2nd most powerful man in the
Biblical world. But the pain of his
brothers’ treachery was a deep wound, infected with bitterness, and when those
men showed up in Egypt the stitches burst and Joseph hurt all over again.
Either the pain of his past would
consume him, or Joseph would have to heal. And so, Joseph son of Israel began a
3 part journey to healing. I’ve
recounted that journey is this blog series:
Healing in 3 Acts.
Act 1:
LISTEN.
Hear the story your bullies/ tormentors/ haters/ enemies tell themselves
about the hurt they did to you.
Then they said to one another, “We are truly guilty concerning our
brother, for we saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us, and we
would not hear; therefore this distress has come upon us.”
And Reuben answered them, saying, “Did I not speak to you, saying,
‘Do not sin against the boy’; and you would not listen? Therefore behold, his
blood is now required of us.”
But they did not know that Joseph understood them, for he spoke to
them through an interpreter.
And he turned himself away from them and wept. Then he returned to
them again, and talked with them. And he took Simeon from them and bound him
before their eyes. (Genesis 42: 21-24).
Act 2:
WATCH. Look honestly at the present
truth of who those people are now and who you now are.
Judah said, “Now therefore, please let [me]
remain instead of the lad as a slave to my lord, and let the lad [Benjamin]
go up with his brothers. For how shall I
go up to my father if the lad is not with me, lest perhaps I see the evil that
would come upon my father?” (Genesis 44: 33-34)
. . . 4 And Joseph said to his brothers, . . . “I
am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 But now, do
not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for
God sent me before you to preserve life. . . 7 And God sent me before you
to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great
deliverance. 8 So now it was not you who sent me here, but God;
and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler
throughout all the land of Egypt. (Genesis 45: 4-8)
And now, the 3rd stage
of the story of healing from old spiritual wounds.
ACT 3: RELEASE.
You are carrying an emotional
ledger with all the debts they owe you for what they did to you. That account keeps them tied to you and you
chained to them continually returning to that old hurt to collect a debt that
---- when you see the whole truth ---- they can NEVER repay. There
may be legal or social justice for their crimes, but no ruling will release you
from the connection your soul keeps retying to those memories.
Only you can release you.
And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and
whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven (Matthew 16:19).
The key is truth. Turn the key.
You know the truth, as best you
can, of the past: from your perspective
and from theirs--- the whole truth. You
see the reality of the present truth for them and for yourself. It is truth that set you free, but possessing
the key isn’t enough. You have to exert
the strength to turn the key and open the chains.
With the truth secure, release
yourself by releasing them.
Jesus said: “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone,
forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses” (Mark
11: 25).
Forgive them.
When, knowing the truth you grant
forgiveness to those who wronged you, you receive release from the spiritual
chains that hold you in anger and unforgiveness of yourself.
You need to forgive them, but that
doesn’t mean you have to trust them.
We say “forgive and forget” but
that’s not a logical pairing. A healthy
mind doesn’t just lose memories.
What we really mean is “forgive
and TRUST.” It’s not as catchy a phrase
without the alliteration, but that’s what we really mean. Forgive them for what they did and then trust
them as if they’d never done it. Trust
them all over again as if you had forgotten what they did.
You can forgive and trust as if
you’d forgiven and forgotten. You can,
but the Bible doesn’t say you have to.
God commands forgiveness. God commands generosity and helpfulness
toward those who wronged you. But God
doesn’t command you to pretend the wrong never happened.
Nope. No.
Joseph forgave his older
brothers. He forgave them and gave them
good land in Goshen on the eastern border of Egypt.
You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near to
me, you and your children, your children’s children, your flocks and your
herds, and all that you have (Genesis 45:9-10).
He forgave them and got them good
jobs as Pharaoh’s personal shepherds.
5 Then Pharaoh spoke to Joseph, saying, “Your father and your
brothers have come to you. 6 The land of Egypt is before you.
Have your father and brothers dwell in the best of the land; let them dwell in
the land of Goshen. And if you know any competent men among them, then make
them chief herdsmen over my livestock” (Genesis
47:1-10).
He forgave them and fed them
during the famine.
Then Joseph provided his father, his brothers, and all his
father’s household with bread, according to the number in their families (Genesis 47: 12).
He forgave them and continued to
bless them with the favor of Egypt even after their father died. He
forgave, but he didn’t pretend to forget what they had done.
When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said,
“Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil which
we did to him.”
. . . Joseph said to them,
“Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? 20 But as for
you, you meant evil against me; but
God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save
many people alive. 21 Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will
provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly
to them (Genesis 50: 15-21).
Forgiveness honors the truth. Maybe the truth is you can trust them
now. And maybe the truth is: you will do
all you can to help them lead a good life, but they can’t move back in with
you. So, forgive that dude who robbed
you. Help him find a legitimate job. But maybe don’t recommend him for a cashier
position, and don’t feel obligated to share
the code to your security system.
RELEASE yourself from bitterness.
RELEASE yourself from the side of
the old grudge you’re still holding up.
RELEASE yourself from the hold the
old hurt has on you by forgiveness those who hurt you. RELEASE yourself from the un-Biblical and
irrational guilt over remembering.
RELEASE yourself so that the
memory no longer hold power over you because you gave granted forgiveness in
the full light of the truth of what was and what is.
LISTEN. WATCH.
RELEASE.
Compose a new story for
yourself. Live the narrative that
includes closure. Be the protagonist who
used to be afflicted with guilt but now is healed and whole. Be the prisoner of pain who has been
liberated. Reject the old role of victim
to the villains from your past. Re-cast
yourself.
Be the hero of your own story.
That’s how healing happened for
Joseph.
That’s how healing can happen for
you.
--Anderson T. Graves
II is a writer, community organizer
and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is
pastor of Miles Chapel CME
Church in Fairfield, Alabama. He writes a blog called A Word to the Wise at
www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
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