Proverbs 31: 10. A WOMAN WORTH?

Proverbs 31: 10     Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. (NIV)

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. (NLV)

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. (ESV)

Proverbs 31: 10. On the one hand this verse is a Divine affirmation that there are good women out there.  On the other hand, it is a Divine warning that every woman out there isn’t a good one. 

Esau, son of Isaac, grandson of Abraham, had no problem finding a wife/wives.  All around him, there were girls who made themselves “available.”  They were available, but they weren’t the kind of women that you could “bring home to mama.”  (Genesis 28: 8; 27: 46)   The family Esau’s built with those women became synonymous with idolatry and absolute destruction.  Edom, Esau’s line, was wiped out by God (Ezekiel 25: 13).

Jacob, Esau’s twin, made the right choice in a wife.  It took him 7, then 14 years of hard, hard work to win his wife/wives.  But through them God raised up a great nation.  (Genesis 29)  Jacob’s wives became the mothers of the nation of Israel, the biological line of Jesus (Genesis 49).

So, we have twin brothers raised in the same house by the same parents.  One of them picks the wrong women.  His legacy is destruction.  The other twin ends up with the right women.  His legacy is Jesus and the Jewish people.

What made the difference?

The difference was value and effort. 

Esau, according to Hebrews 12:16, had a messed up sense of value.  That’s value not values.

I’m not talking about moral values.  I’m talking about the internal calculator that tells a man which opportunity, activity, or woman to “spend” his time and energy pursuing.  I’m talking about the sense of what a good woman is “worth.”   (Cue Alicia Keys here.) 

Who can find a wife of noble character, a  virtuous and capable wife,  a woman who is just excellent?  The answer is:  A man who understands what a good woman is worth.  A man who understands what makes a woman WORTHY.

Not in dollars, but in every other sense. 

If she’s like every other girl you’ve slept with, then she’s “a dime a dozen” and that’s not wife value.

If access to her bed can be purchased by any man willing to spend the necessary funds---- regardless of the man’s character, intentions, or marital status----- she may be expensive; but, bro., she isn’t worthy.  She isn’t worth it.

If the sex is good, but the price of being with her is constant drama and unpredictable bouts of “seriously, how freakin’ ignorant can one woman be,” then you really need to re-calculate your sense of value.

And ladies, a really good man---especially one who paid attention to the advice of a wise mother----- will see your true value even when you don’t.

When you think you can’t, he’ll be absolutely, maybe nonchalantly certain that you can---- because he knows your true value.

When other men only smile at the sight of you boobs or your butt, you’ll catch your good man staring at your face, looking sideways into your eyes with a silly grin on his face.  (Now he’s also gonna smile at your boobs and butt.  A good man is still a man.)

Ladies, a smart man with a good sense of value, will see your true worth.  So if you say that  you’re worth/ worthy of a commitment; but your price is actually a trip to the mall------ he’ll see that, too.

If you say that you’re saving yourself for “the husband God sends me” when you’re really trying to hit the baller lottery and luck up on some random rich guy------ your could-have-been-the-one good man will see that, too.

Jacob, for all of his issues, knew what a good wife was worth.  He didn’t have money, but that wasn’t a problem, because an excellent wife cannot be appraised in dollars like something in a pawn shop jewelry display. 

A wife of noble character is worth your time.  She’s worth your effort. She’s worth building your family and fortunes together.   She’s worth betting everything you have.

Who can find a woman like that?

The man who knows what he’s looking for.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

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