Proverbs 31: 10 Who can
find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far
above rubies.
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than
rubies. (NIV)
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than
rubies. (NLV)
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. (ESV)
Proverbs 31: 10. On the one hand this verse is a
Divine affirmation that there are good women out there. On the other hand, it is a Divine warning that
every woman out there isn’t a good one.
Esau, son of Isaac, grandson of Abraham, had no
problem finding a wife/wives. All around
him, there were girls who made themselves “available.” They were available, but they weren’t the
kind of women that you could “bring home to mama.” (Genesis 28: 8; 27: 46) The
family Esau’s built with those women became synonymous with idolatry and absolute
destruction. Edom, Esau’s line, was
wiped out by God (Ezekiel 25: 13).
Jacob, Esau’s twin, made the right choice in a
wife. It took him 7, then 14 years of
hard, hard work to win his wife/wives.
But through them God raised up a great nation. (Genesis 29) Jacob’s wives became the mothers of the nation
of Israel, the biological line of Jesus (Genesis 49).
So, we have twin brothers raised in the same house
by the same parents. One of them picks
the wrong women. His legacy is
destruction. The other twin ends up with
the right women. His legacy is Jesus and
the Jewish people.
What made the difference?
The difference was value and effort.
Esau, according to Hebrews 12:16, had a messed up
sense of value. That’s value not values.
I’m not talking about moral values. I’m talking about the internal calculator
that tells a man which opportunity, activity, or woman to “spend” his time and
energy pursuing. I’m talking about the sense
of what a good woman is “worth.” (Cue Alicia Keys here.)
Who can find a wife
of noble character, a virtuous and capable wife, a woman who is just excellent? The answer
is: A man who understands what a good
woman is worth. A man who understands
what makes a woman WORTHY.
Not in dollars, but in every other sense.
If she’s like every other girl you’ve slept with,
then she’s “a dime a dozen” and that’s not wife value.
If access to her bed can be purchased by any man
willing to spend the necessary funds---- regardless of the man’s character,
intentions, or marital status----- she may be expensive; but, bro., she isn’t
worthy. She isn’t worth it.
If the sex is good, but the price of being with her
is constant drama and unpredictable bouts of “seriously, how freakin’ ignorant
can one woman be,” then you really need to re-calculate your sense of value.
And ladies, a really good man---especially one who paid
attention to the advice of a wise mother----- will see your true value even
when you don’t.
When you think you can’t, he’ll be absolutely, maybe
nonchalantly certain that you can---- because he knows your true value.
When other men only smile at the sight of you boobs
or your butt, you’ll catch your good man staring at your face, looking sideways
into your eyes with a silly grin on his face.
(Now he’s also gonna smile at your boobs and butt. A good man is still a man.)
Ladies, a smart man with a good sense of value, will
see your true worth. So if you say
that you’re worth/ worthy of a
commitment; but your price is actually a trip to the mall------ he’ll see that,
too.
If you say that you’re saving yourself for “the husband
God sends me” when you’re really trying to hit the baller lottery and luck up
on some random rich guy------ your could-have-been-the-one good man will see
that, too.
Jacob, for all of his issues, knew what a good wife
was worth. He didn’t have money, but
that wasn’t a problem, because an
excellent wife cannot be appraised in dollars like something in a pawn shop
jewelry display.
A wife of
noble character is worth your time.
She’s worth your effort. She’s worth building your family and fortunes
together. She’s worth betting
everything you have.
Who can find a woman like that?
The man who knows what he’s looking for.
---Anderson
T. Graves II is a writer, community organizer and
consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth
Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership
development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).
If this message helps or touches you, please help
support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116
