BRO, IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY: JACOB AND ESAU

 blogging Genesis 25:12-26

Isaac loved Rebekah.  After his mother’s death, Isaac had entered a state of inconsolable grief and depression. Their love had brought him out of the darkness (Genesis 24:67). 

Then they found out that Rebekah couldn’t have children.  They prayed for a miracle and they believed.  After all, Isaac himself was the miracle baby of a 90 year old woman and a 100 year old man.  Twenty years later Isaac was still praying.  Twenty years of faith and hope. It was worth it.

. . . the Lord granted his plea, and Rebekah his wife conceived (Genesis 24:21).

But there were complications, and Rebekah feared she would lose the baby.  Everyone around her was so positive, so full of “It’ll be fines” and “Don’t worry about its” that it made Rebekah sick.  Her anxiety turned to anger.  How could they know it would be all right if none of them knew what was wrong.

. . . and she said, “If all is well, why am I like this?” (Genesis 24:22)

“Only God knows, “ someone probably said, which sounded like the one helpful affirmation they had to offer.

So she went to inquire of the Lord (Genesis 24:22).

It’s hard to reconstruct exactly how Rebekah inquired of the Lord.  Did she seek out a surviving priest from Melchizedek’s order?  Did she ask her father-in-law Abraham (who was still living) to offer a sacrifice on her behalf?  Did she travel up the mountain to where her husband had nearly been sacrificed and cry out to the Angel of the Lord?  Maybe she just found a quiet spot away from the annoyingly positive masses.  Which ever way, it worked.

 And the Lord said to her: “Two nations are in your womb.  Two peoples shall be separated from your body.  One people shall be stronger than the other, and the older shall serve the younger.” (Genesis 25:23)

For us post New Testament believers God’s revelation to Rebekah sound ominous.  We know the long story of deception, anger, and mistrust between these brothers.  We know that their respective descendants waged ethnic war on each other for centuries.  But Rebekah didn’t hear any of that. 

Rebekah’s husband Isaac was given a greater birthright  than Ishmael who was 13 years his older brother.  It didn’t seem strange or tragic that her younger twin would outshine a brother older only by a few minutes.  So Rebekah didn’t hear an ominous warning.  She heard: I’m pregnant with twins.  My babies will be born healthy.  My sons will grow up to be great men.  Rebekah heard a blessing not a warning.

Rebekah was right.  At least, she could have been.

By the time Esau and Jacob, aka “Red” and “Tricky,” were young men the twins had firmly established polar-opposite identities.  Esau was the hairy-chested outdoorsman, and Jacob was the smart, introverted mama’s-boy (Genesis 25: 28). But that wasn’t what made them enemies. 

Their parents made them enemies.

One day, Esau came home hungry and Jacob said, “ I’ll give you some red stew if  you sell me your birthright as of this day.” (Genesis 25:29-31).

 

That’s too specific to be random.  There’s backstory to that proposition, a long history of little brother telling big brother:

“I’ll help you start the fire if you give me your birthright.”

“I’ll let you play with my toy if you let me have your birthright.”

“You can have my dessert if you let me have your right to the blessings of the firstborn.”

And why would young Jacob have it in his head to pester his brother for his birthright?  Why would any kid in the ancient world think that there was any chance that the eldest son would slip up and surrender the most important status any child could hold?

Because he was his mother’s favorite child and she had told him that God told her that he was destined to dominate his brother, so he was to keep asking until he got what God and Mama wanted him to have.

And why would any son agree to trade the greater claim to all the riches of Isaac and Abraham for the low-low price of a bowl of stew (and complimentary bread)?

Because his twin brother had been asking this question since they were little, and he didn’t take it seriously anymore, and it was just a thing they said, and whatever man, I’m hungry.

In other words, Jacob was a pest, Esau was an idiot (Hebrews 12:16, 17), and their parents turned that into actual, fatal enmity.

From the moment of Genesis 25:29, Jacob was legally entitled to the blessings of the firstborn,  a fact about which Isaac, the giver of  the blessings, should have been informed.  But either Rebekah thought it a better idea to direct an elaborate prank complete with lines, costumes, and (bad) voice acting; or Isaac ignored Jacob’s inheritance rights (Genesis 27).

Mama made Jacob lie.  Daddy tried to pass over both prophesy and the transfer of inheritance rights.  Jacob and Esau played their parts in a drama composed by their parents.  And the Israelites and Edomites waged war with each other for the duration of the Old Testament.

Rebekah and Isaac took  a double blessing and turn it into a half curse.

But it didn't have to be that way, and it doesn't have to be that way for us.  Do what Rebekah and Isaac should have done. 

1.  Mom and Dad, tell each other the truth up front.
If Isaac and Rebekah had created a culture of honesty then their sons would've been less likely to deceive each other or at least less likely to think the deception would be accepted by their parents.

2.  Love your children equally.  

Children often compete for parental affection, but parents are to have better sense than to stoke that competition.

3.  Plan together,  how to walk out God's will for your family.   A house divided can't stand.  A family united can stand anything.

Honesty. Love. Unity.

The way God meant for it to be. 

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

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