A Father's Day Follow-up Blog
Abraham was a father.
Abraham was all kinds of fathers, well 5 kinds.
1. Abraham was an uncle who was like a father.
Haran begot Lot. And
Haran died before his father Terah in his native land, in Ur of the Chaldeans.
. . Then Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot his brother’s son, and all their
possessions that they had gathered, and the people whom they had acquired in
Haran, and they departed to go to the land of Canaan (Genesis 11: 27, 28;
12:5).
After Lot’s dad and grandad died in the city for which Lot’s
father was named (or the city named for Lot’s father), Abraham took his nephew into his
household. When God called them to complete the journey their father Terah
had begun (Genesis 11:31), the patriarch brought his nephew along.
Abraham loved Lot. He gave Lot herds and flocks and land out of what he gained in Egypt and Canaan. When the young man and his staff started to chafe under Abraham’s rules and closeness, Abraham offered him first choice of the available pastures and his blessing. When warring kings kidnapped Lot, Uncle Abraham immediately launched a rescue mission and in the aftermath of the mission, when the other kings tried to acquire Lot and his people as slaves, Abraham refused to sell them out even though it cost him his share of the spoils of the battle (Genesis 14). When Lot became an adult, Abraham referred to him as his “brother” (Genesis 14:14), but he provided for and protected him as a father would a son.
Abraham loved Lot. He gave Lot herds and flocks and land out of what he gained in Egypt and Canaan. When the young man and his staff started to chafe under Abraham’s rules and closeness, Abraham offered him first choice of the available pastures and his blessing. When warring kings kidnapped Lot, Uncle Abraham immediately launched a rescue mission and in the aftermath of the mission, when the other kings tried to acquire Lot and his people as slaves, Abraham refused to sell them out even though it cost him his share of the spoils of the battle (Genesis 14). When Lot became an adult, Abraham referred to him as his “brother” (Genesis 14:14), but he provided for and protected him as a father would a son.
When the Lord told Abraham of His plan to destroy Sodom,
Gomorrah, and the other cities of the valley Abraham must have thought of his
nephew living in Sodom because Uncle Abraham negotiated with God for
the salvation of the wicked city. Though there
weren’t even 10 righteous men in all of Sodom, the faith of Lot’s uncle and
surrogate father saved Lot and his family from dying with the sinful citizens
of Sodom.
And it came to pass,
when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and
sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities in
which Lot had dwelt (Genesis 19:29).
A father is an agent of spiritual covering for his
children. When a man steps into the
space left vacant by a father who died or walked away, that man, like Uncle Abraham, can administer spiritual covering to his surrogate children.
You may never replace your nephew’s/ neice’s/ grandchild’s/
little cousin’s/ foster child’s biological father because losing a parent is a lot of pain to
process. Young adult Lot’s rebellion against
Abraham might have reflected the lingering grief of and anger of a child whose
father and mother “died on him” while he was still young. Nevertheless the man who stands in the gap
as a father figure can, like Uncle Abraham, cover their surrogate child in
prayer with the same faith that covers their own biological children.
2. Abraham was a mentor who was like a father.
Eliezer worked for Abraham.
He became Abraham’s steward, his right-hand man, but Eliezer wasn’t just
a trusted employee. Eliezer was for all
intents and purposes, a member of Abraham’s family. No.
More than that.
Before Abraham’s first biological child was born, Abraham had
named Eliezer as his legal heir.
But Abram said, “Lord
God, what will You give me, seeing I go childless, and the heir of my house is
Eliezer of Damascus?” (Genesis 15:2)
Eliezer was like a son to Abraham.
When Ishmael and Isaac were born, Abraham changed his will
to direct the inheritance to his son; but Eliezer never lost his place of trust
and significance in the house of Abraham.
Through all the drama that arose in the family, Eliezer remained loyal,
and when the time came, it was (apparently) Eliezer whom God guided to the
woman who would marry Isaac and become the literal mother of Israel (Genesis
24).
Abraham was over 147 years old when Eliezer brought Rebekah
out of Syria and into Isaac’s arms. It
may be a long time before the young ones you mentor, teach, train, advocate
for, and love are in a position to help
you. It’s likely that you’ll never have
to call on them for aid. But, by mentoring a younger generation, you
develop a pool of future leaders who can bless you and who will bless the
world.
3. Abraham let
becoming an ex-husband make him an ex-father.
Because Sarah couldn’t get pregnant, Abraham took a 2nd
wife, an employee named Hagar.
So Hagar bore Abram a son; and Abram named his
son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael (Genesis 16: 15).
Abraham loved Ishmael.
He didn’t even want another son.
When the Lord appeared to remind Abraham that the promised descendants
were still to come through Sarah, Abraham
said to God, “Oh, that Ishmael might live before You!” (Genesis 16: 18)
But when Isaac was born, Sarah demanded that Abraham divorce
Hagar and disown Ishmael. Therefore
she said to Abraham, “Cast out this bondwoman and her son; for the son of this
bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, namely with Isaac” (Genesis
21:10).
Abraham didn’t want to lose Ishmael, but God allowed the
breakup, promising to take care of Ishmael and make a nation of the son of the
bondwoman, because he is your seed” (Genesis 21:11-13). God’s response indicated that though
Abraham’s and Hagar’s marriage needed to end,
Ishmael was still under God’s favor and, thus, Abraham and Ishmael could
stay connected without threatening the covenant God would execute through
Isaac.
In other words, Abraham had to divorce his 2nd
wife but not his eldest son. But based on
what’s in scripture, Ishmael didn’t see his father again until his
funeral.
Millenia later, the descendants of Ishmael founded a new
religion and called it Islam. Central to
the Muslim faith is a narrative of the life of Father Abraham in which Ishmael
is the promised child and the Jews, as descendants of Isaac, are usurpers of
Ishmael’s rightful place.
Because Daddy Abraham let baby mama drama estrange him from
his eldest son, Osama Bin Laden funded the 9/11 attacks. Because Daddy Abraham allowed the break-up of
his marriage to Hagar to be the breakdown of his role in his son’s life, the
term “radical Islamist terrorist” is part of our common vocabulary.
Sometimes, the dissolution of a marriage or relationship is
so bitter that one party keeps the child
away from the other. Sometimes that
separation is warranted. Most of the
times I’ve seen, the separation isn’t. If you CAN’T see your child, neither God
nor I fault you.
But if you just DON’T see your child ---- bro, you’re
wrong. You’re as wrong as Abraham. Maybe more wrong because at least Abraham had
a Divine guarantee that his son would be all right. Ishmael lived 137 years and became the
patriarch of 12 nations of his own (Genesis 25:13-18), but thousands of years
later the pain of Dad’s abandonment still afflicts those of Ishmael’s blood.
As far as it is in your power, don’t let the differences
between you and your ex prevent you from seeing, teaching, rearing, and loving the
children you and they share. It’s so much
harder when you two aren’t together, but the extra effort may save the world a
lot of trouble in the long run.
Every father has a legacy through his children. That legacy may be good or evil. Abraham’s legacy with Ishmael is negative.
But his legacy with Isaac is positive. Not perfect, but positive.
4. Abraham became a faith-full father.
When his relationship with Ishmael fell apart, Abraham
focused all of his paternal affection on Isaac.
He loved Isaac like he was his only
son (Genesis 22: 2). Abraham loved
Isaac so much that you had to wonder if he loved Isaac more than he loved God. So, God devised an extreme test. He told Abraham,“Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom
you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering
on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you” (Genesis 22:2).
Abraham obediently took his son to the sacred site, but before
he and Isaac went up to the altar, Daddy Abraham told the rest of their party, “Stay here with the donkey; the lad and I
will go yonder and worship, and we will come back to you” (Genesis 22:5).
Abraham’s whole heart was tied up in Isaac: all of his hopes, all sense of purpose for
his labors, and struggles, and losses resided in the life of the only son he had
left. But Abraham’s FAITH was tied up in
God. Abraham believed that the Lord had
not brought Isaac this far to leave him.
Abraham believed that God would fulfill all the promises He’d made, and
God had promised to make a great nation out of Isaac’s descendants. Abraham believed that even if he gave his son
to God, God would give him back. This
was Abraham’s legacy of faith.
(Note: If YOU take
your child out to sacrifice them to God, you’re going to a highly secure psychiatric hospital and your child is going
into foster care. In fact, if you
believe you’re hearing God tell you to sacrifice your child, call the
department of mental health and after you explain and give your address ask
them to transfer you to DHR.)
As a father, Abraham failed in several spectacularly tragic
ways. But with Isaac, Abraham
successfully combined a bottomless store of fatherly love with unerring faith
in his God into
such a deep and immovable foundation that the family’s
religious faith survived being surrounded by pagans and polytheists. It survived famine and the betrayal of
brothers. It survived immersion in
Egyptian culture and centuries of discrimination and slavery. The faith bequeathed by Abraham survived
wilderness and war and exile and the attempts at eradication by the greatest
empires of man.
Abraham’s love and faith were so genuine and absolute that
after seriously intending to stab and burn Isaac on a sacrificial altar, father and son still had a strong relationship.
Think about how deep your father-son connection has to be to walk out of
that incident together, continue living in the same camp, and trust your father
to arrange your marriage.
LOVE and FAITH.
Love your children with all you have. Be good to them. Be good for them. And trust God. In thought, word, deed, and demeanor be the
greatest example of faith in God that your children could ever experience. Be a loving father full of faith so that no
matter what happens to you or between you all, your children will KNOW beyond a
shadow of any doubt that Daddy loves them and God is real.
But DON’T offer your kid as a human sacrifice.
But the Angel of the
Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!”
So he said, “Here I
am.”
And He said, “Do not
lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him (Genesis 22:11-12).
5. Abraham was a human father. He failed, but he kept trying to do
better.
Abraham didn’t like being alone. After Sarah died and Isaac started their own
family, Abraham again took a wife, and
her name was Keturah (Genesis 25:1).
Yes, he was somewhere north of 147 years old at the
time. And yes, they had children: six
boys (Genesis 25:2-4).
But the time Abraham’s and Keturah’s boys came of age, Isaac
was established as the primary heir to Abraham’s lands and connections. Abraham
gave all that he had to Isaac (Genesis 25:5). But, old Daddy Abraham didn’t make the same
mistake he’d made with Ishmael. He
didn’t leave them with nothing. He gave them enough wealth to set themselves up out of town. Abraham
gave gifts to the sons of the concubines which Abraham had; and while he was
still living he sent them eastward, away from Isaac his son, to the country of
the east (Genesis 25:6). Abraham
tried to balance the favor/ favoritism toward Isaac with fatherly love and
fairness to his youngest children.
One of Abraham’s and Keturah’s sons founded the Midianite
nation. The Midianites eventually fell
into general idolatry and tried to spiritually sabotage Israel in the
wilderness (Numbers 25). However, some
of the children of Midian remembered the faith that Father Abraham had taught
them. One of them was a shepherd-priest
named Jethro, or Reuel.
Jethro did for Moses what Abraham had done for Eliezer and
Lot. (Exodus 2; 4; 18). Jethro took Moses in, mentored him in the
faith of Abraham and the ways of a good shepherd. He made Moses part of his family (Exodus
2:15), supported Moses in his calling (Exodus 4:18), celebrated Moses’ success
and with his wife and children, and shared wise advice (Exodus 18).
Through 500-plus years, Abraham’s faith endured among the
descendants of his 3rd wife.
Even Ishmael’s descendants, after centuries of apostasy, remembered
Abraham and returned, in Islam, to reverence for the Old Testament.
Abraham was a great and imperfect man, a human and,
therefore, flawed father. But he tried
and kept trying. It paid off.
Eliezer did well. Ishmael
did well. Isaac did well. Midian did well. Even after the craziness that happened to Lot
after Sodom (Genesis 19:30-38), his descendants Ruth (book of Ruth) and Naamah (1
Kings 14:21) joined the royal and messianic lineage of Abraham.
HOPE, FAITH, LOVE.
No matter what kinds of father you are, you will be an imperfect
one. Recognize your failures but never stop trying to
do better.
Love your children and your adopted children and your community
proteges and your children by your ex and your children by your baby’s mother and
your stepkids and your other kids. However
you are made their father, love them. Love them and trust God.
Believe that the Lord has power, grace, and favor enough for
all your sons and daughters.
Teach your children to believe. Fill all of them with a sense of hope, with
the knowledge that no matter how their family is built or broken, God has a plan
for them, a plan for good and not for evil, to give them a future and a hope.
--Anderson T. Graves II is a writer,
community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural
leadership development.
Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME
Church in Fairfield, Alabama. He writes a blog called A Word to the Wise at
www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves
Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves
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