OUR BABY'S DADDY WHO ART IN HEAVEN

I love my father who is in Bassfield, Mississippi.  Now that I’m a husband and father myself I understand his paternal decision-making process much more clearly.  I appreciate the wisdom and provision he supplied.  I empathize with his mistakes and forgive his shortcomings.   Now I do.

But when I was a younger man I had major daddy issues. 

At one point, I literally hated my father; so I wasn’t all that enthusiastic when the preachers hooped and hollered about me having another Father, in Heaven.  Heck, I was having enough trouble with the one I had on Earth.

One of the reasons (one of several) that teenage me didn’t embrace the  offer of salvation was that in my mind God up there was just like Daddy down here, and I didn’t want to commit my life to someone that mean----- a good provider, a good protector, but definitely not somebody I wanted to live with for freakin’ ever, and ever, and ever.

Our understanding of God THE Father begins with our understanding of what it means to be A father, which is based on the ways we perceive our human dads.

And society has major daddy issues.

The National Fatherhood Institute calculates that there are 70.1 million fathers in America.  In 2012, only 24.4 million of those fathers were part of married-couple families with children younger than 18.

Other studies found that in 2012, 24 percent of children in America lived with only their mothers; or to put it another way, ¼ of American kids live without their dads.

67% of Black children are born to single mothers.   Or, we could say that 2 out of 3 Black children are born of a father who has not made a legal or religious commitment to their family.   (And the state committing a man to child support is not the same as a man committing himself to be their father who is in the house.)

Society has major daddy issues.

And our daddy issues affect how we think about and interact with God the Father.

We don’t interact with God like He’s our Father in Heaven.  We treat God like He’s our Baby’s Daddy Who is in Heaven.

We give God our Baby’s Daddy weekend visits. Sundays, mostly after 10 A.M. We usually arrive late and we never want to stay past the usual time.

God our Father wants to be a constant, 7-day-a-week presence in the same home where we spend the rest of the 7 days.  God our Father wants His house to be YOUR house, not just the place you stop by a couple weekends a month.

We expect God our Baby’s Daddy to pay what we think He owes without getting all up in our business.  We have even found the language to seek legal “decrees and declarations” in our favor without addressing the deeper issues of our relationship with God.

God our Father is more than a source of prosperity payments.  He wants and deserves head-of-the-household influence over our decisions.  We owe Him the confidence and access to our lives that a Bride of Christ gives to her Bridegroom.

With all our hearts we blame God our Baby’s Daddy for everything wrong, and we give only superficial appreciation for the good He does.  “Why did You let my child get arrested, Lord?” conveniently forgetting all the parenting decisions we made contrary to what the Bible teaches.

We say, “I thank the Lord that He gave me the gifts to raise my child well,” apparently not noticing how we manage to make praising Him still be all about praising ourselves.

We treat the Lord of the universe like an absentee Baby’s Daddy and the Lord of the Universe replies,  “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am the Father, where is My honor? And if I am a Master, where is My reverence?” Says the Lord of hosts to you priests who despise My name…. (Malachi 1: 6)     

God knows what you’re thinking.  So the passage continues: Yet you say, ”In what way have we despised Your name?”

The next verses from Malachi chapter 1 are an index of the people’s disobedience and disrespect to God.  Not the sins of pagans, but the offenses of those who say, Our Father Who is in Heaven.

“Should I accept this from your hand?”  says the Lord. (Malachi 1: 13)

God our Father asks us, “Do you really think that I’m supposed to take this mess from you?”

The children of God have daddy issues.

As I grew up I came to understand what my human father had to deal with.  I started talking  to him and listening, really listening to what he said about who he is and what he had tried ---- imperfectly, but sincerely and lovingly----- to do for my good. 

I resolved my daddy issues and released the resentment I’d held.  I forgave and I received forgiveness.  I gained an ally I had not realized I’d always had.  I gained a mentor whose gifts I could then see in myself.  I gained an advisor whose words help me be a better me.  I gained my father. 

The children of God can resolve our Daddy issues, but we first have to acknowledge that we have some.  We have to repent and ask God to forgive us for misunderstanding Him, for underrating His love, and for undervaluing His authority. 

But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand. Do not be furious, O Lord, nor remember iniquity forever.  Indeed, please look—we all are Your people!  (Isaiah 64: 8, 9)     

We have to let go of the resentment that we have held against our Father Who is in Heaven.  He doesn’t deserve it.  Though our human dads may have failed us, our Heavenly Father is not subject to human failings. We have to read His Words about Himself and listen, really listen to what our Heavenly says about Who He is and what He is doing---- perfectly and lovingly----- for our good.  Doubtless You are our Father, though Abraham was ignorant of us, and Israel does not acknowledge us… (Isaiah 63: 16a)

God is the Father we always wanted.  God is the Father we have always needed. 

You, O Lord, are our Father; our Redeemer from Everlasting is Your name. (Isaiah 63: 16b)

Especially in a world where good father-child relationships are so rare,  a genuine personal relationship with God our Father has never been more precious.   

And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!”  (Galatians 4:6)

And according to Jesus Himself, that relationship is where prayer begins.

“Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.”

So Jesus said to them, “When you pray, say: Our Father Who is in heaven…”

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
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To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

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