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Thursday, April 12, 2018

ACT 3: RELEASE (conclusion of Healing in 3 Acts)


Act 3.  RELEASE



Joseph, son of Israel, had been into a pit in the Middle Eastern sun, sold into slavery, taken to a foreign land, exploited, sexually assaulted, falsely imprisoned as a sex-offender, further exploited, and forgotten.    All of this because the men who should have mentored and protected, his own older brothers, had betrayed him. 

Now, in the closing chapters of the book of Genesis, Joseph was the 2nd most powerful man in the Biblical world.  But the pain of his brothers’ treachery was a deep wound, infected with bitterness, and when those men showed up in Egypt the stitches burst and Joseph hurt all over again.

Either the pain of his past would consume him, or Joseph would have to heal. And so, Joseph son of Israel began a 3 part journey to healing.  I’ve recounted that journey is this blog series:  Healing in 3 Acts. 

Act 1:  LISTEN.   Hear the story your bullies/ tormentors/ haters/ enemies tell themselves about the hurt they did to you. 

Then they said to one another, “We are truly guilty concerning our brother, for we saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us, and we would not hear; therefore this distress has come upon us.”
 And Reuben answered them, saying, “Did I not speak to you, saying, ‘Do not sin against the boy’; and you would not listen? Therefore behold, his blood is now required of us.”
But they did not know that Joseph understood them, for he spoke to them through an interpreter.
And he turned himself away from them and wept. Then he returned to them again, and talked with them. And he took Simeon from them and bound him before their eyes. (Genesis 42: 21-24).

Act 2:  WATCH. Look honestly at the present truth of who those people are now and who you now are. 

Judah said, “Now therefore, please let [me] remain instead of the lad as a slave to my lord, and let the lad [Benjamin] go up with his brothers. For how shall I go up to my father if the lad is not with me, lest perhaps I see the evil that would come upon my father?” (Genesis 44: 33-34)
. . . And Joseph said to his brothers, . . . “I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life. . .  And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt. (Genesis 45: 4-8)

And now, the 3rd stage of the story of healing from old spiritual wounds.

ACT 3: RELEASE. 

You are carrying an emotional ledger with all the debts they owe you for what they did to you.  That account keeps them tied to you and you chained to them continually returning to that old hurt to collect a debt that ---- when you see the whole truth ---- they can NEVER repay.   There may be legal or social justice for their crimes, but no ruling will release you from the connection your soul keeps retying to those memories.  

Only you can release you.

And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven (Matthew 16:19).

The key is truth. Turn the key. 

You know the truth, as best you can, of the past:  from your perspective and from theirs--- the whole truth.  You see the reality of the present truth for them and for yourself.  It is truth that set you free, but possessing the key isn’t enough.  You have to exert the strength to turn the key and open the chains.

With the truth secure, release yourself by releasing them.  


Jesus said: “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses” (Mark 11: 25).

Forgive them.

When, knowing the truth you grant forgiveness to those who wronged you, you receive release from the spiritual chains that hold you in anger and unforgiveness of yourself.

You need to forgive them, but that doesn’t mean you have to trust them.

We say “forgive and forget” but that’s not a logical pairing.  A healthy mind doesn’t just lose memories.  


What we really mean is “forgive and TRUST.”  It’s not as catchy a phrase without the alliteration, but that’s what we really mean.  Forgive them for what they did and then trust them as if they’d never done it.  Trust them all over again as if you had forgotten what they did.

You can forgive and trust as if you’d forgiven and forgotten.  You can, but the Bible doesn’t say you have to.

God commands forgiveness.  God commands generosity and helpfulness toward those who wronged you.  But God doesn’t command you to pretend the wrong never happened.

Nope.  No.

Joseph forgave his older brothers.  He forgave them and gave them good land in Goshen on the eastern border of Egypt. 

You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near to me, you and your children, your children’s children, your flocks and your herds, and all that you have (Genesis 45:9-10).

He forgave them and got them good jobs as Pharaoh’s personal shepherds.

Then Pharaoh spoke to Joseph, saying, “Your father and your brothers have come to you. The land of Egypt is before you. Have your father and brothers dwell in the best of the land; let them dwell in the land of Goshen. And if you know any competent men among them, then make them chief herdsmen over my livestock” (Genesis 47:1-10).

He forgave them and fed them during the famine. 

Then Joseph provided his father, his brothers, and all his father’s household with bread, according to the number in their families (Genesis 47: 12).

He forgave them and continued to bless them with the favor of Egypt even after their father died.    He forgave, but he didn’t pretend to forget what they had done.

When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil which we did to him.”
. . .  Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? 20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. 21 Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them (Genesis 50: 15-21).

Forgiveness honors the truth.  Maybe the truth is you can trust them now.  And maybe the truth is: you will do all you can to help them lead a good life, but they can’t move back in with you.  So, forgive that dude who robbed you.  Help him find a legitimate job.  But maybe don’t recommend him for a cashier position, and don’t feel obligated to  share the code to your security system.




RELEASE yourself from bitterness. 
RELEASE yourself from the side of the old grudge you’re still holding up.
RELEASE yourself from the hold the old hurt has on you by forgiveness those who hurt you.  RELEASE yourself from the un-Biblical and irrational guilt over remembering.
RELEASE yourself so that the memory no longer hold power over you because you gave granted forgiveness in the full light of the truth of what was and what is.



LISTEN.  WATCH.  RELEASE.

Compose a new story for yourself.  Live the narrative that includes closure.  Be the protagonist who used to be afflicted with guilt but now is healed and whole.  Be the prisoner of pain who has been liberated.  Reject the old role of victim to the villains from your past.  Re-cast yourself.

Be the hero of your own story.

That’s how healing happened for Joseph.

That’s how healing can happen for you.
   

--Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama. He writes a blog called A Word to the Wise at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves 

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