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Genesis 35:21-22
Then Israel journeyed and pitched his tent beyond
the tower of Eder.
And it happened, when Israel dwelt in that land,
that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine; and Israel heard about
it (Genesis 35: 21-22).
In every family, there are lines that
must never be crossed. So what happens
when EVERYBODY in the family crosses EVERY line? Let’s
see.
Back in Genesis 29-30, Jacob, aka Israel,
married Leah, thinking he was marrying her sister Rachel. Then he married Rachel, too. As part of their dowries and the custom of the
wealthy classes at the time, each of the brides had a handmaiden. A handmaiden, or maid, was a lifetime servant like the ladies in waiting of European
royalty. Leah’s maid was named Zilpah. Rachel’s maid was Bilhah. To provide their
husband with more children, Rachel and Leah made Jacob marry their maids, too.
Why they did that involves a complex mix
of ancient perceptions of a woman’s worth being tied to her ability to give her
husband children, legal precedent for higher class women adopting/claiming/ abducting
their servants’ children to tweak their fertility stats, and the timeless human
tradition of ignoring and repeating the history of really bad ideas (see Sarah,
Abraham, and Hagar). From all that,
Zilpah and Bilhah went from maids to concubines. Concubines were kinda not full wives, but they
were definitely fully off limits to any other man, which brings us to Reuben,
the eldest son of Israel.
Reuben did a very bad thing.
“And it happened, when Israel dwelt in
that land, that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine; and
Israel heard about it.” (Genesis 35: 22)
Yep.
Reuben, first of the 12 patriarchs of the Jewish nation, slept with his
stepmom who was also the mother of 2 of his brothers.1
His dad found out and nothing. Verse 23 moves on to a whole other subject
and nobody mentions the affair until Israel brings it up on his deathbed 40
years later. Yep. The oldest son and and his stepmom had
sex, everybody knew, and for 40 years they acted like it hadn’t happened.
And this was just the latest line in a
long line of lines that no one should ever cross, but they did.
The only sister in this family had been
raped and Dad basically did nothing about it. Her brothers responded by killing every male
human remotely connected to the rapist, AND kidnapping all the women in their
town.
Dad had 4 wives, but he only loved one, and
he didn’t particularly care for the children of his 3 baby-mamas. That’s 11 out of 13 kids knowing their Dad
who wants them to kick rocks. And
that’s 3 women whose husband has affection-less sex with them.
Now, none of this justifies an affair
between a man’s third wife and first son; but in such a broken and ugly
atmosphere, when the oldest unloved son and the youngest unloved concubine were
likely part of the same generation, Reuben and Bilhah’s affair was not the most
surprising development in the family’s history.
Reuben and Bilhah made a choice: a
wrong, wrong, eww, wrong choice. Nobody
made them do what they did. But. But the culture created by the head(s) of a household
define the natural flow of decisions. In
Jacob’s house the current flowed in the wrong, wrong, eww, wrong
direction.
Parents matter. The culture we create in our homes will push our
children toward good or toward evil. Yes, every child can use their free will to
defy the odds either way. But every
statistic in history agrees that it is hard to swim upstream. And that’s why God gives us rules.
The Law and its more perfect evolution,
the Gospel, lay out guideposts for ordering the culture of our families and
communities. In a sense, the Bible is a really long manual
for course correction.
In Genesis, the Lord gave some
individual revelations and a few prophetic nudges in the right direction, but
for the most part God let people structure family and community according to
the dictates of conscience and circumstance.
Well, we see how well that worked.
Reuben and Bilhah’s affair was one of
several relationships that caused so much damage and drama they inspired a
whole set of course-corrections in the
Mosaic law:
·
Reuben
and Bilhah’s Law. Leviticus 18: 8 The nakedness of your father’s wife you
shall not uncover; it is your father’s nakedness.
·
Lot and His
Daughters’ Law. Leviticus 18: 7 The nakedness of your father or the
nakedness of your mother you shall not uncover. She is your mother; you shall
not uncover her nakedness. Abraham and Sarah’s Law. Leviticus
18: 9 The nakedness of your sister, the daughter of your
father, or the daughter of your mother, whether born at home or elsewhere,
their nakedness you shall not uncover.
·
Judah
and Tamar’s Law. Leviticus 18: 15 You
shall not uncover the nakedness of your daughter-in-law—she is your son’s
wife—you shall not uncover her nakedness.
·
Rachel
and Leah’s Law. Leviticus 18: 18 Nor shall you take a woman as a rival
to her sister, to uncover her nakedness while the other is alive.
·
Amram
and Jochebed (Moses’ parents) Law. Leviticus 18: 12 You shall
not uncover the nakedness of your father’s sister; she is near of kin to your
father. 13 You shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s
sister, for she is near of kin to your mother.
The children of the newly prohibited
relationships often became wonderful, mightily anointed people. Nevertheless, the relationships that produced
them were terrible ideas that were now officially wrong, eww, wrong. Leviticus
18 was God saying, “Don’t do that mess anymore.”
Now remember, God delivered the Law to
the descendants of Jacob’s 4 wives and 13 kids. The Law was also God’s way of
saying to the heirs of family dysfunction, “You can be better. Here’s how.”
We have the Law, the prophets, and the
Gospel. We have the full manual for
correcting the course of our culture. With
the Bible as our guide, we can establish a fresh current that pulls our
descendants toward good and not evil, toward happy families not dysfunctional ones. And yes, each descendant may choose a
different direction, but most of them will swim downstream.
1 The phrasing in verse 22, contrasted to the report
of Dinah’s sexual assault in chapter 34, indicates: (1) Reuben’s and Dinah’s hookup
was consensual; and (2) they tried to be sneaky but Daddy found out.
---Anderson T. Graves II is a writer,
community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural
leadership development.
Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of
Miles Chapel CME
Church in Fairfield, Alabama. He writes a blog called
A Word to the Wise at
www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Support by check or money order may be mailed to
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132
Fairfield, Al 35064
