EULOGY FOR SARAH MAE HARRIS

This eulogy for Ms. Sarah Mae Harris is titled: THE MOTHER ON THE SHORE.

Listen well.

If you can’t get the audio on your device, visit the main podcast page at http://revandersongraves.podomatic.com/   

The podcast is on iTunes at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/anderson-graves-podcast/id918990482

 --Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Bailey Tabernacle CME Church in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He writes the popular blog: A Word to the Wise at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com

Email: BaileyTabernacleChurch@comcast.net

Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves 

Click here to support this ministry with a donation.  Or go to andersontgraves.blogspot.com and click on the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar. 

Visit the ministry’s website at baileytabernaclecme.org

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 

Bailey Tabernacle CME Church

P.O. Box 3145 

Tuscaloosa, Alabama 35403

HER HEALING: OUR HELP

A message for Pink Sunday, inspired by breast cancer survivors but made for all of us.

The sermon is called HER HEALING --- OUR HOPE. 

Listen well.

If you can’t get the audio on your device, visit the main podcast page at http://revandersongraves.podomatic.com/

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

GOD DOESN'T LIKE YOUR DATE, EITHER

If a woman vows a vow to the Lord and binds herself by a pledge, while within her father's house in her youth, and her father hears it and says nothing to her, then all her vows and pledges shall stand. But if her father opposes her on the day that he hears of it, none of the promises she made will stand against her.

 And the Lord will forgive her, because her father said, “No.” (Numbers 30: 3-5, my paraphrase)

I had the meeting I’ve expected and dreaded for the last 16 years. (I’m including the months of pregnancy after we found out it was a girl)   I met the boy who wants to take my daughter out on a date.

It was a very old-school meeting.  He came to my home, we took a walk, and I interrogated him.  I met his mother, who happens to be a friend of my wife’s, and before the evening was over, I’d also met his father.  They’re a nice family.  He seems like a quality young man.

I hate him.

But I’m going to let him take my daughter away from my house, alone with him in a car, at night. 

If he weren’t dating my daughter, I’d like this young man.  But he is, so I proceed with him in a relationship based on my overt suspicion of his every move and motive.

As our Father, God recognizes that we will spend time with the world.  He understands that it is natural for us to have relationships with “them.”  And though God so loves the whole world that He gave His only begotten Son, make no mistake, God does not trust them---- not with us.

Therefore “Come out from among them and be separate,” says the Lord. “Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you.  I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters,” says the Lord Almighty.”  (2 Corinthians 6: 17, 18)

Ultimately, our Heavenly Father wants for us what I want for my daughter.  God wants us to choose the right groom, the One who will love us like our Father does.

Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me.  (John 8:42)

In the meantime, God knows that all of us have to fumble our way through the awkwardness of spiritual courtship in this world.  And I, the earthly father, have to give my daughter the freedom and tools to navigate the dating process without losing herself until she finds and chooses “the one” who will love her as much as I do.

Now that I’m in this stage of fatherhood, I understand God better.  I feel something of His pain when He sent Adam and Eve out of the protection of the Garden and let them go from Him, alone, in a car with the world.  As I consider my own internal turmoil, I can only imagine the----- the ----- the what-even-is the-word?    The anxiety (?) God must endure every second of every day over each of the billions of His children who are courted by the world.

But God gives us the freedom and , by His Word, the tools to negotiate the seductions of this life without losing ourselves.   And if out of the security of a loving relationship with God, we will apply our Father’s wise instructions, then one day He will have the joy of giving us away to live the rest of our eternal lives with the right Groom.

Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” (Revelations 19: 7)

In the meantime though, make no mistake.  God does not and is not going to like any of the boys His daughters date. 

And I don’t think God has a problem with me feeling that way, too.  As Jesus said, “I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me, for they are Yours.” (John 17: 9)

Which was Jesus’ way of saying what I told this boy and won’t hesitate to tell the next one.

“You seem nice; but when it come to my daughter, son, I really don’t like you.”

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com

Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To listen to sermons and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can help support this ministry by clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to

Hall Memorial CME Church

541 Seibles Road

Montgomery, AL 36116

: GROW UP AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE

How can you be a child of God and yet walk in such weakness and brokenness and lack of blessing?  How do you access all of the blessings promised to children of God.

Find out in a  Youth Sunday sermon for youth and adults alike.  The sermon is called: GROW UP AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Listen well.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer, and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church and the executive director of SAYNO (Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization) in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

You can help support this Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Or send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail should be addressed to:
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

MAMA, WHAT YOU CALL THEM---- THAT’S WHO THEY’LL BE

The Mother’s Day message is called MAMA, WHAT YOU CALL THEM---- THAT’S WHO THEY’LL BE.

Listen well.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer, and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church and the executive director of SAYNO (Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization) in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

You can help support this Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Or send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail should be addressed to:
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

OUTFIT OR EXPECTATION?

I'm not in the military.  But, if  I dressed like a soldier, and if I dressed my son like a soldier every day, what would you think I wanted my son to be when he grew up?    More importantly, what would my son assume I expected of him when he grew up?

…… A soldier, right?    

O.K.

Now they say, "A picture is worth a thousand words," so do this for me.   If you are the parent of a jr. high or high school age daughter, do an internet image search for the phrase "hooker costume" or "prostitute costume." 

Then look through your and your daughter's closets.  (I'm not even kidding.)  Are there any wear-outside-the-house outfits in your home that look like what the rest of the world would call the costume of a prostitute?

Now, what do you expect your daughter to be when she grows up?

What are you dressing her like you expect her to be when she grows up?

What role are you modeling (literally) for her?

Yes, I’m just a man.  Who am I to tell you or your child how to dress? 

I’m not telling you or your child how to dress.   I’m simply asking you to consider what loud, unspoken, and universally understood message you are sending about your baby girl when you dress her in a thong, butt-length skirt, push-up bra, and stiletto heels ------ for a school field trip.

I don’t know you or what’s in your closet.  I don’t buy your clothes and I’m not telling you how to spend your hard earned money.

I’m simply asking you to see what your money is actually buying. What unspoken, but loud and repeated message are you giving your daughter about the role you expect her to play in her relationships?

I’m not telling you who she is.  I’m not predicting the kind of person she’ll be. 

I am saying that it’s hard enough for any young lady to get the respect she deserves from the males who approach with their testosterone fueled agendas.  Why then would loving and thinking parents compound the difficulty by paying for a visual invitation to approach their daughter like she’s “not a good girl”?

My son may become a soldier no matter how I dress him.  My son may reject military service no matter what clothes I buy for him. 

But, if you instinctively understand that the way I dress my boy constitutes a push toward a certain lifestyle, then doesn’t the way you dress your girl also and equally matter?

I’m just asking.

(P.S.  I have a teenage daughter, and I do not dress my son like a soldier.)

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Call me at 334-288-0577
Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 29: 17

Proverbs 29: 17     Correct your son, and he will give you rest.  Yes, he will give delight to your soul.

Proverbs 29: 17.  I worry about my children.  I worry about their safety, their academic performance, their career prospect, their marriage prospects, etc., etc.  But mostly, I worry about them growing up to be good people.   I worry that they won’t be as smart, as wise, as strong, as generous, as careful, as confident, as humble, or as spiritually discerning as they need to be to thrive in the world they’ll face.   I worry about this----- a lot.  It keeps me awake some nights.

But, when I teach them something the worry goes away.  When I share a lesson about courage with my son, I have a moment of peace when I think, “Well, I know that he knows that.”

When I explain to my daughter how to think through her goals and walk toward fulfilling them, I sigh a little with relief and I think, “O.K., that’ll help her one day.”

These lessons aren’t always Hallmark moments. 

Sometimes there’s yelling.  (I’m yelling, not my kids.  Hmmph.)  Sometimes there are tears. (That’d be the kids crying.  I don’t cry in front of them except during worship.) Sometimes the teachable moment is “intense.”  But, my purpose is always to teach them, to correct them, to prepare them.

My wife worries that I’m too hard on them--- especially on our son.  (She’s a mama.  She’s supposed to worry about that .)  I’ve even caught some sideways looks out in public when I’ve had to “correct” him.

But what mothers and bystanders don’t see is the way my son looks at me when I pray with him at night.  Those looks bring delight to my soul.

Others don’t see the moments when my son or my daughter come to me and recount an incident in which he/she applied the lessons embedded in my fussing.  They’ll smile.  They sometimes say, “Thank you.”  The younger one will even hug me.  

I sleep in peace on those nights.

As an adolescent I hated how hard my father was, but as a man I understand better his spirit and his concerns.  I know that if he hadn’t been so strong then I would have grown up weaker. 

I remember my father’s eyes when I did things that made him worry that I wasn’t gonna make it (possibly because he might kill me before I finished high school).   When I see my father’s eyes now, I see pride-----and relief.   I’ve heard him sigh when I’ve recounted an incident in which I applied the lessons embedded in his fussing.  It gave delight to his soul.

When your children are wrong, put them in check and teach them better.  Do more than take up for them so that their lives are easier in the present.  Correct them so that they are better people in the future.

It’ll save you from a lot of sleepless nights in the future.  Parent well and when they grow up to be good people, they will give delight to your soul.

---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order.

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 29: 15. "What Do You Call It?"

Proverbs 29: 15     The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 29: 15.  If my son got sick and I didn’t take him to the doctor, or get him medicine, or do anything to comfort and care for him with whatever resources I have, then you’d cry, “Neglect.”  If left to himself my child drank what looked like medicine but was in fact poison, you’d condemn me for abuse or even a degree of murder; and you’d be right.

If I ate every day before I came home but my daughter was malnourished, and I never brought or prepared anything for her to eat, you’d call it neglect.  If left to herself she tried to cook a rotten, maggoty piece of meat and it made her too sick to get out of the house that was burning down from the grease fire she started because I never taught her to use a stove----- you’d call me a horrible parent and cry that I was responsible for the tragedy; and you’d be right.

We and our children live in a spiritually sick society.  Day after day media, peers, and unclean spiritual forces do all they can to infect our children. 

What should we call it, when parents ignores the symptoms of a child with a  sin-sick soul? 

What should we call it when parents offer no spiritual balm to the child who is feverish from the attacks of enemies trying to destroy him/her from the inside?

What words are appropriate or the “Christian” parent who says, “I don’t want to tell my children what to believe,” and so leaves his/her children unguided to drink whatever poison on world’s shelf looks like maybe it will ease their souls’ pain?

Isn’t that also NEGLECT?

Isn’t that also CHILD ABUSE?

We and our children live in a morally rotten world.  Our babies are hungry for truth.  They are starved for something real in this world of costumes and contrivances. 

So what is the correct description of parents who know this hunger from their own lives but who does nothing to give nourishing truth to the minds and hearts of their children?

What are the right terms for parents who leave their children to consume whatever filth and rottenness the culture leaves behind?

What is it when parents never teach their children how to process the garbage that media, human predators, and the devil’s forces want to feed them?

It is MORAL NEGLECT.  It is SPIRITUAL CHILD ABUSE.  It’s contributing to the delinquency of a generation; and parents are guilty.

No parents want to believe that “My children are that bad,” but they are.

No parents wants to think “It’s my fault,” but it is.

Yes, children have their own minds and they choose for themselves what to do; but children only choose from the options that their parents make available.  They don’t eat at home if we don’t bring groceries home.

They don’t read if we don’t bring home books.

They don’t get better if we don’t get them medicine and medical care.

They don’t live godly if we don’t bring prayer and the Bible and an example of godliness home with us.

If we don’t what we should do, then when they do wrong we are also guilty, and we ought to be ashamed.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Call me at 334-288-0577
Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 29: 15. "What Do You Call It?"

Proverbs 29: 15     The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 29: 15.  If my son got sick and I didn’t take him to the doctor, or get him medicine, or do anything to comfort and care for him with whatever resources I have, then you’d cry, “Neglect.”  If left to himself my child drank what looked like medicine but was in fact poison, you’d condemn me for abuse or even a degree of murder; and you’d be right.

If I ate every day before I came home but my daughter was malnourished, and I never brought or prepared anything for her to eat, you’d call it neglect.  If left to herself she tried to cook a rotten, maggoty piece of meat and it made her too sick to get out of the house that was burning down from the grease fire she started because I never taught her to use a stove----- you’d call me a horrible parent and cry that I was responsible for the tragedy; and you’d be right.

We and our children live in a spiritually sick society.  Day after day media, peers, and unclean spiritual forces do all they can to infect our children. 

What should we call it, when parents ignores the symptoms of a child with a  sin-sick soul? 

What should we call it when parents offer no spiritual balm to the child who is feverish from the attacks of enemies trying to destroy him/her from the inside?

What words are appropriate or the “Christian” parent who says, “I don’t want to tell my children what to believe,” and so leaves his/her children unguided to drink whatever poison on world’s shelf looks like maybe it will ease their souls’ pain?

Isn’t that also NEGLECT?

Isn’t that also CHILD ABUSE?

We and our children live in a morally rotten world.  Our babies are hungry for truth.  They are starved for something real in this world of costumes and contrivances. 

So what is the correct description of parents who know this hunger from their own lives but who does nothing to give nourishing truth to the minds and hearts of their children?

What are the right terms for parents who leave their children to consume whatever filth and rottenness the culture leaves behind?

What is it when parents never teach their children how to process the garbage that media, human predators, and the devil’s forces want to feed them?

It is MORAL NEGLECT.  It is SPIRITUAL CHILD ABUSE.  It’s contributing to the delinquency of a generation; and parents are guilty.

No parents want to believe that “My children are that bad,” but they are.

No parents wants to think “It’s my fault,” but it is.

Yes, children have their own minds and they choose for themselves what to do; but children only choose from the options that their parents make available.  They don’t eat at home if we don’t bring groceries home.

They don’t read if we don’t bring home books.

They don’t get better if we don’t get them medicine and medical care.

They don’t live godly if we don’t bring prayer and the Bible and an example of godliness home with us.

If we don’t what we should do, then when they do wrong we are also guilty, and we ought to be ashamed.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Call me at 334-288-0577
Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.