GOD DOESN'T LIKE YOUR DATE, EITHER

If a woman vows a vow to the Lord and binds herself by a pledge, while within her father's house in her youth, and her father hears it and says nothing to her, then all her vows and pledges shall stand. But if her father opposes her on the day that he hears of it, none of the promises she made will stand against her.

 And the Lord will forgive her, because her father said, “No.” (Numbers 30: 3-5, my paraphrase)

I had the meeting I’ve expected and dreaded for the last 16 years. (I’m including the months of pregnancy after we found out it was a girl)   I met the boy who wants to take my daughter out on a date.

It was a very old-school meeting.  He came to my home, we took a walk, and I interrogated him.  I met his mother, who happens to be a friend of my wife’s, and before the evening was over, I’d also met his father.  They’re a nice family.  He seems like a quality young man.

I hate him.

But I’m going to let him take my daughter away from my house, alone with him in a car, at night. 

If he weren’t dating my daughter, I’d like this young man.  But he is, so I proceed with him in a relationship based on my overt suspicion of his every move and motive.

As our Father, God recognizes that we will spend time with the world.  He understands that it is natural for us to have relationships with “them.”  And though God so loves the whole world that He gave His only begotten Son, make no mistake, God does not trust them---- not with us.

Therefore “Come out from among them and be separate,” says the Lord. “Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you.  I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters,” says the Lord Almighty.”  (2 Corinthians 6: 17, 18)

Ultimately, our Heavenly Father wants for us what I want for my daughter.  God wants us to choose the right groom, the One who will love us like our Father does.

Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me.  (John 8:42)

In the meantime, God knows that all of us have to fumble our way through the awkwardness of spiritual courtship in this world.  And I, the earthly father, have to give my daughter the freedom and tools to navigate the dating process without losing herself until she finds and chooses “the one” who will love her as much as I do.

Now that I’m in this stage of fatherhood, I understand God better.  I feel something of His pain when He sent Adam and Eve out of the protection of the Garden and let them go from Him, alone, in a car with the world.  As I consider my own internal turmoil, I can only imagine the----- the ----- the what-even-is the-word?    The anxiety (?) God must endure every second of every day over each of the billions of His children who are courted by the world.

But God gives us the freedom and , by His Word, the tools to negotiate the seductions of this life without losing ourselves.   And if out of the security of a loving relationship with God, we will apply our Father’s wise instructions, then one day He will have the joy of giving us away to live the rest of our eternal lives with the right Groom.

Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” (Revelations 19: 7)

In the meantime though, make no mistake.  God does not and is not going to like any of the boys His daughters date. 

And I don’t think God has a problem with me feeling that way, too.  As Jesus said, “I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me, for they are Yours.” (John 17: 9)

Which was Jesus’ way of saying what I told this boy and won’t hesitate to tell the next one.

“You seem nice; but when it come to my daughter, son, I really don’t like you.”

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com

Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To listen to sermons and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can help support this ministry by clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to

Hall Memorial CME Church

541 Seibles Road

Montgomery, AL 36116

STOP IFFING UP GOD’S WILL

Jacob was a talented negotiator, a skilled deal-maker.  The problem is that he tried to cut deals with God, sometimes negotiating with God to get what God had already promised to give.   Jacob, like us, tried to set conditions on God’s unconditional promises; and he almost lost the very blessings he wanted to receive.

If you’ll learn from Jacob’s story, you’ll realize how to live with much less stress and much more assurance of God’s favor.  The key is learning to live without a certain 2-letter word.

The title of the message is: STOPIFFING UP GOD’S WILL.

Listen well.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer, and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church and the executive director of SAYNO (Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization) in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to:
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

WHY I FAILED FIRST GRADE MATH

My first report card in 1st grade included an F in math.  I was a smart kid.  I had a great teacher.  I understood the concepts, and I had ample opportunity to practice the concepts as taught.  The reason I failed math is that I liked addition, and I didn’t like subtraction. 

Addition was cool.  You take two little numbers and turn them into one big number.  That was nice.  But subtraction turned two big numbers into one little bitty number.  That was mean, and I didn’t like it.  So I decided to add all of the math problems, even the ones that contained a minus sign.  Once I'd made that small reinterpretation of the principles, math became one of my favorite subjects.

In my mind, I had good reasons for changing the directions of the problems, but my reasons didn’t change the reality of the assignments.  Hence, the F in math on my first grade report card.

The Bible contains some uncomfortable directions.  There are things in scripture that sound uncool, even mean.  Many of us have really good personal reasons why we’d rather do, teach, and believe something other than what the directions in the Bible tell us.   We have the freedom to do that, but  neither our reasons nor our liberty change the reality of God’s revealed Word.

What a sad, sad shame it would be to spend a life joyfully and sincerely doing and teaching the opposite of what God’s Word, to exchange the truth of God for a lie (Romans 1: 25) only to discover that the big red “F” doesn’t stand for “fine” or “faithful.” 

But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed.   As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed.  (Galatians 1: 8, 9)

True Biblical doctrine isn't always as nice or as cool as we imagine it could be; but it’s still the Truth.  And we owe it to God, to the world, and to ourselves to deliver the Truth no matter how much we dislike the problems that come from faithfully speaking what the Bible honestly says.

 Jesus said: Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.  (Matthew 5: 19)

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 31: 31. "Last Verse: Final Grade"

Proverbs 31: 31     Give to her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31: 31.  Last verse of the last chapter of the book of Wisdom.  Class is about to be dismissed and the Teacher explains how you will be graded.

You will get credit for your work. 

The question at the close of this series is:  When a wife receives credit for what she has given as a wife will the grade place her on honor roll or in remediation?

First, a review.

God created male human beings to work and to think and to be fruitful.   For most men that destined productivity is divinely ordained to occur in the context of marriage---- God’s original social institution.  Marriage is the only social institution that was created under perfect conditions.  God put together the first marriage in Eden.  Every other human institution, including organized religion, was organized after the Fall in the context of a fallen,  already corrupted world. 

Marriage is something special.

And so, God proclaims that it is not good for man to be alone.  God gave His already gifted, talented, doubly employed, PERFECT man----- a wife. 

Therefore, a wife is something special.

But admittedly, that’s not for every man.    Marriage is special, and therefore marriage in this sinful world is especially difficult.

At one point as Jesus was teaching about marriage and laying out the difficulty and depths of the marriage commitment,  Jesus’ disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”  (Matthew 19: 10)

Jesus acknowledged that not every man can handle it.He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given”.   (Matthew 19: 11)

But, as Jesus explained, if a man is meant to be a father then he is also meant to be a husband.  Cause if he doesn’t want the deal with a wife, then he should be celibate. 

“For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”  (Matthew 19: 12)

O.K., so now you’re wondering, “Anderson, what’s your point?”

Right, right.  My points? 

Here are my points:

First, not every man is husband material and not ever woman is wife material, and nothing is wrong with a man or woman who doesn’t want to get married. 

But if you don’t consider yourself to be marriage material then don’t present yourself as sexual partner material either.

To my brothers:  If you are a present or future husband, then your potential for success/ fruitfulness is inextricably tied to the woman you do or will call “wife.”  Choose well.  Your life may not depend on your choice of mate; but the quality of your life does.

To the sisters:  If you and he are truly meant to be together as husband and wife, then you must understand your crucial role in his success.   If God has indeed joined you together, then God has proclaimed that he will never realize his full potential------- without YOUR help.  No matter how good, godly, talented, anointed, hardworking, and driven he is------ if you don’t wife him right, he will never be as good as he could be.

But not every woman can receive this saying.  It is a difficult thing to be a good wife, especially since your man isn’t perfect.

As Paul wrote, “If a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.  (1 Corinthians 7: 28)

As a wife, you have to walk the erratic and razor-thin line between helping your man and trying to run his life.  You’re supposed to help him fulfill his calling without dictating to him what his calling is. 

I understand why a woman wouldn’t want to deal with that kind of drama, but that’s the job.

Your husband cannot do it without you.  

He can’t succeed without you, but if he also can’t succeed WITH you, then what are you there for?

Read this:

I’m not sure how much of this story is true, but the underying principles are spot-on, Biblically accurate.

Ladies, you are the queens who make us kings.  Or not. 

You will be graded on your work.  Show your work.
Make the way you wife----- speak praises in your name.

And let her own works praise her in the gates.
---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 31: 15. "First Up. First In."

Proverbs 31: 15     She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.

Proverbs 31: 15.  The manager of a hotel or restaurant is up and on duty hours before breakfast begins.  He/she makes sure that the staff are all in place, equipped, and on task to provide food and hospitality for the guests.  The manager probably never flips a single pancake or takes a single order, but he/she takes care of everybody ---- all of the guests and all of the staff.   

Why would “a boss” get up so early and work so hard when he/she has employees to do that stuff?  Because that’s what it takes to be a boss.

First up.  First in.  Last to leave.  Last to bed.

That’s how King David lived (Psalm 119: 147).  That’s how Moses operated (Exodus 8: 20; 34: 4).  Joshua got up first and got it started (Joshua 3:1).  And Jesus was always up and rolling before his disciples (Mark 1: 35), even if He’d ended the night before literally dead (Matthew 28: 1, 2).

First up.  First in.  Last to leave.  Last to bed.

I remember the many cold mornings that my father woke me to do some early morning chore.  I remember that he was already fully dressed and he’d already been up and outside working before he came to get me.  I remember carefully stepping over the freshly shined shoes that Daddy changed into for the day job he sandwiched between early morning and late evening working on the farm.

I remember my mom flicking on the light switch and hollering for me to get up and get ready.  I remember that she had the housecoat on over her workclothes, her makeup was already done,  and the house already smelled of biscuits (homemade from scratch), and grits, and bacon that were almost done.

First up.  First in.  Last to leave.  Last to bed.

That’s what it takes to be a leader.  That’s what it takes to be “a boss.”

And ladies (as Proverbs 31 states), that’s what it takes to be a queen.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

Proverbs 31: 15. "First Up. First In."

Proverbs 31: 15     She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.

Proverbs 31: 15.  The manager of a hotel or restaurant is up and on duty hours before breakfast begins.  He/she makes sure that the staff are all in place, equipped, and on task to provide food and hospitality for the guests.  The manager probably never flips a single pancake or takes a single order, but he/she takes care of everybody ---- all of the guests and all of the staff.   

Why would “a boss” get up so early and work so hard when he/she has employees to do that stuff?  Because that’s what it takes to be a boss.

First up.  First in.  Last to leave.  Last to bed.

That’s how King David lived (Psalm 119: 147).  That’s how Moses operated (Exodus 8: 20; 34: 4).  Joshua got up first and got it started (Joshua 3:1).  And Jesus was always up and rolling before his disciples (Mark 1: 35), even if He’d ended the night before literally dead (Matthew 28: 1, 2).

First up.  First in.  Last to leave.  Last to bed.

I remember the many cold mornings that my father woke me to do some early morning chore.  I remember that he was already fully dressed and he’d already been up and outside working before he came to get me.  I remember carefully stepping over the freshly shined shoes that Daddy changed into for the day job he sandwiched between early morning and late evening working on the farm.

I remember my mom flicking on the light switch and hollering for me to get up and get ready.  I remember that she had the housecoat on over her workclothes, her makeup was already done,  and the house already smelled of biscuits (homemade from scratch), and grits, and bacon that were almost done.

First up.  First in.  Last to leave.  Last to bed.

That’s what it takes to be a leader.  That’s what it takes to be “a boss.”

And ladies that’s what it takes to be a queen.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

HAPPY NEW YEAR ------- RIGHT NOW!

It won’t be 2012 much longer.  In a couple of days 2012 will end and the year 2013 will begin.  In every time zone  people will gather in homes, and clubs, and churches, and public spaces to countdown to midnight.  And then they will shout and sing and celebrate the moment of transition out of one year and into another.

Why is that?

Our modern Western calendar marks 365 days in a year.  This is about how long it takes planet Earth to complete a single orbit around the sun, but even the 365 isn’t exactly right. So, we have leap year to try to make up the miscalculation. 

The billions of people who follow the Chinese, Hindu, Muslim, or Eastern Orthodox calendars mark New Year at an entirely different time. 

To us it’ll be a new month and a new year.  But to a whole lot of people,  it’ll just be Tuesday. 

Even the Bible makes it clear that the date we choose for New Year’s Day has no real significance in itself.  In fact the Bible has 2 different dates for New Years’ Day.

The ancient Hebrews counted years by the  movement of the moon, not by the movements of the Earth and sun.  So the Biblical calendar was not 365 days.

But even then, New Year’s Day was marked and remembered.

We know that because Noah marked the New Year.

Genesis 8:13 And it came to pass in the six hundred and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, that the waters were dried up from the earth; and Noah removed the covering of the ark and looked, and indeed the surface of the ground was dry.

But that was New Year’s Day on the old Hebrew calendar.

In Exodus chapter 12, when God sent the 10^th plague on Egypt, killing the firstborn and freeing the Jews from slavery, the Lord also changed the calendar.

The 1^st Passover took place in the Hebrew month of Nisan (Abib in Caananite), the  8^th month of the Hebrew year.  On the day of the 1^st Passover, God said in   Exodus 12:2 “This month shall be your beginning of months; it shall be the first month of the year to you. 

So, from then what had been the 8^th month became the 1^st month. The freed Jews had a new New Year’s Day.  

Like the Christian church today, the Jews have 2 calendars, a religious or “liturgical” calendar and the original secular calendar. 

I have a friend in Camden, Alabama who greets everyone with “Happy New Year.” Doesn’t matter what day or what time.  Whether you see him in a store, or call him on the phone, he says, “Well, Happy New Year.”

Why is that?

“Because,” he says, “Every day, every moment is a chance to start fresh.  Every moment is the beginning of the rest of your life.  Everyday is the start of the next year of your life.  So---- Happy New Year.”

Nothing is wrong with joining with friends and family in the celebration of the coming New Year, but you have to understand that there is nothing magical about this date. That 10 second countdown between what we call December 31^st and what we refer to as January 1^st is not in and of itself anything special.

What makes the New Year new and hopeful is you. 

You determine that this moment is the moment at which you begin to do the things you have not done. 

You determine that this is the date from which you will calculate the deadlines for completing the projects that will change the trajectory of your life.

You determine that this is where you start counting down through the milestones and obstacles you must pass to fulfill your purpose.

The newness of the New Year is not a function of our shifting and arbitrary calendar markings. 

The newness of the New Year comes from you.

Therefore, you don’t have to wait for the December 31^st countdown to reach your local time zone.  You can begin your New Year right now.

In fact, what you really should be asking yourself is: Why you are waiting for Monday night to become Tuesday morning? 

Are you going to be any different Tuesday at 12: 01 A.M. than you are right now?

Is the champagne and music of that New Year’s party going to give you any power that you don’t now possess to choose the path you have been called to?

Are you holding out for a Word in “Watch Night” worship to confirm the calling and anointing that the Holy Spirit has already confirmed a thousand times?

No, you’re not.  Not really.

You know that the real change from old to new year doesn’t come from flipping a page on a calendar; it comes from shifting the mentality  that has held back your spirit.

Right now is the first moment of the next year of your life.

Resolve to be different from this moment forward.

Resolve to be better starting now.

Resolve to do what you should have been doing and seal your resolve by doing, not by drinking. 

Do some push-ups---- now.

Read your Bible ---- now.

Pray---- now.

Call, text, email, write, get up and go into the next room and tell the people you love how much you love them------ right now.

Throughout history and across cultures we’ve made New Year’s Day to be whatever day we wanted it to be.

Make NOW your New Year.

Happy New Year.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Call me at 334-288-0577
Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.