A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 31: 31. "Last Verse: Final Grade"

Proverbs 31: 31     Give to her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31: 31.  Last verse of the last chapter of the book of Wisdom.  Class is about to be dismissed and the Teacher explains how you will be graded.

You will get credit for your work. 

The question at the close of this series is:  When a wife receives credit for what she has given as a wife will the grade place her on honor roll or in remediation?

First, a review.

God created male human beings to work and to think and to be fruitful.   For most men that destined productivity is divinely ordained to occur in the context of marriage---- God’s original social institution.  Marriage is the only social institution that was created under perfect conditions.  God put together the first marriage in Eden.  Every other human institution, including organized religion, was organized after the Fall in the context of a fallen,  already corrupted world. 

Marriage is something special.

And so, God proclaims that it is not good for man to be alone.  God gave His already gifted, talented, doubly employed, PERFECT man----- a wife. 

Therefore, a wife is something special.

But admittedly, that’s not for every man.    Marriage is special, and therefore marriage in this sinful world is especially difficult.

At one point as Jesus was teaching about marriage and laying out the difficulty and depths of the marriage commitment,  Jesus’ disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”  (Matthew 19: 10)

Jesus acknowledged that not every man can handle it.He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given”.   (Matthew 19: 11)

But, as Jesus explained, if a man is meant to be a father then he is also meant to be a husband.  Cause if he doesn’t want the deal with a wife, then he should be celibate. 

“For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”  (Matthew 19: 12)

O.K., so now you’re wondering, “Anderson, what’s your point?”

Right, right.  My points? 

Here are my points:

First, not every man is husband material and not ever woman is wife material, and nothing is wrong with a man or woman who doesn’t want to get married. 

But if you don’t consider yourself to be marriage material then don’t present yourself as sexual partner material either.

To my brothers:  If you are a present or future husband, then your potential for success/ fruitfulness is inextricably tied to the woman you do or will call “wife.”  Choose well.  Your life may not depend on your choice of mate; but the quality of your life does.

To the sisters:  If you and he are truly meant to be together as husband and wife, then you must understand your crucial role in his success.   If God has indeed joined you together, then God has proclaimed that he will never realize his full potential------- without YOUR help.  No matter how good, godly, talented, anointed, hardworking, and driven he is------ if you don’t wife him right, he will never be as good as he could be.

But not every woman can receive this saying.  It is a difficult thing to be a good wife, especially since your man isn’t perfect.

As Paul wrote, “If a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.  (1 Corinthians 7: 28)

As a wife, you have to walk the erratic and razor-thin line between helping your man and trying to run his life.  You’re supposed to help him fulfill his calling without dictating to him what his calling is. 

I understand why a woman wouldn’t want to deal with that kind of drama, but that’s the job.

Your husband cannot do it without you.  

He can’t succeed without you, but if he also can’t succeed WITH you, then what are you there for?

Read this:

I’m not sure how much of this story is true, but the underying principles are spot-on, Biblically accurate.

Ladies, you are the queens who make us kings.  Or not. 

You will be graded on your work.  Show your work.
Make the way you wife----- speak praises in your name.

And let her own works praise her in the gates.
---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

Proverbs 31: 31. "Last Verse: Final Grade"

Proverbs 31: 31     Give to her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31: 31.  Last verse of the last chapter of the book of Wisdom.  Class is about to be dismissed and the Teacher explains how you will be graded.

You will get credit for your work. 

The question at the close of this series is:  When a wife receives credit for what she has given as a wife will the grade place her on honor roll or in remediation?

First, a review.

God created male human beings to work and to think and to be fruitful.   For most men that destined productivity is divinely ordained to occur in the context of marriage---- God’s original social institution.  Marriage is the only social institution that was created under perfect conditions.  God put together the first marriage in Eden.  Every other human institution, including organized religion, was organized after the Fall in the context of a fallen,  already corrupted world. 

Marriage is something special.

And so, God proclaims that it is not good for man to be alone.  God gave His already gifted, talented, doubly employed, PERFECT man----- a wife. 

Therefore, a wife is something special.

But admittedly, that’s not for every man.    Marriage is special, and therefore marriage in this sinful world is especially difficult.

At one point as Jesus was teaching about marriage and laying out the difficulty and depths of the marriage commitment,  Jesus’ disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”  (Matthew 19: 10)

Jesus acknowledged that not every man can handle it.He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given”.   (Matthew 19: 11)

But, as Jesus explained, if a man is meant to be a father then he is also meant to be a husband.  Cause if he doesn’t want the deal with a wife, then he should be celibate. 

“For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”  (Matthew 19: 12)

O.K., so now you’re wondering, “Anderson, what’s your point?”

Right, right.  My points? 

Here are my points:

First, not every man is husband material and not ever woman is wife material, and nothing is wrong with a man or woman who doesn’t want to get married. 

But if you don’t consider yourself to be marriage material then don’t present yourself as sexual partner material either.

To my brothers:  If you are a present or future husband, then your potential for success/ fruitfulness is inextricably tied to the woman you do or will call “wife.”  Choose well.  Your life may not depend on your choice of mate; but the quality of your life does.

To the sisters:  If you and he are truly meant to be together as husband and wife, then you must understand your crucial role in his success.   If God has indeed joined you together, then God has proclaimed that he will never realize his full potential------- without YOUR help.  No matter how good, godly, talented, anointed, hardworking, and driven he is------ if you don’t wife him right, he will never be as good as he could be.

But not every woman can receive this saying.  It is a difficult thing to be a good wife, especially since your man isn’t perfect.

As Paul wrote, “If a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.  (1 Corinthians 7: 28)

As a wife, you have to walk the erratic and razor-thin line between helping your man and trying to run his life.  You’re supposed to help him fulfill his calling without dictating to him what his calling is. 

I understand why a woman wouldn’t want to deal with that kind of drama, but that’s the job.

Your husband cannot do it without you.  

He can’t succeed without you, but if he also can’t succeed WITH you, then what are you there for?

Read this:

I’m not sure how much of this story is true, but the underlying principles are spot-on, Biblically accurate.

Ladies, you are the queens who make us kings.  Or not. 

You will be graded on your work.  Show your work.
Make the way you wife----- speak praises in your name.

And let her own works praise her in the gates.
---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

THE OTHER HALF OF CRAZY

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?

You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. (James 4: 1, 2)

The layman’s definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.   But, that’s only half of the crazy.

The crazier half is not realizing that the reason you fail is because of the things you continue to do over and over.

James, the brother of the Lord, wrote a plea to the early church.  In the A. T. Graves paraphrased version James said: “Where da’ crap do you think all this drama comes from?  Don’t you see that you’re the source of all your confusion?   You want stuff, and the way you try to get it is the very reason why you don’t have it.  But you keep trying to get it the same way.”

James goes on to point out that some of the stuff they want is stuff they shouldn’t have---- but that’s a topic for another post.

If your life is a continuing cycle of 4 months of ballin’ followed by 2 months of bankruptcy and begging------ where da’ crap  do you think your bankruptcy comes from?  It’s not because of haters, or the government, or your baby’s daddy/ mama ‘nem.  It’s because as soon as you get a little money, you spend it foolishly.   Stop the foolishness (STOP not pause and restart) and the cycle of desperation will magically go away.

If you keep falling in and out of toxic, dead-end, destructive relationships------ who da’ crap do you think keeps bringing these people into your life?  The neighborhood doesn’t go out with them.  Your “haters” don’t give them your number and home address.  And all men/ all women aren’t like that----- or you wouldn’t have so many couples to envy.  Baby, it’s you.  If you stop selecting your romantic interests based on the worst possible set of standards then you wouldn’t keep ending up with the worst possible kinds of people.

If your church is in continual decline----- who?  Who in crap do you think is killing the ministry?  The gates of Hell can’t prevail against the church, but the Hell on the inside will kill it like cancer.  Stop blaming the media, the bishops, the big church up the road, and the devil.  It is the wars and fights we perpetuate among ourselves that kill churches.  It is our own desires for power and control no matter what the cost to the young, the weak, and the spiritually vulnerable. 

We fail because we keep doing the things that cause failure and we not only expect a different result, we haven’t even accepted that our current results are our fault.

Fortunately, James articulates the solution as well as the problem.

James 4: 7-12.

·         Submit to God.

·         Resist the devil

·         Draw near to God  

·         Cleanse your hands

·         Purify your hearts

·         Lament

·         Mourn

·         Weep

·         Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.

·         Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord

·         Do not speak evil of one another

Do these things instead of what you’ve been doing/ are doing now and these will be your new results:

·         The devil will flee from you.

·         God will draw near to you.

·         The Lord will lift you up.

If you want different, you gotta do different.  But first, you have to accept that what you are still doing is the reason that you are still failing.

Yeah, I know that sucks, but I’m only telling you because I love you.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 29: 19. "MORE THAN WORDS"

Proverbs 29: 19     A servant will not be corrected by mere words; for though he understands, he will not respond.

Proverbs 29: 19.  Accountability is an often used but too-seldom applied term in organizational leadership.  What we call accountability is often just reporting. 

At best, reporting shows that your people know what they were supposed to do, but it doesn’t ensure that they did/ will do it.

Reports are the summary and spin that one party gives to his leaders and supervisors.  Reports can clarify questions with numbers and narratives, or reports can cloud results with excuses and empty oration.  Either way, reports are mere words.  REPORTING IS NOT ACCOUNTABILITY.

Accountability begins when the leaders peer into and through the reports and see the actual results.  ACCOUNTABILITY OCCURS WITH LEADERS RESPOND TO RESULTS WITH CONSEQUENCES. 

If a leader never drills down through the ritual of reporting to the spirit and truth of the actual results, then the leader doesn’t have an accurate basis for holding people accountable.    Once they get down to the actual results, leaders have to take the next difficult, painful, courageous, unpopular, and messy step.  They have to apply real results-based consequences.

A cashier who gives back too much change won’t stop giving back too much change because the manager asks him to.  But f the manager retrains the cashier AND docks his pay, the over-changing will stop, or the cashier will quit---- which will stop the over-changing.

A child who screams in the grocery store will not stop screaming because a parent tells her to stop one time. She’ll stop screaming when she has been taught proper behavior and shown that painful consequences follow her parent telling her to stop more than one time.

Many of our families, our schools, our communities, and our churches are corrupt, powerless, and declining because we don’t hold people accountable.  We take reports at face value and never look for the real results.  They say, “Everything fine,” so we ignore the smoke pouring out of the building.  No accountability.

We see the destruction and the decline, but we don’t want to hurt feelings, challenge political strongholds, or risk retaliation; so we leave people the way we found them in the positions where they can do the most harm and accept the empty report that, “God is good.”  No accountability.

From Congress to the county to the local church, we call for committees to write and deliver reports.  But reports are mere words, and mere words are not enough to alter the inertia of failure.  Accountability is the most difficult way, but it’s the only way.

Jesus modeled the practice of accountability.

Luke chapters 9 & 10 begin with Jesus ordaining and appointing 82 leaders.  The 12 apostles and the 70 others were given specific evangelistic appointments and assignments. 

They reported back to Jesus on their work (Luke 9: 10; 10: 17), and Jesus drilled down for spiritual, ministerial, and personal results. 

• How well did they handle the resources/ lack of resources?  (Luke 9: 3-5)
• When put on the spot could they organize and execute a feeding ministry in the field?  (Luke 9: 12-13)
• Had they grown in their understanding of Jesus despite the views of the prevailing culture? (Luke 9: 18-20)
• Could they show actual spiritual results? (Luke 10: 9, 17

When an appointed or potential leader some showed less understanding or less commitment than Jesus required, He applied the consequence of direct Divine rebuke. (Luke 9: 54-55; 9: 62; 10: 17-20)

Reports + Results + Consequences =  ACCOUNTABILITY.

It’s difficult way, but it’s Jesus’ way---- the necessary path of accountability.

---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order.

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

 

A WORD TO THE WISE: MORE THAN WORDS

Proverbs 29: 19     A servant will not be corrected by mere words; for though he understands, he will not respond.

Proverbs 29: 19.  Accountability is an often used but too-seldom applied term in organizational leadership.  What we call accountability is often just reporting. 

At best, reporting shows that your people know what they were supposed to do, but it doesn’t ensure that they did/ will do it.

Reports are the summary and spin that one party gives to his leaders and supervisors.  Reports can clarify questions with numbers and narratives, or reports can cloud results with excuses and empty oration.  Either way, reports are mere words.  REPORTING IS NOT ACCOUNTABILITY.

Accountability begins when the leaders peer into and through the reports and see the actual results.  ACCOUNTABILITY OCCURS WITH LEADERS RESPOND TO RESULTS WITH CONSEQUENCES. 

If a leader never drills down through the ritual of reporting to the spirit and truth of the actual results, then the leader doesn’t have an accurate basis for holding people accountable.    Once they get down to the actual results, leaders have to take the next difficult, painful, courageous, unpopular, and messy step.  They have to apply real results-based consequences.

A cashier who gives back too much change won’t stop giving back too much change because the manager asks him to.  But f the manager retrains the cashier AND docks his pay, the over-changing will stop, or the cashier will quit---- which will stop the over-changing.

A child who screams in the grocery store will not stop screaming because a parent tells her to stop one time. She’ll stop screaming when she has been taught proper behavior and shown that painful consequences follow her parent telling her to stop more than one time.

Many of our families, our schools, our communities, and our churches are corrupt, powerless, and declining because we don’t hold people accountable.  We take reports at face value and never look for the real results.  They say, “Everything fine,” so we ignore the smoke pouring out of the building.  No accountability.

We see the destruction and the decline, but we don’t want to hurt feelings, challenge political strongholds, or risk retaliation; so we leave people the way we found them in the positions where they can do the most harm and accept the empty report that, “God is good.”  No accountability.

From Congress to the county to the local church, we call for committees to write and deliver reports.  But reports are mere words, and mere words are not enough to alter the inertia of failure.  Accountability is the most difficult way, but it’s the only way.

Jesus modeled the practice of accountability.

Luke chapters 9 & 10 begin with Jesus ordaining and appointing 82 leaders.  The 12 apostles and the 70 others were given specific evangelistic appointments and assignments. 

They reported back to Jesus on their work (Luke 9: 10; 10: 17), and Jesus drilled down for spiritual, ministerial, and personal results. 

• How well did they handle the resources/ lack of resources?  (Luke 9: 3-5)

 

• When put on the spot could they organize and execute a feeding ministry in the field?  (Luke 9: 12-13)

• Had they grown in their understanding of Jesus despite the views of the prevailing culture? (Luke 9: 18-20)

• Could they show actual spiritual results? (Luke 10: 9, 17

When an appointed or potential leader some showed less understanding or less commitment than Jesus required, He applied the consequence of direct Divine rebuke. (Luke 9: 54-55; 9: 62; 10: 17-20)

Reports + Results + Consequences =  ACCOUNTABILITY.

It’s difficult way, but it’s Jesus’ way---- the necessary path of accountability.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Call me at 334-288-0577

Email me at atgravestwo2@aol.com

Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.