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Showing posts with label hero. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hero. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

WHO ARE THE BAD GUYS?


Blogging Exodus chapter 1


Exodus is the story of the liberation of ancient descendants of Israel from bondage in Egypt.  Exodus 12:40-41 says that the children of Israel spent 430 years in Egypt.  Exodus chapter 1 says that they spent the latter majority of that time under conditions that may sound familiar to some of you.

At some point, the majority Egyptians began to look hostilely at the minorities living in their own communities.    “Why are we paying 20% taxes while THOSE PEOPLE get to eat free in Goshen? Why are we spending all of this money and taking care of THOSE PEOPLE in Goshen.” Joseph’s descendants, the tribes Mannasseh and Ephraim, were descended from Egyptian nobility.  But in the eyes of the nation they were all welfare babies. 


Exodus 1:  9 And he said to his people, “Look, the people of the children of Israel are more and mightier than we;

So, the national government of Egypt deliberately created unfair and discriminatory laws targeting their Hebrew residents.

10 come, let us deal shrewdly with them,

Without any evidence, the Egyptians accused the Jews of disloyalty, of being a threat to national security.

10b . . . lest they multiply, and it happen, in the event of war, that they also join our enemies and fight against us, and so go up out of the land.”


They created a new Jim Crow, or perhaps the Bible’s original Jim Crow laws to exploit their labor without paying them a fair wage.

11 Therefore they set taskmasters over them to afflict them with their burdens. And they built for Pharaoh supply cities, Pithom and Raamses.

But, despite the whips, despite the indignities, despite every effort by the most powerful nation on the planet to destroy a targeted minority, that minority increased in number and they increased in prosperity. 

 12 But the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew.


And that really scared the Egyptians. 

  12 b . . . And they were in dread of the children of Israel.

They decided that it was time to “Take Our Country Back,” by putting those uppity minorities “in their place.”

 13 So the Egyptians made the children of Israel serve with rigor.
14 And they made their lives bitter with hard bondage—in mortar, in brick, and in all manner of service in the field. All their service in which they made them serve was with rigor.

The national leaders of Egypt went so far as to pass laws and policies for government agents whose official job was to protect Hebrew babies and serve Hebrew mothers.  But the new laws directed those agents to  target minority males with deadly force. 

15 Then the king of Egypt spoke to the Hebrew midwives, of whom the name of one was Shiphrah and the name of the other Puah; 16 and he said, “When you do the duties of a midwife for the Hebrew women, and see them on the birthstools, if it is a son, then you shall kill him; but if it is a daughter, then she shall live.” 


The nation’s set out to break up the Hebrew family by devaluing the lives of their males while simultaneously promoting Hebrew women as the heads of their families and devaluing those same women through every cultural forum.   It’s almost like somebody at the top said:
if it is a son, then you shall kill him; but if it is a daughter, then she shall live.” 

They confronted  the MIDWIVES who failed to kill off the  Hebrew boys as fast as Pharaoh wanted.

But the midwives feared God, and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but saved the male children alive. 18 So the king of Egypt called for the midwives and said to them, “Why have you done this thing, and saved the male children alive?” Exodus 1:17-18)



Pharaoh passed a new set of laws to facilitate the murder of Hebrew males.

 So Pharaoh commanded all his people, saying, “Every son who is born you shall cast into the river, and every daughter you shall save alive.”   

 Link to article



They authorized and encouraged all ethnically  Egyptian citizens to “stand their ground” and take the lives of young, Hebrew males.

For 3 months, Moses’  family hid him because they knew that the police, or the neighborhood watch, or some random Egyptian citizen could kill the boy, be acquitted, and raise thousands on  

Under the pressure created by their nation Moses’ parents broke and abandoned their baby boy. 
 But when she could no longer hide him, she took an ark of bulrushes for him, daubed it with asphalt and pitch, put the child in it, and laid it in the reeds by the river’s bank (Exodus 2:3).

They left him to die of exposure, or be attacked by an animal, or float off down the river and drown.  Moses’ parents loved him, but the only right they had to exercise was the right to choose death for their child.   

Then the daughter of Pharaoh came down to bathe at the river. And her . . . . she saw the ark among the reeds, she sent her maid to get it. And when she opened it, she saw the child, and behold, the baby wept. So she had compassion on him, and said, “This is one of the Hebrews’ children” (Exodus 2:5-6).

It’s interesting that an Egyptian whose people would have thought nothing of Moses’ body floating in the river (or lying in the street) if he’d been killed by an Egyptian felt compassion for the poor boy being a victim of Hebrew-on-Hebrew crime.  It’s interesting that she whose wealth and power were secured by the blood of young Hebrew males was moved to action (one might say “activism”) when a Hebrew woman chose to end her own child’s life.

I’m not saying one is any better than the other.  I’m just saying that it is interesting. 

Our leaders have revised and repackaged history to fit their present agendas.  The king has forgotten Joseph.

Our cultural leaders are so afraid of “those people,”  so envious of the idea that “those people” will take over “our” country that they imagine, exaggerate, and invent national security threats


while ignoring the actual blood on their own hands.

We have formed so imperfect a union that we only care about the murder of children ----- depending on who killed them.


We like to think of America as the Promised Land, but spiritually and culturally speaking, America’s not Israel.  

We’re Egypt. 


--Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama. He writes a blog called A Word to the Wise at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves 

Click here to support this ministry with a donation.  Or go to andersontgraves.blogspot.com and click on the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132
Fairfield, Al 35064

Friday, October 30, 2015

DRAMA ENVY: I WISH I HAD YOUR PROBLEMS



For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.  (Romans 5: 10)

All across my newsfeeds I see people posting about the haters trying to get at them, the cheating men/ women who don’t appreciate them, the fake friends who gossip behind their backs, and the devil--- the devil attacking them at every turn.

I envy those people.

I envy them because all their problems are external, and external problems are easy to fix. 

Got haters?  Stop listening to them.
Being cheated on?  Leave that fool and don’t take them back.
Fake, gossiping friends?  Stop telling them your business.  And stop calling them “friends.”
Hateful boss?  Transfer.
Dysfunctional, co-dependent family?  Move and stop calling them 20 times a day.
Nosy folks on Facebook?  Get off Facebook.  (If you can’t handle strangers you friended disagreeing with you, just delete your social media profile.)
And the devil?  The devil’s the easiest one.  FORGET THE DEVIL. Focus on God.  Jesus handled satan a long time ago. 

I wish I was one of those people who’s pleased with myself and afflicted only by external enemies and haters.  But sadly that’s not my luck.

My biggest enemy is ME.

Like Paul said, “The good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.”  (Romans 7: 19-23)

I don’t wake worried in the middle of the night, afraid of what my haters are going to try.  I do stress over how prepared I am (or am not) to fulfill my part of all the deals I’ve made with God over the years.

I seldom get into a lot of drama with other people.  My headaches come from pulling logs out of my own eye.  My freshest and deepest scars have come from wrestling with myself.  And I’m a tough dude. 

So, I look with wonder at all these folks who only every have trouble because of what other people do to them.  It’s like the strange gospel narrative I hear in some Christian circles: 
We know that the Lord Jesus interceded in history to save us from sin.  But the way they tell it, the Lord apparently came to save them from EVERYBODY ELSE’S sins.  Must be because they quickly say that they don’t regret their old ways.    So they’re unrepentant ----but saved.  Therefore, they must be saved from what other people did wrong.  In their version of the gospel, every saint is a victim of sin, rescued by the grace of God in Jesus Christ.

But I don’t read it like that. 

The way I see the gospel, Jesus came to save me from MY sins.  Jesus came to save you from YOUR sins.  We aren’t the victims. 

We’re the villains.

For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. (Romans 5: 10)

I have my share of haters, false friends, unreasonable supervisors, crazy family, and spiritual attacks.  I know that you do, too.  But I strongly recommend a fresh assessment of who is the greatest source of trouble in your life.  Is it really ALL men? ALL women?  Is it really only their fault?  Or is it your choices?  Does the problem begin with what they do, or with how you respond to what they do?

But probably, it’s them.  Just them.  Not you, not you at all.

You don’t contribute anything to your own drama.

It’s probably just me.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. (1 John 1: 8-10)



---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves 
#Awordtothewise

You can help support this ministry with a donation to Miles Chapel CME Church.

You can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132

Fairfield, Al 35064

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

HEROES AS VILLAINS


And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. (Ephesians 2: 1-3)


At 43 and and a couple of weeks away from being the father of a high school senior, I see things differently than I used to.  Even the stuff I'd seen before I see differently. 


When I was 18, I watched “Tango and Cash,” a buddy-cop action movie.  I never thought it would win an Oscar, but I remember thinking that it was fun.  I remember being unquestionably sold that the main characters, played by Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell, were good guys.  They were good cops.

I watched a rerun of the movie last night, and now I see it differently. 

About  30 minutes into the “Tango and Cash” rerun, I was rooting for the heroic fictional detectives when I realized that the movie police had killed more people and blown up more property than the movie villains.

We know that the movies and other media glorify violence.  Lots of research and not a small amount of common sense (i.e. why do companies pay billions in media advertising if it doesn’t influence behavior) demonstrate that media glorification encourages criminal violence.  You know, the bad stuff that bad guys do.

But what about the bad stuff that good guys do?

If you were a kid who grew up on "Dirty Harry," "Lethal Weapon," Steven Seagal flicks, or "Bad Boys," what did you learn about being a cop?  Hollywood told you that GOOD cops shoot lots of people, and they beat up suspects for information, and sometimes the really heroic cops“go rogue and deliver their own brand of justice.”  (You have to read that last part in a deep, dramatic, movie narrator voice.)

Most real life police officers never shoot anybody, and they don't use the right cross as their primary interrogation technique

But if you believe the screens, they’re supposed to.

Just like the screens tell us that:
Rappers are SUPPOSED TO BE drug dealers, murderers, and misogynists.
Politicians are SUPPOSED TO BE corrupt profiteers covering up their crimes by murdering innocent people.
Preachers are SUPPOSED TO BE con-men and perverts who believe in nothing.
Artists are SUPPOSED TO BE drug-addicts and sex-addicts.
Fathers are SUPPOSED TO BE clueless incompetents.

The media has contaminated our cultural mindsets and EVERYBODY drinks the tainted water, including the people who want to grow up to be heroes.  

Hollywood would turn us all into villains.  And it is a masterfully directed plan.

Consider this: 73% of Americans are Christians, but the majority of mainstream media portrayals of Christians, including Fox News' choices for interviews, are negative.  How can the most populous group in America be the most ridiculed group in America?  Who's running the show(s)? 

Ephesians 2 calls satan “the prince of the power of the air.”  The spiritual prince of the airways is “the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience.”

Evil influence, evil intent has formed a media superculture that promotes, as Ephesians 2: 1-3 says:
-          the lusts of our flesh
-          desires of the flesh
-          desires of the mind
-          WRATH

Hollywood casts us as heroes but directs us to act as only villains do.



Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! (Isaiah 5: 20)

The closing verses of Isaiah 5 prophesy the consequences of playing the role that the prince of the airways has written for us:
-          Corruption to the core/ root (v. 24)
-          Rejection of God’s moral authority (v. 24)
-          Death in the streets (v. 25)
-          Invasion and attack from foreign lands (v. 26)
-          Fear of a ruthless and relentless external enemy (v. 27-30)

Does any of that sound familiar, America?  Maybe things aren't getting out of hand.  Maybe things are following a very, very old script.  

There's a scene in the Denzel Washington movie 'The Book of Eli" where the hero is talking to the female protagonist, Solara.
Solara: I want to come with you.
Eli: No, you don't.
Solara: I hate it here.
Eli: Then change it.

If you don't like where our/ your/ the story is going then  it's time change directors.  We can return to the Bible and choose Jesus' directions over the current revision to social acceptability on TV and online.  

Hollywood is what Hollywood is.  They play their role. 

But if those roles are written by a diabolical author, then Christians cannot accept Hollywood's definition of a villain nor its definition of a hero.  Both are written to achieve the same conclusion to the story.

Pull your role from another script.

How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.  (Psalm 119: 9)

Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.
Blessed are You, O Lord!
Teach me Your statutes. (Psalm 119: 11, 12)

Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. (John 6: 68



 
---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves 
#Awordtothewise

You can help support this ministry with a donation to Miles Chapel CME Church.

You can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132
Fairfield, Al 35064


Wednesday, December 10, 2014

NO ROOM


To save our false heroes, we make villains of the wrong people.

In our telling of the Christmas story, we vilify the innkeeper in Luke 2: 7.  The innkeeper has become the symbol of heartless profiteers who reject the gospel for the love of money.
Neal Maxwell said, “Each of us is an innkeeper who decides if there is room for Jesus.”
I disagree.  The innkeeper is not the villain.

He really didn’t have any empty rooms, and it would have been totally unethical to evict travelers who had already paid him for the night’s shelter.  In those days innkeepers and their families lived in their business.  Did we expect him to put his own wife and children out in the cold?
The innkeeper literally had no more room, but such as he had he gave.  His stable was warm.  Not pretty, not that clean, but it was inside and warm.

The innkeeper wasn’t the bad guy.  We want him to be so we don’t have to face who the real villains were.

Joseph and Mary were both descendants of King David.  Bethlehem was full because the descendants of David were in town to register for the census.  It was a big family reunion.  Yet, not one uncle, aunt, cousin, or parent in Bethlehem would let Joseph and his 9-month-pregnant-going-into-labor-right-now wife come into their house. 

Back up and ask yourself why Mary was even on the road with Joseph at the end of her 3rd trimester?  Why didn’t the women of Nazareth insist that Mary stay with them while her husband travelled?

It was because no one believed her and Joseph’s story about this baby being the Son of God conceived without sex.  Mary was dishonored. 

And Joseph, by marrying her after she was 3 months pregnant, had taken full share in her public shame. 

The village elders agreed not to stone them as the law allowed, but their families summarily declared, “You are both dead to us.”   The women in Nazareth, including the women in Mary’s family, refused to care for her, and away from Joseph’s protection, the men might still have attacked her.

Mary had to walk to Bethlehem with Joseph, but the family who outpaced them from Nazareth and filled all the rooms in the inn and spread the word that no one in the extended family was to give shelter to the marked couple and their illegitimate child.

Their family were the villains. The innkeeper was the hero. 

We don’t want to think of it that way because we recognize that in this land of churches, TBN, and Bible apps, WE ARE THE FAMILY; and we want to be the heroes who saved Christmas from all those heathens who say “Happy Holidays.” 

But when Jesus shows up in a teenage mother instead of a gaudy Christmas sweater, who makes room for him?

When Jesus shows up broke and homeless and (worst of all) not on our Christmas party guest list, who makes room for him?

When Jesus shows up as a dirty kid with a stepdad (Well we think that’s his stepdad but are they even actually married?), who has room for that drama this time of year?

When Jesus is swaddled in rags, not robed in white, when He’s screaming about food and warmth and love, not teaching eloquently about deep doctrinal debates----- are you really gonna make room for that?

The God’s honest truth is that strangers have often been more willing to receive Jesus that way than we in the church family.

Jesus told the scribes and Pharisees (His people) that ancient Assyrians had a better ear for the raw gospel.

The men of Nineveh will rise up in the judgment with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at the preaching of Jonah; and indeed a greater than Jonah is here.  (Matthew 12:41)

In exasperation Paul gave up trying to preach to his own people. 

But when the Jews opposed Paul and blasphemed, he shook his garments and said to them, “Your blood be upon your own heads; I am clean. From now on I will go to the Gentiles.”  (Acts 18:6)

Basically, Paul said, “I’m done.  I’d rather deal with idolaters and cannibals than you church-folk.”

The Jesus offered that silent night in Bethlehem came forth through pain, and labor, and water, and blood, and social shame.

We, the family, must decide this Christmas if we are willing to share in  Jesus’ pain and labor, to be covered in His water and blood, to share in His shame.

Or will we just shut our doors, plug in our lights, and wish “Merry Christmas” to those already inside?  Will this be another Christmas when only strangers make room for Jesus?

He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him.  (John 1: 11)


---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com

You can help support this ministry with a donation to Miles Chapel CME Church.

You can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132


Fairfield, Al 35064

Sunday, November 30, 2014

GOOD GUYS GONE BAD


The hero in the zombie series “The Walking Dead” is Rick Grimes, a former sheriff.    When the series began Rick had a strong moral center, a need to protect, and a desire to build something good in a world gone very, very wrong.  Often, Rick was placed in scenes opposite ruthless villains so that the audience could hear Rick’s hopeful lines in contrast to the slick, manipulative, self-justifying monologues of the villains.

But our hero Rick has changed.

The bad guy this past season was a cannibal named Garrett, whose response to one his victim’s plea for mercy was, “There is no going back, Bob."

In the mid-season finale a handcuffed, unarmed police officer begged Sheriff Grimes to take him back to the group’s camp.  Rick replied, “There is no going back, Bob.”   Then he shot him in the face.

It didn’t have to be that way.  Rick didn’t have to take it that far. 

Like the real-life Biblical figure Jephthah.

Jephthah is one of the most inspiring characters in the Bible.   He was the progeny of his father’s adulterous liaison with a prostitute.  As soon as his father died, his brothers kicked him out, and he became the leader of a street gang.  (Judges 11: 1-3)

God raised Jephthah up out of the gutter and made him the leader of the Jewish people, one of the great Judges of Israel.  Under Jephthah’s leadership, a minor clan on the neglected side of the Israelite nation freed the children of Israel from 18 years of oppression under the pagan Ammonite nation. (Judges 11: 4-33)

But along the way, Jephthah did something terrible.  He made a hasty and unnecessary promise to God, though surely it seemed like a good idea at the time.  It certainly sounded holy and pious when he said it.

And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord, and said, “If You will indeed deliver the people of Ammon into my hands, then it will be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the people of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering.”  (Judges 11: 30, 31)

God didn’t ask Jephthah for that promise.  God didn’t offer victory in exchange for a burnt offering.  Right before Jephthah made the vow (verse 29) God had given Spiritual assurance to Jephthah that the battle was God’s will.  He didn’t have to take it that far.

Under Jephthah's leadership, the Gileadite clan of Israel won the battle, but when Jephthah came to his house at Mizpah, there was his daughter, coming out to meet him with timbrels and dancing; and she was his only child. Besides her he had neither son nor daughter. (Judges 11:34)

In Leviticus 18:21, and Leviticus 20 God explicitly and repeatedly prohibited human sacrifice, even making such practice a capital offense; but Jephthah the man who came of age on the streets where nothing is free and you live or die by your word; Jephthah could not back down.

He killed his own daughter.  And something in this great man changed.   Jephthah had long been a warrior, but something changed.  He became a harder, morally compromised, ruthless, and broken version of the hero he had been.

In chapter 12, a group from the powerful Ephraimite tribe of Israel crossed the Jordan and confronted Jephthah.  They insulted him and his clan.  They laid claim to the treasure the Jephthah had taken in battle, and they attacked.  Jephthah’s Gileadites won the battle, but for Jephthah victory was not enough.

He set up checkpoints along the Jordan River, and had his soldiers question every man trying to cross over to the Ephraimite side. 

And when any Ephraimite who escaped said, “Let me cross over,” the men of Gilead would say to him, “Are you an Ephraimite?” If he said, “No,” then they would say to him, “Then say, ‘Shibboleth’!”
And he would say, “Sibboleth,” for he could not pronounce it right. Then they would take him and kill him at the fords of the Jordan. (Judges 12: 5, 6)

Jephthah ordered the slaughter of anyone----armed, unarmed, fighting, or surrendered------anyone who even sounded like one of the people who had dared to insult him.

They killed 42,000 fellow Jews that day.  He killed more of his people than the people he had been protecting his people from.

Did it have to be that way?  Did Jephtah have to go so far?

No.  

But each of us, like Jephthah and Rick Grimes, are just a few moral compromises from going too far.  Each of us may be just one or just one more terrible, pointless human sacrifice away from becoming the villain we thought only other people were.

“We push ourselves and let things go. Then we let some more go and then some more. And pretty soon, there's things we can't get back. Things we couldn't hold on to even if we tried.”   
--- Bob Stookey, “The Walking Dead”

Stop and remember why you started fighting in the first place.  Remember what you were supposed to be building.  Remember how you were supposed to make it better. 

Don’t let that go.

Don’t let the means dictate the end.

Don’t let yourself become the villain.

And if you already have, contrary to what some characters say, you can go back.

That’s the chapter left for every lost hero or villain to write themselves:  Redemption.  And you don't play that scene alone.

“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.  (Isaiah 1: 18)

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com

You can help support this ministry with a donation to Miles Chapel CME Church.

You can help support Rev. Graves’ work by visiting his personal blog and clicking the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 
Miles Chapel CME Church
P O Box 132
Fairfield, Al 35064


Tuesday, October 8, 2013

PROVERBS 31: 28 "Family Tragedy"

Proverbs 31: 28     Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

Proverbs 31: 28.   The summer before my freshman year in high school, our house burned down.  In less than an hour, our little shotgun house was nothing but ashes and a chimney. 

We survived and moved into a trailer----- which was way nicer than the old house.  People called my parents heroes for saving their children.  

Good came out of that fire,  but my parents never said that I should burn my house down when I grew up. 

In fact, my parents made a point of teaching me to keep working smoke alarms in my house.  They taught me not to play with matches.  They told me to keep the pilot light on the water heater lit and covered.  They trained me to do everything possible to avoid taking my family through the disaster of a house fire------ even though good came out of our house fire.

Follow me closely. 

Though good came out of the situation, and though my parents’ response was considered “heroic,” we still recognized that the situation itself was tragic and not to be repeated.

Proverbs 31: 28 describes a daily scene in the life of the woman worthy of a king.  She is Mama and she is there, a present and active blessing in her children’s lives. Daddy is also there, a present and active blessing in THEIR children’s lives.  Mama is there.  Daddy is there.  And Daddy is Mama’s husband.

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

That is the format God established when He invented the family back in Genesis chapter 2.   That is the format that the ideal woman wants for herself and for her children.  And a king-to-be should want a woman who wants the family structure that God established.

But that can’t always be.  Divorce, death, deployment, desertion, or discord can disrupt the flow into a Biblically ordered family.  Our single-minded lust for sexual satisfaction leads us into ill-conceived conceptions.   
But whatever the reason, when mama isn’t there for her children, when daddy isn’t there for his children, when daddy and mama aren’t together with their children: it means that something went wrong---- disastrously, tragically wrong.

In those situations, I’ve personally watched single mothers and single fathers--- especially in my own family---- step up and do an amazing solo job raising wonderful children.  I’ve personally watched families and communities close ranks around children who got dropped off for the weekend by a parent who never came back.

Children are a great good.  Single parents who do a 2-person job alone are heroic.  Good things comes out of those homes.

But we shouldn’t pretend that the absence of mama, or daddy, or both isn’t a tragedy.  

Yet, more and more that’s exactly what we do.

Listen to the lines in our movies, and sitcoms, and theater.  Listen to the music.  Listen to conversations around you. 

We teach our little girls, “You don’t need a man to raise your kids.” 

Across our culture we spend more time preparing boys to deal with a baby’s mama than we do teaching them to love a wife.

We talk to our daughters about WHEN they become a mother and IF they become a wife.

We drop our children off for Grandma, Ma Dear, Big Mama, Auntee, or the Child Services lady to raise. And when they should be grown and independent, we bring them back home with us to live out a whole other childhood.

But we mean no harm.  We love our children.  We’re just like people who grew up in a war zone.  We have become so conditioned to constant tragedy that we don’t even see it as trauma anymore.  It’s just the new normal.

So, we are accidentally training yet another generation to be single parents.  

Hear me.  We are not simply preparing them to deal with single parenthood if it somehow happens.  Listen well.  Look at what we do.  We’re socializing our children to assume and even to PREFER something other than what God called family to be.

And that is like teaching our children to set their own houses on fire and call themselves heroes for doing so.

We’re supposed to want better for our children. Not want the same. 

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her

We’re supposed to want our children to have the corny, boring old daddy-as-husband-mama-as-wife-raising-their-children-together family that God (Who knows what the crap He’s doing) ordained.

No.  Our kids raising their kids in a “traditional” home isn’t quite as heroic as the struggle most parents live through today.

But we only need heroes when we have disasters.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).


To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116