MISERY LOVES COMPANY?

 

They say, “Misery loves company,” but I don’t know about that. 

The idea is we tend to spread our pain to others as if by division we can diminish our share of anguish.  I’ve been sad enough to be bitter and make my company miserable, too.  It didn’t help.  For each companion infected with despair, the inverse occurred, and my share of misery multiplied.   My misery does not love present company. 

But PAST company is welcome. 

There is surprising comfort in realizing that my particular distress isn’t particular to me.  Someone else has scars in the same place.  Others have fought the same battle, lost it like me, survived the loss, fought it again, and survived to share the story.

 This is why I love the Bible’s record of failures.  

 Jacob “wrestling” with insomnia because he’s convinced himself that his brother is going to massacre his entire family (Genesis 32).  David starving himself in seemingly suicidal desperation because he can’t fix the consequences his stupid choices have caused for his child (2 Samuel 12).  Elijah in a state of bi-polar depression running away from his greatest success, isolating himself from loyal company, mentally self-abusing, and wanting to just die. “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” (1 Kings 19: 4).  

None of those miserable examples of humanity survived that moment unscathed, but each of them survived.  They got up --- limping, grieving, chastised and still angry; but they got up and went on to succeed.   

 It comforts me to be in the company of such a great cloud of miserable witnesses.  

It should comfort our community to open the Bible and read that that we are not  the first community of faith to experience this particular combination of anxiety, anger, hope?, resignation, and cynicism about the possibilities of justice. 

The Korahites had been slaves, leaders, rebels, outcasts, and worship leaders.   One of their songs declares the misery of being citizens of a country defined by sin, led by lies, governed unjustly, and oppressed with impunity. 

Vindicate me, O God,

And plead my cause against an ungodly nation;

Oh, deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man!

For You are the God of my strength;

Why do You cast me off?

Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?  (Psalm 43: 1-2)

 

The sons of Korah pleaded for a sign, for a Word from the Lord that would make all their praise and worship seem relevant in the midst of national misery.

 Oh, send out Your light and Your truth!

Let them lead me;

Let them bring me to Your holy hill

And to Your tabernacle.

Then I will go to the altar of God,

To God my exceeding joy;

And on the harp I will praise You,

O God, my God. (Psalm 43: 3-4)

We don’t know what were the specific issues which inspired the 43^rd psalm. What were the alternative facts delivered by the deceitful and unjust man?  Whose lives didn’t matter to the ungodly nation they nevertheless loved?  What were the systemic tools used for oppression?  We don’t know how or if the complaints in the psalm were justly resolved? 

 

All we know is their misery. 

And we know how they survived, got up, and kept going. 

 Why are you cast down, O my soul?

And why are you disquieted within me?

Hope in God;

For I shall yet praise Him,

The help of my countenance and my God. (Psalm 43:  5)     

 

The Korahites worked on themselves internally. 

Why are you cast down, O my soul?  And why are you disquieted within me? 

They concluded that they could not survive depending on circumstances as the source of their mental health.  They recalled that they, like the miserable saints before could endure and progress if they placed their hope in God. 

Hope in God 

The Sons of Korah decided to reinvest in their praise and worship.  To simply DECIDE that their praise and worship was relevant. 

For I shall yet praise Him

They decided to remember, to believe, to KNOW that God had brought them through every past battle; and, therefore, He would bring them through the next battles, including the battles with their own misery. 

The help of my countenance and my God.  

 These all foreshadowed the greatest story of misery and success. 

JESUS had no form or comeliness . . . no beauty that we should desire Him. . .  He was despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  He was lonely because we hid, as it were, our faces from Him.  He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.   (Isaiah 53: 2, 3)

Jesus triumphed over death, the grave, Hell, sin, and human betrayal.  This is our God in whose eternal company we have our most precious hope. 

This is the company that misery can love.   

Over and over, the Bible affirms:  You may not feel alright right now, but you will be alright in the long run. 

You will lose sometimes, but you will ultimately win.

God’s people hurt, too.  But God heals His people.   Every time.

May our present anxiety find relief in the great cloud of witnesses who have suffered and triumphed before us.       

 AND GO VOTE ON TUESDAY. 

-  Anderson T. Graves II, is a writer, community organizer, consultant and the pastor of Bailey Tabernacle CME Church 

Email: BaileyTabernacleChurch@comcast.net

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A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 31: 4-7

Proverbs 31: 4     It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink;
5     Lest they drink and forget the law, and pervert the justice of all the afflicted.
6     Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to those who are bitter of heart.
7     Let him drink and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

Proverbs 31: 4-7.  Talk about an endorsement!  With Lemuel and his mother speaking in this passage, we have a king, a former prince, a queen, and a woman who fought for her place as 1^st lady of the nation all  endorsing the message: Getting drunk is not a good look for a success.   Getting high is not what you do if you want to stay on top.

God blesses people to attain success and power so that they can use their success and power to help others.  The chemicals make you forget that.  The chemicals make you selfish, immoral, and unjust.  The buzz and the high draw you off the path of God’s favor and place you on track for destruction.   Outside of God’s favor there is personal and spiritual poverty.  Outside of God favor there is misery.  Outside of God’s favor there is death in spirit and in truth.

The sad irony is that the closer you get to bottom (to the point of perishing) the more miserable you become and the more you need the buzz to forget how poor and miserable you’re becoming.  And yes, while the chemicals are active in your system, you do forget; but you don’t change.  You’re still impoverished.  You’re still pitiful.  You’re still dying.

And the kings and queens of the culture look down on you and say, “He’s got nothing else.  Let him have another drink.  She’s not doing anything with her life anyway.  Pass her another blunt.  But oh, no.  Nothing for me.  I have a meeting in the morning.”

It doesn’t matter how you categorize your drug of choice. It doesn’t matter if it’s liquid or leafy, synthetic or “social,” packaged or prescribed.  If it’s intoxicating then it’s not helping you succeed.  It’s holding you back.

Since you’ve been intoxicating yourself, you’ve not gotten better have you?  Your relationships aren’t more stable are they?  For all the stuff you’ve dreamed you haven’t actually achieved anything more, have you?

And when you look closely at the bottle-popping, drug-passing imagery you notice that the ones who are fully intoxicated are in the background, servants to the one pouring into their glasses or sitting sober and clear-headed while everybody else gets drunk and high, trying to forget how successful they are not.

Yeah, I know what the songs say.  But  pay more attention to what God says.

Pay more attention.

If you want to be a king, if you want to be a queen -------- you’ve gotta get sober.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

 

Proverbs 31: 4-7

Proverbs 31: 4     It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink;
5     Lest they drink and forget the law, and pervert the justice of all the afflicted.
6     Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to those who are bitter of heart.
7     Let him drink and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

Proverbs 31: 4-7.  Talk about an endorsement!  With Lemuel and his mother speaking in this passage, we have a king, a former prince, a queen, and a woman who fought for her place as 1^st lady of the nation all  endorsing the message: Getting drunk is not a good look for success.   Getting high is not what you do if you want to stay on top.

God blesses people to attain success and power so that they can use their success and power to help others.  The chemicals make you forget that.  The chemicals make you selfish, immoral, and unjust.  The buzz and the high draw you off the path of God’s favor and place you on track for destruction.   Outside of God’s favor there is personal and spiritual poverty.  Outside of God favor there is misery.  Outside of God’s favor there is death in spirit and in truth.

The sad irony is that the closer you get to bottom (to the point of perishing) the more miserable you become and the more you need the buzz to forget how poor and miserable you’re becoming.  And yes, while the chemicals are active in your system, you do forget; but you don’t change.  You’re still impoverished.  You’re still pitiful.  You’re still dying.

And the kings and queens of the culture look down on you and say, “He’s got nothing else.  Let him have another drink.  She’s not doing anything with her life anyway.  Pass her another blunt.  But oh, no.  Nothing for me.  I have a meeting in the morning.”

It doesn’t matter how you categorize your drug of choice. It doesn’t matter if it’s liquid or leafy, synthetic or “social,” packaged or prescribed.  If it’s intoxicating then it’s not helping you succeed.  It’s holding you back.

Since you’ve been intoxicating yourself, you’ve not gotten better have you?  Your relationships aren’t more stable are they?  For all the stuff you’ve dreamed you haven’t actually achieved anything more, have you?

And when you look closely at the bottle-popping, drug-passing imagery you notice that the ones who are fully intoxicated are in the background, servants to the one pouring into their glasses or sitting sober and clear-headed while everybody else gets drunk and high, trying to forget how successful they are not.

Yeah, I know what the songs say.  But  pay more attention to what God says.

Pay more attention.

If you want to be a king, if you want to be a queen -------- you’ve gotta get sober.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116