FOR THE LADIES: HOW TO AVOID SINGING THE BLUES

blogging Genesis 29, 30

Now Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah’s eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance.

Now Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, “I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.”. . .  So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her

. . . Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in to her.”

And Laban gathered together all the men of the place and made a feast

. . .  So it came to pass in the morning, that behold, it was Leah. And he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served you? Why then have you deceived me?”

. . . Then Jacob also went in to Rachel, and he also loved Rachel more than Leah. And he served with Laban still another seven years.

. . . When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren.  So Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben; for she said, “The Lord has surely looked on my affliction. Now therefore, my husband will love me.”  Then she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the Lord has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also.” And she called his name Simeon. She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore his name was called Levi And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Now I will praise the Lord.” Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she stopped bearing. (Genesis 29:16-35)

For 7 years, Jacob  made it abundantly clear that Rachel was his one true love (Genesis 29: 18-20).  But, Leah believed that she could change him. 

If only he was her man. 

Leah’s dad trapped Jacob into marriage to Leah, and Jacob honored those vows until they were parted by death, but he never really loved Leah (Genesis 29:30).

If she had the chance to “put it on him right” she’d make him love her.  If she had his baby, he would be hers, truly hers.

Jacob and Leah had sex --- a lot of sex.  She bore him 6 sons and his only daughter, and with each new baby she was sure that Now therefore, my husband will love me, now this time my husband will become attached to me.

Leah's troubles may have inspired the late, great blues artist B. B. King.

Leah gave him 7 children, but Jacob never really loved her back. 

And the deep theological insight we derive from this ancient text is: 

IF HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU, HE JUST DOESN’T LOVE YOU.

He might be loving and lovable but not love you. 

He might be really good to her, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be any good to you.

He might find you relationally compatible, maternally impressive, and sexually exciting; but that doesn’t mean he loves you.

 

Some men will say they love you when they really don’t.  Only time and objective discernment can test the truth of a declaration of love.

But if he told you that he DOESN’T love you, you don’t need to perform any tests.  He don’t (grammar intentional).  And he probably never will.

Move on before you fall any deeper, or you’ll end up singing the blues.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

Email atgravestwo2@aol.com

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Follow me on twitter @AndersonTGraves 

Click here to support this ministry with a donation.  Or go to andersontgraves.blogspot.com and click on the DONATE button on the right-hand sidebar.

Support by check or money order may be mailed to 

Miles Chapel CME Church

P O Box 132

Fairfield, Al 35064

WHEN GOD LETS YOU HURT

How do we respond to suffering that we don’t deserve?  How do we deal with pain that is not just punishment for our sins? And why, why does God even let such situations happen?

The Bible doesn’t ignore these questions.  God answers them.

Open your Bible to the book of Job and hear a message about WHEN GOD LETS YOU HURT.

Listen well.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer, and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church and the executive director of SAYNO (Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization) in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

Subscribe to my personal blog  www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com .

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

THE OTHER HALF OF CRAZY

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?

You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. (James 4: 1, 2)

The layman’s definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.   But, that’s only half of the crazy.

The crazier half is not realizing that the reason you fail is because of the things you continue to do over and over.

James, the brother of the Lord, wrote a plea to the early church.  In the A. T. Graves paraphrased version James said: “Where da’ crap do you think all this drama comes from?  Don’t you see that you’re the source of all your confusion?   You want stuff, and the way you try to get it is the very reason why you don’t have it.  But you keep trying to get it the same way.”

James goes on to point out that some of the stuff they want is stuff they shouldn’t have---- but that’s a topic for another post.

If your life is a continuing cycle of 4 months of ballin’ followed by 2 months of bankruptcy and begging------ where da’ crap  do you think your bankruptcy comes from?  It’s not because of haters, or the government, or your baby’s daddy/ mama ‘nem.  It’s because as soon as you get a little money, you spend it foolishly.   Stop the foolishness (STOP not pause and restart) and the cycle of desperation will magically go away.

If you keep falling in and out of toxic, dead-end, destructive relationships------ who da’ crap do you think keeps bringing these people into your life?  The neighborhood doesn’t go out with them.  Your “haters” don’t give them your number and home address.  And all men/ all women aren’t like that----- or you wouldn’t have so many couples to envy.  Baby, it’s you.  If you stop selecting your romantic interests based on the worst possible set of standards then you wouldn’t keep ending up with the worst possible kinds of people.

If your church is in continual decline----- who?  Who in crap do you think is killing the ministry?  The gates of Hell can’t prevail against the church, but the Hell on the inside will kill it like cancer.  Stop blaming the media, the bishops, the big church up the road, and the devil.  It is the wars and fights we perpetuate among ourselves that kill churches.  It is our own desires for power and control no matter what the cost to the young, the weak, and the spiritually vulnerable. 

We fail because we keep doing the things that cause failure and we not only expect a different result, we haven’t even accepted that our current results are our fault.

Fortunately, James articulates the solution as well as the problem.

James 4: 7-12.

·         Submit to God.

·         Resist the devil

·         Draw near to God  

·         Cleanse your hands

·         Purify your hearts

·         Lament

·         Mourn

·         Weep

·         Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.

·         Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord

·         Do not speak evil of one another

Do these things instead of what you’ve been doing/ are doing now and these will be your new results:

·         The devil will flee from you.

·         God will draw near to you.

·         The Lord will lift you up.

If you want different, you gotta do different.  But first, you have to accept that what you are still doing is the reason that you are still failing.

Yeah, I know that sucks, but I’m only telling you because I love you.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

Call  334-288-0577
Email atgravestwo2@aol.com
Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

If you enjoy our work, please help support our work in the community. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

WHAT (ELSE) MAMA SAID

In the movies, when a parent leaves an important detail out of their instructions, the results are hilarious.  But, in real-life, when parents give incomplete advice, especially incomplete advice about relationships-----the results are tragic.

How do we know what to tell our children about romance and relationships and what to leave out? 

What do we do if our parents somehow missed giving us the whole story?  
Is there any hope for raising up godly families in a culture where damaged relationships are more common than healthy ones?

The challenging and encouraging answer to these questions are given in a message called  WHAT (ELSE) MAMA SAID.

Listen well.

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---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com  
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves
If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order.

Mail all contributions to:

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116