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Showing posts with label open. Show all posts

Monday, August 25, 2014

SELF CONTROL


The Apostle Paul was all about self-control.  In 1 Corinthians, he referred to himself as a spiritual athlete who disciplined his body to keep it under control (9: 24-27).  In advice to his protégé Titus, Paul advocated self-discipline and self-control as necessary for a Christian leader (1: 8; 2: 12).  In Galatians 5, Paul listed self-control as one of the fruit of the having the Holy Spirit.  Paul developed such mastery of his desires that he remained celibate his entire life---- and not-locked-in-a-monastery celibate or restricted-by-a-vow-and-church-mandate celibate, but traveling-all-over-the-middle-east-and-Mediterranean celibate because I choose to be.

That’s some serious self-control.

But, sometimes Paul got really, really emotional, like in 2 Corinthians.

O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. (2 Corinthians 6: 11)

“Hear wide open”?  Sounds like the title of an emo-rock song.

Paul went on to say:
We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us (verse 12, NIV)

And to ask/ beg the Church of Corinth to:
Open your hearts to us. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have cheated no one.  (2 Corinthians 7: 2)

Paul sounds downright SENSITIVE.   

I was thinking about this for Sunday school and wondering, “What happened to all of that 1st century self-control?”  And I realized that the question revealed as much about me and my social context as it did about Paul and his.

My community in Bassfield, Mississippi, trained me to control my emotions.  From my earliest memories of interacting with adults, my father, my mother, aunts, uncles, older cousins, teachers, my big sister---- everybody taught, tested, and reinforced the idea that to “man up” and “grow up” I had to put my feelings in check.  Strength and maturity meant emotional self-control.

Since those formative years I’ve been blessed to learn other perspectives on emotional well-being.  I came of age at the height of the sensitive man movement.  My peers have led the charge in giving men and boys the freedom to cry.  I look back now on those early rural lessons in self-control, and I compare that with what I’ve learned in my intellectual wanderings, and Paul’s emotional perspective in the Bible.

Now I know.

My folks in Bassfield were right.

Kinda.

Emotional self-control is a mark of maturity.  Emotional self-discipline does indicate personal strength.

But not the way we typically practice them.

Love, mercy, transparency, forgiveness, humility, compassion, tenderness, etc. make you vulnerable.  These feelings lead you into situations in which you give more than you receive.  These emotions make you available to people, some of whom will inevitably hurt you.

Anger, vengeance, lust, ambition, etc. make you feel strong and powerful.  They lead to the pursuit of immediate self-satisfaction, which is ---- well, it’s immediately self-satisfying.

Most people, especially men, think “control” means suppressing the emotions that make you feel vulnerable while feeding the emotions that make you feel strong.

That’s the exact wrong kind of self-control.

God wants us to have the RIGHT KIND of self-control.  In Genesis 2, Cain, Adam’s & Eve’s oldest son, got angry at his little brother Abel.  God told Cain to get a hold on his emotions.

So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?  If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”  (Genesis 4: 6, 7)

Don’t let your feeling control you, Cain, but you should rule over it.

Biblcal self-control means that we check, cool, suppress, subjugate, rule over the negative emotions that make us feel strong.  Those are the ones we watch and hold in check.

We feel anger, but we control it so that it doesn’t become sin. (Ephesians 4: 26)

The Old Testament passage that Ephesians quotes explains how to self-regulate that anger.
Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. (Psalm 4: 4)

The sun shouldn’t go down on our wrath because we’re supposed to sit down, calm ourselves, and find our emotional anchor in God.

Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord. (verse 5)

This is how the Bible teaches us to control our emotions.

Consciously check the emotions that make you feel close you off and make you feel strong in the short term, and deliberately nurture the emotions that open your heart to others.

And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you (1 Thessalonians 3: 12)

Peter said
Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. (1 Peter 3: 8, 9)

And even though Peter didn’t always get his fellow-apostle Paul (2 Peter 3: 15, 16); Peter didn’t think it was too hard to understand Paul’s perspective on self-control.

Paul, the apostle of self-discipline, was so touch-feely in his letter to the Corinthians because transparent, vulnerable brotherly love is the epitome of strength and self-control.

Think about Moses.
Now the man Moses was very humble, more than all men who were on the face of the earth. (Numbers 12: 3)

Think about Jesus.

Think about the discipline, the strength, the self-control it took to not burn down the whole doggone planet, but instead to love, forgive, heal, help, listen to, repeat Himself over and over and over to, and sacrifice Himself for------ everybody.

Individual self-control is good, and Biblical, and necessary.    But’s it’s different from what we may have learned.

And so, self-control in Jesus’ name in Jesus church is not the stuck up, funless, heartless shallow religiosity we have too often practiced. 

Christian self-discipline in the church means having the strength to be humble, weak, and vulnerable in front of people.

It means being strong enough to speak openly and say, “My heart is wide open to you.”

In the church, ruthlessness means immaturity. Maturity brings transparency.  Power struggles are for babes in Christ.  Mature Christians seek opportunities to give not to acquire.

I speak as to my children--open wide your hearts also. (2 Corinthians 6: 13)

Add that kind of self-control to sound knowledge of Biblical truth, and God will add to the church today like He added to the church in Paul’s and Peter’s day.

But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1: 5-8)


---Rev. Anderson T. Graves II   (email:  atgravestwo2@aol.com )

Anderson T. Graves II is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Miles Chapel CME Church (5220 Myron Massey Boulevard) in Fairfield, Alabama;  executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO);  and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).

Subscribe to my blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com  

Friend me at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Proverbs 31: 8 "JUDGE & ADVOCATE"

Proverbs 31: 8     Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die.
9     Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31: 8, 9.  A king had the authority to order an execution.  He was also the last hope of appeal from a death sentence issued by a lower authority in the kingdom.   It was the king’s right and responsibility to HEAR appeals from those who’d been appointed to die, but read carefully the message to/from King Lemuel.  

The king’s job wasn’t just to hear appeals from the ultimate condemnation.  The king’s job was also to MAKE THE APPEAL, to open his own mouth on behalf of those who did not have the resources, power, or eloquence to plead for their own lives.

Basically, whenever the condemned person had no one else to plead his/her case, a righteous king was supposed to try to talk himself out of ordering the execution.

Now, to be clear---- justice demands the ultimate penalty in certain cases (Romans 13: 3, 4).  A ruler who just lets everybody go is just as unjust as one who arbitrarily punishes everybody.

Justice is not automatically served by severity or by leniency.  Justice, godly justice, demands that somebody speaks for the prosecution and somebody speaks for the defense.  A leader, a godly judge, seeks justice so when no one speaks for the defense, the judge himself must be both judge and advocate. 

That wouldn’t work in America’s court system; but it works just fine for God.

Jesus is the Supreme judge, the last seat of appeal for the sentence of eternal condemnation.
John 5:22 For the Father judges no one, but has committed all judgment to the Son

When we stand before Him, the indisputable evidence of our sins condemns us all. 
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death

When we stand before God in judgment we stand already condemned, and we stand alone----- without defense and without an alibi.
Romans 1:20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse

But God is absolutely just.  So Jesus -----if we have received Him by placing our faith in Him----- acts as our defense attorney in judgment.
1 John 2:1 My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. 

That’s why the Holy Spirit showed a courtroom scene to the Old Testament prophet Zechariah’s.

Zechariah 3:1     Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the Angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to oppose him.
2     And the Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?”
3     Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments, and was standing before the Angel.
4     Then He[the Lord acting as advocate] answered and spoke to those who stood before Him, saying, “Take away the filthy garments from him.” And to him He said, “See, I have removed your iniquity from you, and I will clothe you with rich robes.”
5     And I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.”
So they put a clean turban on his head, and they put the clothes on him. And the Angel of the Lord stood by.

Notice in Zechariah 3:2, that the Lord is talking about the Lord.  Jesus, who is God, King, & Judge, is talking Himself out of condemning His condemned servant.

What is the greatest punishment within your power to assign?  Firing? Cussing out?  Assault? Destruction of a reputation?  Divorce?  Death?

Sometimes, the ultimate judgment is fitting (Matthew 25: 46).

But you must never issue that ultimate judgment lightly?  Even when the accused seems obviously deserving, especially when the accused has no power to stop you or to protect themselves----- you must pause in judgment and try to talk yourself out of issuing your ultimate sentence?

And if you can’t, if justice demands the highest condemnation, then execute the judgment soberly, with a heavy heart.  Since holy, sinless, perfect God has no pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezekiel 33: 11);  then neither should we.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).


To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme.blogspot.com .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116

A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 31: 8 "JUDGE & ADVOCATE"

Proverbs 31: 8     Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die.
9     Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31: 8, 9.  A king had the authority to order an execution.  He was also the last hope of appeal from a death sentence issued by a lower authority in the kingdom.   It was the king’s right and responsibility to HEAR appeals from those who’d been appointed to die, but read carefully the message to/from King Lemuel.  

The king’s job wasn’t just to hear appeals from the ultimate condemnation.  The king’s job was also to MAKE THE APPEAL, to open his own mouth on behalf of those who did not have the resources, power, or eloquence to plead for their own lives.

Basically, whenever the condemned person had no one else to plead his/her case, a righteous king was supposed to try to talk himself out of ordering the execution.

Now, to be clear---- justice demands the ultimate penalty in certain cases (Romans 13: 3, 4).  A ruler who just lets everybody go is just as unjust as one who arbitrarily punishes everybody.

Justice is not automatically served by severity or by leniency.  Justice, godly justice, demands that somebody speaks for the prosecution and somebody speaks for the defense.  A leader, a godly judge, seeks justice so when no one speaks for the defense, the judge himself must be both judge and advocate. 

That wouldn’t work in America’s court system; but it works just fine for God.

Jesus is the Supreme judge, the last seat of appeal for the sentence of eternal condemnation.
John 5:22 For the Father judges no one, but has committed all judgment to the Son

When we stand before Him, the indisputable evidence of our sins condemns us all. 
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death

When we stand before God in judgment we stand already condemned, and we stand alone----- without defense and without an alibi.
Romans 1:20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse

But God is absolutely just.  So Jesus -----if we have received Him by placing our faith in Him----- acts as our defense attorney in judgment.
1 John 2:1 My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. 

That’s why the Holy Spirit showed a courtroom scene to the Old Testament prophet Zechariah’s.

Zechariah 3:1     Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the Angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to oppose him.
2     And the Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?”
3     Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments, and was standing before the Angel.
4     Then He[the Lord acting as advocate] answered and spoke to those who stood before Him, saying, “Take away the filthy garments from him.” And to him He said, “See, I have removed your iniquity from you, and I will clothe you with rich robes.”
5     And I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.”
So they put a clean turban on his head, and they put the clothes on him. And the Angel of the Lord stood by.

Notice in Zechariah 3:2, that the Lord is talking about the Lord.  Jesus, who is God, King, & Judge, is talking Himself out of condemning His condemned servant.

What is the greatest punishment within your power to assign?  Firing? Cussing out?  Assault? Destruction of a reputation?  Divorce?  Death?

Sometimes, the ultimate judgment is fitting (Matthew 25: 46).

But you must never issue that ultimate judgment lightly?  Even when the accused seems obviously deserving, especially when the accused has no power to stop you or to protect themselves----- you must pause in judgment and try to talk yourself out of issuing your ultimate sentence?

And if you can’t, if justice demands the highest condemnation, then execute the judgment soberly, with a heavy heart.  Since holy, sinless, perfect God has no pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezekiel 33: 11);  then neither should we.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).


You can read more on Pastor Graves's personal blog at www.andersontgraves.blogspot.com or   .

If this message helps or touches you, please help support this ministry. Send a donation of any amount by check or money order.
Mail all contributions to :
Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116